I Took My Cape Off.

Namastè!

I did it.

I don't regret it.

I took off my cape.

You know the one.

The super mom cape.

...and I feel like a whole new person.

See, I grew up without the typical nuclear family. (I was primarily raised by my grandma.) I didn't want for anything  BUT I always promised myself and the Universe that if I ever had children, I would be as close to perfect as I could possibly muster.

You may be nodding your head.

You also probably don't get it.

I didn't want to be a good mom. I didn't want to be a great mom.

Nope.

I wanted to be perfect. As close to it as I could get.

I planned my entire foray into parenting down to their names. (I still have a few left in case Hubby and I aren't finished.) I knew what schools I wanted them to attend--homeschool was first choice, followed by prime districts in four of my chosen cities. I knew I'd breastfeed, they would not consume dairy, and they'd eat as much organic food as I could get. I wouldn't have them watch television--they would read!!! I would have them sleep trained and on this utopian schedule by 2 months. I would document their development with expertly-staged photos and videos.

...I didn't see LIFE looming around the bend, though.

I didn't plan to lose sleep worrying about how many ounces this one drank or how many actual calories that one managed to eat between sprints around the playroom. I didn't plan to fall apart over lost socks or outgrown shoes that were sooooo stinking cute just a few days ago and why can't you still wear them?!

Nah.

I was supposed to be cool, calm, and collected.

Supposed to be.

These days I'm not so into perfection.

I'm into letting the baby sleep on my chest. I'm into making mud pies and volcanoes with my princess. I enjoy everything wild and magical about being mommy to a toddler!!! (He can TALK, y'all!)

There's a schedule, but it doesn't revolve around my art gallery visits or work. It doesn't revolve around whatever cute couple-y things Hubby and I want to do.

It revolves around the little people. The little people we made! (How cool and perfect is that?! We made them and they are still flourishing. Thriving even!)

See, I traded my IDEA of perfection for my REALITY.

It isn't perfection by a long shot...but it's so much more enjoyable to just be in the moment.

I'm learning still. I still have to remind myself that it is perfectly fine if everyone stays in pajamas one day. Or three. We don't have to eat Instagram-worthy meals every day. (Although I do plate a mean display! I make absolutely PRETTY veggie nuggets and cauliflower tots when given the opportunity!)

I threw that "supermom" cape away and actually became Supermom. The real one.

I'm not a hot mess mama by a long shot--my house has to be clean. My kids aren't allowed or encouraged to be bratty. And I seriously believe in cooking 6 nights a week, even when it doesn't happen that way.

Because I'm a type A personality, this "laissez-faire" outlook is taking some adjusting. I have to consciously give up control over the minutiae so I can actually be present in those moments. I don't stage those pristine photos, but I do snap life as it happens when I have a moment.

I stopped letting my past drive my present. I felt a lot of pressure, mostly self-inflicted,  to be a perfect parent. I was subconsciously trying to be that perfect mom for TAYÈ,  not my kids. The thing is, Tayè is an adult now and has adjusted.

Tayè turned out just fine.

Tayè turned out just fine.

I reiterated that because sometimes I need a reminder. No matter how well-adjusted I am  (and seriously, I feel like I do very well!), I still revert back to see of my old coping mechanisms when my back is against the wall or the pressure mounts.

I am a perfectionist because I felt like that would draw the interest of my biological parents. (It's didn't.) I am a perfectionist because that's my insurance policy against being called a slacker. (I'm not a slacker by any means--I know this but I still have a ways to go toward truly internalizing it.) I always feel like I could be doing more, or doing what I'm doing a bit better.

Learning to be gentle with myself has been a process.  I'm a huge critic of me. (That's generally why criticism doesn't bother me--I give it to myself twenty times harder.)

...but I hung up the proverbial cape. I'm learning to enjoy things. I have a huge zest for life. I just have to let myself breathe and not worry so much.

It's a process I'm undertaking with--What else?!--a winner's  outlook.

That cape can stay on the hook, though.  I won't be needing that.

I hope you'll hang yours up too.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Don't Be So Quick to Tylenol that Fever...

Namastè!

On the topic of flu and colds, we can't ignore the elephant in the room.

Fever.

We watch those thermometers like mama and papa hawks. Anything over 98.6 must be dealt with, right?

Well, no.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics...

Because a fever is the body's defense, and how it inactivates viruses, it is fine to NOT grab the Tylenol and Motrin immediately. When we inhibit this defense mechanism, we actually worsen/lengthen illnesses.

(You can check my facts here.)

NOTE: It's important to regard the actual thresholds for each age group, and note any additional conditions or health constraints your child may have, when deciding how to proceed with any medical treatment.

Many times, we think of the fever itself as an illness.

It isn't. It's a symptom, a cue that we feel, which lets us know something is amiss. Kinda like the body's AHA! moment where it mounts a higher defense against the bacteria or virus.

Unless my kids are unusually lethargic (read: not playing or doing their usual activities), I don't treat their fevers. I watch them and keep a close check on their temps, but I don't immediately grab meds.

What do I do?

👑 Keep them hydrated. Popsicles, fruit juice, breastmilk (for the tinies), and good old cold water are top choices. I also like to give them chunks of cucumber, because it is cooling. We also keep Gatorade on hand. (They only drink the lemon-lime.)

👑 Keep them comfortable. I set the thermostat on 70, and let them wander around in a very light layer of clothing. Or just a diaper for the smallest.

👑 Keep them under observation. While I don't grab meds at the first sign of an elevated temp, I do keep check on it. I try to take their temps ever hour or so while awake, and every couple hours as they sleep.

👑 Keep simple foods on hand. My kids aren't the best eaters when they're ill (typical of most kids, I imagine) so we generally have soup and crackers. They love homemade chicken noodle with Goldfish crackers, rasam (which is essentially tamarind soup) with chapatis (essentially, Indian pancakes.), and miso. These options are nutritious and filling, yet easy on the tummy.

👑 Keep them rested! I encourage naps and calm activities, because resting is necessary for healing. When they're under the weather, I read to them more often and cuddle for more movie time.

NOTE: Any time you feel a stronger option or more in-depth care is warranted, call your pediatrician. Don't take just my word. Urgent care and emergency care exist to help manage symptoms we aren't comfortable treating without a doctor or nurse to guide us.

Wouldn't it be easier to just give them meds?

Possibly.

But if we take away the defense in the name of quick comfort, we risk far more discomfort later when the illness lingers.

Also, like most medications, fever meds have effects. They make kids fussy and sleepy, and can disrupt their eating. Some children are allergic. (For example, I am allergic to aspirin.)

Aspirin (think Baby Bayer) has a risk of Reye Syndrome. Acetaminophen  (good old Tylenol) carries the potential to damage one's liver. Ibuprofen (hello, Motrin) can damage your stomach and intestines.

Would cycling the meds eliminate the risks?

Yes...and trade the inherent risks for one more huge one: accidental overdose.

The theory behind cycling meds is noble. It's done to avoid maxing out on one particular medication while still getting the benefit. In this case, reduction/alleviation of fever. However, cycling must be done carefully and under the watch of a pediatrician, because it is easier than you think for a baby, toddler, or child to get too much medicine, quickly.

There are no risks involved with the steps I mentioned taking BEFORE resorting to meds, though.

Now...before anyone accuses me of being anti-medicine (you would be correct, as I avoid as much pharmaceutical treatment as is safely possible) or anti-doctor (you would be wrong, as I'm far from that but very pro common sense also) hear me out ...

I believe in as much comfort as possible. I wouldn't recommend for your children anything I haven't successfully done for my own. Research backs me on this. The American Academy of Pediatrics backs me. So I feel confident in sharing it.

I'm fully on-board with meds when no other remedies have worked, or if my kids are in pain or distress. I just don't grab the first aid kit at the first sign of a little something. (A big something is an entirely different case.) Part of today's immunity crisis is due to overmedication and hyper zealous "management" of the body's natural defense. If you never successfully slay a dragon, you'll never learn what works. If you never BUILD an immune defense, what are you to use against a common illness, your charm and wit?

Trust me, throwing well-timed jabs at a cold doesn't work. I am or may not have tried it. *chuckle *

...

Namastè!

-- Tayé K. 👑

How We Keep the (Worst of the) Flu At Bay

Namastè!

Aughhh, this cold and flu season has been horrid. (I said that in a previous post. I like themes, so here we are.)

This particular trip might seem a bit odd considering we didn't actually prevent the flu 100%. We have managed to avoid hospitalization though. Our kids were seen and diagnosed by a doctor but used zero prescriptions and minimal medications period. We beat it just the same, using simple, common sense remedies and preventive measures to keep its reign over our home very short.

NOTE: I'm not some whack job who will tell you to avoid medical care. I clearly stated we were seen and diagnosed by a doctor. We did not accept antibiotics (influenza is a virus), and our medical team agreed that the best way to treat it would be to let it run its course and keep the kids as comfortable as we could in the meantime. Don't take this as a surefire treatment plan, but rather an account of resources successfully managed and utilized.

That being said...

Once we knew for sure it was flu (and adenovirus for our princess), we set out to relieve as much discomfort as possible.

No antibiotics!

The flu and/or adenovirus and their symptoms cannot be treated by antibiotics.

Why?

Because true influenza and adenovirus are not cause by bacteria. They are viral infections. Antibiotics kill off LIVING infections--but viruses are neither living NOR dead. They must run their course.

This doesn't mean the body has no defense, though...

Don't be so quick to quell that fever!!!

When the body mounts a defense against a virus, we often get a fever. It's very important to NOT blindly suppress this reaction--that fever is how your body inactivates the virus.

Once the virus has been inactivated, it no longer replicates its DNA. Which, in layman's terms, means the body has successfully "beat it." This is why the symptoms tend to taper off after 24 hours or so of no fever. No replication (i.e., "spreading" through the body by hijacking your DNA in order to "copy" its own) means the virus has run its course, and you'll begin to feel better.

NOTE: I said, "Don't blindly suppress this defense." I did not say, "Completely ignore temperatures." We must be mindful and vigilant of the fever. You needn't medicate for "regular" temps (see chart), but ANYTHING higher than indicated safe by the American Academy of Pediatrics needs to be treated and/or addressed by an actual MD. While I have a vast grasp of medical info, my experience is still limited to nursing. I'm not an MD--and I can't treat or even diagnose your child via online interaction.  This post is intended to be a guideline for comforting and preventing, NOT diagnosing or curing.

Here's the tea, per the AAP, regarding fevers. It shows what actually constitutes a fever. We often think a fever (hyperthermia) is anything over 98.6--but if that were true then anything below that point would be hypothermia, which is when the body temperature drops way too low! Crazy, right?

Wash your hands.

Common sense. Was your hands!!! You touch things that others touch, and an exchange happens--you leave your germs,but take some of theirs along when you go.

We often joke that we would rather eat a sandwich off our store's toilet seat than from the hands of someone who touched a doorknob and didn't wash or sanitize afterwards.

Drastic?

No. In our stores (we are, among other professions and ventures, a convenience store family) the toilets are literally sanitized after each use. We wipe down the door handles and knobs fastidiously as well--but those doors see far more visitors than our bathroom. Because those doors see more visitors, they see more germs. There isn't even time on,the average shift to clean the door handles and knobs after every touch, so imagine how nasty they get... *shudders*

Think about that the next time you're in public. Then wash your hands. (And PLEASE Lysol your doorknobs & other common TREATABLE surfaces at home. You'd be surprised at how much bacteria/potential sickness you can eliminate.)

Eat well.

A good diet does more than keep your clothes fitting right and your kids growing well. It also helps boost your immune system!

We're far more likely to get sick if, in addition to the added strain of fighting off an infection, our bodies are lacking vitamins and/or nutrients. Good food fuel is key to staying well in the first place, and can greatly reduce the duration of an illness should one occur.

Should you fall ill, eating (or drinking) better will help give your body the fuel,it needs to heal. That's why the best "remedies" are black elderberry, ginger, honey, and lemon, among others.

Stay hydrated!

You would not drive your car without the right levels of oil, water, and gas. That'd be hell on your engine. So...why would you push your body tho work without proper hydration?

Hygiene matters.

I bathe at night and shower in the morning. If I get pooped/peed/puked on, that's another shower. If I am sick, I skip the evening bath in favor of a shower. My kids have the same routine--a wash off in the mornings (or if they get particularly grubby) and a bath in the tub at night. We all brush our teeth twice a day. We wash our hair a couple times a week. Nails are cleaned and trimmed as needed. We wash our hands often during the day.

Excessive?

Not to me. The very bacteria and viruses that cause these "epidemics" are commonly found on our bodies--on our hands, under our nails, and in our mouths! Simple hygiene eliminates them.

Clean that house.

A clean body means nil if the house is dirty.

I'm a bit of a neat freak--I don't let laundry pile up, I don't let dishes sit in the sink unwashed, and I don't let more than two days lapse between vacuuming. Not just because I don't like clutter, but because I don't like the dust, allergens, and general ickiness that would pile up if I let the house get too out of hand.

Note: I'm a mom. You'll find toys in my floor and hair elastics on the sink. I don't always empty the dishwasher. When I say clean, I don't mean PERFECT. I mean there aren't vermin skittering across the countertops and plates of yuck under the couches. I consider a room clean if I can take a photo and not need to crop anything out for presentability. Your mileage and preference may vary!

I just wipe countertops, doorknobs, and common surfacess with Seventh Gen dish soap and hot water with a dash of bleach. After that I run a vacuum over the floor, run the dishwasher, and fold up whatever blankets the kids have dragged out. Twenty mins tops and the house looks great--and I feel like the absence of excess keeps the ickies down.

STAY HOME.

If you are battling a cold, OR just getting over the hump, STAY HOME.

I know, I know...you have a litany of reasons,why you have to go out. But bear this in mind--you are not only exposing everyone else to YOUR germs. YOU ARE EXPOSING YOURSELF TO EVERYONE ELSE'S GERMS WHILE YOUR DEFENSES ARE DOWN FROM FIGHTING YOUR OWN.

I inflected on that last sentence there. It's a true story. It is how my Princess ended up with both flu AND adenovirus. Taking her to be diagnosed wasn't optional. Despite the precautions we took, she still encountered and contracted the adenovirus. She was out, with limited resistance, and the current strains of both influenza and adenovirus are airborne.

...so, I am adamant that home is where you (and I) belong when we are sick and potentially contagious.

It's not a utopian idea. Stay home as much as possible. (And take precautions like masks and hand sanitizer when you must go out!) You can greatly reduce Your chances of getting sicker, or sharing your sickness with others simply by staying put.

Just because your fever is gone, doesn't mean you need to mix and mingle!

If not for YOU, think about all the immunocompromised people--transplant recipients, tiny babies with no immunity, elderly people!!!--for whom YOUR cold could be THEIR pneumonia or worse.

Some of what works for me might seem like unicorn ideals to you, but of I share it and it helps even one of you, I'll proudly be your unicorn blogger mama. Come to think of it, I dig unicorns anyway...new tagine, perhaps?!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Boogie Wipes!!! (A Review Post)

Namastè!

Aughhhhhh, this cold and flu season has been horrendous. I’ve had to quarantine Kids Namaste to make sure they didn’t share their ickiness, and I’ve been running ragged trying to keep them comfortable. My most challenging (and by challenging, I mean generally noncompliant, shrewish, and downright hard-to-treat *chuckles*) patient approves...sorta. By approves, I mean he didn't hide or run away.

One of my go-to products for comfort during a cold? Boogie Wipes!  I was super excited to snag a promo pack from them.

NOTE: While the products mentioned in this review are sponsored by Boogie Wipes, the opinions, experiences, and insights about said products are mine and mine alone.

Lookie-loo what I gottttttttt... Boogie WIpes in all three scents PLUS their brand new UNSCENTED saline mist. (Wipes are available in all three scents in Wal-Mart, Target, Rite-Aid, CVS, and Walgreens--check your local stores. The unscented mist is ONLY available in Wal-Mart.)

I first got aboard the Boogie Wipes train in 2009. My princess was under the weather (read: pneumonia—AGAIN) and I needed to get some of those fever patches. While looking for the fever patches, I came across this cute little package of purple, grape-scented wipes just for noses. Since she was having a lot of runny noses, and a lot of discomfort from dry tissues AND baby wipes, I decided to give these little saline grape wipes a try.

Fast forward 8 years later, I keep those little grape wipes--and their fresh and unscented counterparts—on deck for runny noses.

Why use a saline wipe? Wouldn’t a regular wipe do the job just fine?

Well, look at this label. The first ingredients are water, salt (sodium chloride), aloe vera, and chamomile. (I underlined them because I'm a gem.)

No alcohol.

Saline is gentle. Alcohol is not gentle. Alcohol is, in actuality, much more not gentle than those dry tissues... *sighs* Can you imagine (or remember) the sting of having a tender raw nose, but mom keeps wiping it anyway? OUCH.

When I’m wiping my kids’ noses multiple times a day, I don’t want them to be further irritated by dry tissues. Even the softest facial tissues can irritate a tender nose.

Boogie Wipes were invented by moms, and they got it right.

So…no, using a regular wipe won’t do the job just fine. Of course someone somewhere would be wagging their finger or rolling their eyes at me, the extra mom, but I firmly believe a butt needs a butt wipe and a nose needs a Boogie Wipe! (See what I did there?)

Also in my promo package was the unscented saline mist.

Misting a baby or toddler can be difficult. They don’t want to sit still, and they don’t want that stuff going in their noses. Understandable, especially considering some saline mists AREN’T simply salt and water. See this label?

ONLY water and 0.9% sodium chloride. No extra preservatives, add-ins, or unpronounceable things added in to make the can heavier.That’s a big deal to me—I don’t like excess medication, and I don’t really like extra research projects. I research every ingredient in everything my kids use or ingest. I know exactly what salt and water are, without needing to crack out a reference tome. MAJOR plus! There are ZERO alcohols, chlorines, parabens, or phthalates in Boogie Wipes. They are hypoallergenic! (But don’t flush them!)

The Boogie Wipes mist is a breeze to use also. (Rather than depress my son’s nostril, I had him tilt his head to the side.  When we finish with the mist, I (or he) wipe his nose with a Boogie Wipe.

…and he breathes easily.  

I especially like the mist for right before bed, because with his round of flu and adenovirus, his congestion has been worse at night. With the Boogie Mist and Boogie Wipes, we’ve been able to keep him nice and comfortable, and he’s been able to fall asleep without the battle.

He's ALSO learned to blow his own nose. He prefers to wipe his own face, and because the saline in Boogie Wipes is gentle yet very effective at cleaning away the nose goblins, we happily oblige. Plus he's darn cute. *heart eyes*

This company makes their products right here in the US of A. Upon further reading of the label, I found THIS little tidbit: Each purchase of Boogie Wipes products helps provide jobs for Second Chance Employees. I love this! I like supporting companies that support the community.

You can find out about Second Chance Employees here. And don’t forget to check out the Boogie Wipes site as well, for information on their products AND of course, to re-up and replenish your stash.

Up next, I'll be sharing MY personal tips to surviving the flu AND how to prevent its spread in the first place.

Namastè!

--Tayé K.

 

Actually, My Kids AREN'T Encouraged to Be Sassy--They're Encouraged to Behave Well.

Namastè!

We had unavoidable errands to attend this week, and naturally I had the kids in tow. (Which, let me tell you, is a workout.) In our travels, we ran across an adorable little tot. She couldn't have been more than two or three, and she was precious. Beautiful child.

How did we notice her, in a throng of other equally adorable kids?

Well, because she was being a sassy butt. An absolute brat, if I'm being blunt.

(And no, I didn't conduct some deep study into her life. She was yelling, kicking, and crying over a toy because mom said NO. She even had the wherewithal to BARGAIN with her mom about not throwing things if she got the toy.)

No dice. Except instead of flat out refusing the purchase and letting that be it, the mom bargained right back. It was actually pretty sad, because no parent should actually "have to" beg a toddler.

Request, yes. Beg? No.

So...the kid threw her shoe.

NOTE: I'm not judging, just describing what I saw and how it relates to what I'm asserting. If this child was not encouraged and applauded for being...sassy, as her mom put it...she wouldn't have been comfortable throwing her shoe at her mom in Wal-Mart.

I kid you not...this sweet-faced little girl had an arm on her. She chucked her cowgirl boot right at her mom, because mom refused to buy more Shopkins.

What does Mom do?

Whips out an iPad and some fruit snacks. Clearly embarrassed, totally outdone.

She bought the Shopkins.

Took that L.

My heart did not go out to her, honestly. In a time where t-shirts proudly proclaim our hot-mess-ness, and sharing "cute" stories of our kids' precociousness online and in person is the norm, this behavior is all but programmed. This mom was just suffering the effects of allowing this kid to behave this way over time. (I could tell it wasn't a new thing by how worn down the mom looked, and the smug grin on,the child's face when she got her "prize.")

We love to see little kids acting older, speaking like miniature adults, and throwing their sass and spice as they navigate the world.

*needle scratch*

This is probably going to sound judgy, but NOPE. WE (as in I, Tayé, ME) do NOT find sass appealing. I don't think it's cute. I think it is SAD.

Call me sanctimonious, or whatever helps you feel better, but bratty kids are just NOT adorable.

I mean, I GET IT. It isn't easy to mold a strong-willed little human. Kids have their own personas, from day one. Regardless of how we try to shape them, they are still their own people. I know this. And I'm not one of those moms who expects perfection. (I have a near-2 so I'm well-versed on this new wave of toddlers.)

Our babies now are speaking, thinking, understanding, and feeling way more, way more strongly, than we ever did at their age.

They are also getting away with more, and we (and by we, I mean you, because this ain't my deed) are recording, applauding, and screen-shotting their antics because it's the new thing. Never mind how it stunts them developing the right behavior patterns, or hinders them being ready for everything from the potty to preschool...its funny so we must encourage it. *smirk*

Confession: I'm not a hot-mess mom. There, I said it. I like to keep my proverbial and actual stuff together. I don't take pride in a messy house or eating takeout 5 nights a week. I don't cave to my toddler's tantrums OR my preteen's hissy fits. I don't shop to excess for my kids "because it was sooooo cute." I don't give them rewards their behavior doesn't merit (obviously based on age). I don't parade their bad behavior as the trendy hip. I like my house in order, and I like my kids to behave as if they were raised versus just growing up.

By the same token, I'm not some warden, drill sergeant mom. I get each kid's ins and outs. I know their temperaments. For example, my near-2 is in a precarious place right now as the middler. My preteen is reveling in being the eldest, the BOSS.

BUT...they know their limits. While we let them feel their feels and process their own emotions as they need to, we don't allow them to terrorize the household.

Have we taken away their spark, especially our girls?

No.

By not encouraging or applauding the wrong things, we quite blatantly encourage and foster their desire to do what's right.

Little girls(or boys) throwing fits isn't cute. It isn't endearing. It doesn't set them up for any particular success, except maybe at throwing worse fitslater when they are bigger.

All it does is show them that they can bully their way to the desired result--iPad time, an extra snack, more juice, whatever they're throwing a fit about.

I don't stifle my babies' emotions or their process to develop,g control over those emotions. Toddlers throw tantrums. Preteens,have their moods as well.

The difference between allowing and celebrating is clear, though. I ALLOW them to have some time alone, in their rooms, to be as mad as they want. If the scene in a store is too overwhelming for my toddler, I take him out to the car until he's calm. Period.

The thing the sassy is cute crowds miss is this: We, the general public, dont,want to hear your "sassy" kid screaming down the walls in a restaurant because you didn't give them their choice of dessert. We don't care to encounter them,at the playground, because you haven't taught them to play fairly. We don't want to see their current misbehavior celebrated on Facebook or Instagram.

This "sassiness" is actually brattiness. When you encourage that, you diminish that child's entire experience.

So yeah...we pass on that here in Castle Namastè. Discipline is absolutely a real thing, and we believe in it.

NOTE: The root of discipline is TEACHING...not HITTING. So don't let your misunderstanding upset you.

That's my box for now.

Namastè!

-- Tayé K.