#ProjectFREE #endMomShamingNOW

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof tonight.

Let's jump right in and get to brass tacks.

Mom shaming.

If you are a mom, you've been judged before. Perhaps you didn't breastfeed. Maybe you were more comfortable cosleeping versus cribbing from day one. Or you had a cesarean. An induction?

If you have made a choice for your child, someone, somewhere, has judged you for that choice. That's unkind, unfair, and ultimately unacceptable.

The biggest problem with mom shaming is, it doesn't come from anyone so often as MOMS OURSELVES.

Perfect, personal example: I am a Target afficionado. I spend many moments wandering through the "red store," usually with a kid or five in tow. On this particular day, I had Baby Namastè along. We were, on this day, testing out the Kiinde Squeeze bottle. Now, I am very much accustomed to strangers smiling, cooing, and talking to Baby Namastè when he is out. He is a social caterpillar and loves everyone.

I digress. I was wandering through the "red store" with my son in his comfy (our basket seat cover). He was happily "singing" and holding his Kiinde bottle.

A woman approached us and made a little small talk. Then she looked in disdain at the bottle.

"He is eating that?!"

I kid you not, I was lost for a second. It didn't immediately register. I'm not used to people accosting me over bottles in Target. I'm not used to people questioning me openly, because if I am nothing else, I am respected. Either that or people give a great performance to my face. In a world where children are starved, abused, and mistreated, this one was taking me to task over a bottle?!

"Pardon?" I was really thrown for a loop.

She then proceeded to regurgitate a bunch of anti-formula facts. I politely stopped her, mid rant.

"That is not your business, and that isn't formula in his bottle. An expert like you would know that. Even a novice can tell breastmilk and formula apart at visual comparison." Major NamasTAYE eye roll. (And I bull you not--you can look at a bottle of formula and a bottle of breastmilk, and you will know the difference. Not snark, just fact.)

She went scarlet and apologized, but the damage was done.

I wasn't even the least offended, because I truly believe a FED baby is best. I happen to nurse and pump, but I would lose no sleep if I had to use formula. At the end I want my son fed and thriving. Period.

That little incident annoyed me, but it hasn't been my common experience so it didn't bother me a lot. I shrugged it off and went on about my day.

But some moms receive that at every end. Their feeding, their parenting, even their clothing--all picked apart. It happens online. It happens within families. It happens within social circles! Everywhere we as mothers look, someone is waiting to condemn how we choose to raise and rear our children.

As always, I'm on my "make the world nicer" kick. I have a simple solution to mom shaming. STOP IT.

No, seriously. Knock it off.

I came up with an acronym that I hold near and dear.

I'm calling it Project FREE.

Find common ground.
Reinforce the positive.
Engage so all moms are included.
End the stigma of mothering differently.

FIND common ground. Even if a mom chooses a completely opposite path than you think is best, she is still worthy of respect. Don't pick out what's different, pick out what you have in common. REINFORCE the positive! Sure, she's got tattoos and pink hair. BUT...her toddler can read and count in German. She's rocking that mom thing, and if you take her on the strength of her positives (NOT saying her style is negative, by the way, but it could be negatively perceived by more conservative types) you won't even notice her appearance anymore. ENGAGE so all moms are included. Part of mom shaming, is exclusion. And mothering can already be the loneliest work of all. Go ahead, sit with that new mom at Gymboree. Invite her to the bleachers at the little league game. United we stand! END the stigma of mothering differently by simply NOT JUDGING. Every mom is doing her best to get through the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. What works for one may literally kill the next. Don't pick apart how she gets through, but encourage. If you can't encourage, keeping your mouth shut is always a viable option.

If we find, reinforce, engage, and end--the Mommy Zone will be shame-FREE.

We owe it to ourselves, to build ourselves up. Let's be FREE of mom shaming. Let's STOP.

I'm on Twitter and IG, and I wanna see your thoughts. Tell me what you're doing to end mom shaming. How are you, as the wonderful super mommy you are, effecting a change in this sometimes oppressive atmosphere known as Mommyhood. Hashtag it, #ProjectFREE so I can see them, or @ me. I'll be retweeting and reposting as many as I see. I hope I see lots!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

#projectFREE