Namastè!
I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof.
As a rule, actually a concrete ironclad law, I don't discuss any form of politics or religion here, nor do I allow that discourse in the comments. This is different, so go with me.
My children will be raised to see color.
They will observe and acknowledge skin tone in the same way they casually note hair color, shoe style, backpack style. In our family those quantitative factors are noticed but not dwelled upon.
I won't model or allow those quantitative factors to become qualitative--i.e., we do not take a person's skin tone or hair texture and form an overall opinion about them, nor will we use those same factors to decide how we treat them.
I think refusing to acknowledge color sets up a poisonous atmosphere. Baby Namastè's best friend shares February 28th, their birthday. They were born in the same hour. She is a darling little muffin with golden wisps of blonde hair, a flawless peaches and creme complexion, and striking blue eyes that put the sky to shame. Meanwhile, Baby Namastè is an equally darling little muffin with twirls of dark hair, a toasted coconut complexion, and darkest grey eyes with depth like the sea. I look forward to photographing him with his friend because while they are so beautifully different, they are a stunning complement.
He will definitely know that his friend is different. He will also know that it's part of her beauty, but not part of her spirit, her intelligence, her likelihood to be an amazing adult just as she is an amazing little girl. Baby Namastè won't be taught to say "my White friend" but he will know, quantitatively, that she is. He won't be taught to negate that very obvious fact of her identity, because it is unfair to both him and her.
Unfair?
Yes. Baby Namastè is undeniably a brown baby. Baby Peach (not named so for her skin, by the way--her mommy has called her that since before she was born, and if I recall correctly it is because she is a little Georgia peach) is undeniably not brown. Our family has a rich tapestry of East and West Indian roots, and we don't negate that. Baby Peach has her own lineage, European and some of that wonderful Louisiana culture. To not acknowledge these heritages and lineages would UNFAIRLY deprive them of the chance to learn and embrace their cultural differences rather than shy away from them. We would be foolish to sweep such beautiful diversity under the rug. Instead of making it taboo, we are encouraging it as another way to see all the beauty and diversity in the world. People are the best bouquet of flowers--all with different petals, colors, and sizes--our children should not be allowed to see only the green stems and leaves, the parts that "match."
There can be no unity without acceptance. (In this sense "acceptance" is simply acknowledging what is and growing with it rather than running from it.) Without acceptance there can be no unity. Without unity, we get the headlines and unrest of our current political landscape.
When Baby Peach is in our home (which will always be her home too), she will get to try curry, color mandala, and perhaps learn to say a few phrases in Tamil or Hindi. We will love, honor, and protect her little perfect self just as we do our own. I know that when Baby Namastè is in Casa de Peach, his second home, he will learn everything Auntie and Uncle Peach can teach, and I know he'll be treasured and protected there.
This is how we are making the world change.
The kids will see color for sure, as they are not blind. But by not making it a huge deal, a taboo topic, we are giving them the freedom to think beyond. We aren't putting gates around their thoughts about people, but we are guiding them toward making thoughtful connections.
When Baby Namastè sees me, he does not see ONLY my chocolate skin or the slight heterochromia in my eyes or my wild hair--he sees Amma. Mommy. He doesn't look at his dad and see only caramel skin or piercing eyes and dark lazy waves of hair like his own--he sees Appa. Daddy! He knows what we look like, but more importantly he knows who we are. That's how we want him to see everyone. Note their traits, but discern them by their character and how they treat you.
Color has nothing to do with character or how a person will treat them, as it is quantitative--but it does have something to do with who people are. Kids Namastè are being taught this precise notion.
They will SEE color but they will ACCEPT the person on a far deeper, much more qualitative set of merits.
I hope many many more children will know the same, because it is truth.
Namastè!
-- Tayè K.
❣❣❣❣
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