Namastè!
Another namasLesson coming!
Breastfeeding.
I can't teach you how, of course, but I can share a link to the single most helpful thing I ever read about it, as well as share how I stumbled through the beginning of my journey.
Note: Because this is the Internet, let me just say this--if you're not a breastfeeding mama and have no intention to be, take this with a grain of salt. A shot of tequila. Or kindly click the X. It's not a jab at your bottles, I promise.
Anyhoo...
Before I get into my story, allow me to drop this here.
The single most helpful breastfeeding post I ever read.
(Sixteen months in, this is still my go-to. The Mom in Me Blog has been my rock during these months, even before I actually started nursing. Do yourself and your nerves a favor--have a gander.)
Now...onto me. Tayè.
I knew I wanted to nurse Baby Namastè from the moment I saw those lines on that stick! I was obsessed with the idea of providing him that liquid gold, and I wanted to go as long as possible, but at least up til 12 months. I knew how to latch, how to buy a nursing bra, and what the major pump brands were. However, with nine and a half years between Kids Namastè, that was about the extent of my knowledge. After some in-depth chats with the Cuban (I call her that, and you can't. So don't. And yes--she's an actual LC.), I knew latching techniques, holds, and had a solid grip on most things the first few weeks can bring. I felt like I was well-prepared and ready, and that's a good feeling. Let me tell you, you need an LC who gives you that confidence.
As soon as we got a good look at our beautiful boy, he latched.
Early Days...and 3 Problems
First problem--his tiny little mouth! Also, he had a mild lip tie. His latch was a bit shallow the first day or so, but we plugged at it until he got it.
The second problem--our hospital recommended a pediatrician, and to avoid having to stay another day in the hospital, we agreed to let her examine our little bub. She immediately asked if we were supplementing. She was concerned that he might lose weight or end up needing a bottle anyway because of his lip tie. I declined the formula samples. (I did take a couple pacis though. Turns out those were golden starting at maybe 5 weeks? Pure clutch.)
One thing I didn't know much about was all the different teas, products, and even special cookies they make for breastfeeding women. All in the name of milk.
We don't need any of those things. All we need is skin to skin with Baby, and to feed baby on demand. Our supply is regulated in the first few weeks according to how often baby feeds. Supply and demand!
The 3rd problem? My LC. The hospital's LC would not teach me to pump. When I asked about it (I brought it to the hospital so she could show me how to use it.), she remarked that they usually only teach hand expression and that pumping wasn't good for the first few weeks. I knew that, but my situation required it.
I still had that heady confidence though. I decided to stick with my Cuban's advice and deal with whatever arose, as it arose.
It's Natural But Natural Ain't Necessarily Easy!
IT. IS. NOT. EASY.
For me, the hardest part was dealing with oversupply. My body makes way more milk than my baby needs, so it's nothing to pump out 9 or 10 ounces per boob even if he's nursed. That sounds fun but let me tell you...
No. Not fun. Nottttttt fun. Anything but. See, after the first few months, most moms can tick away their nursing pads. They can wear regular shirts again. They don't get engorged unless they miss several feedings.
Me?
Tuh.
These canons will blow in 2 hours and 59 minutes and 59 seconds. There is no 3-hour window. If Baby Namastè doesn't latch, the S2 or the Sonata MUST or I will leak twelve gallons from rock-hard cantaloupe boobs. It's quite uncomfortable, and quite inconvenient.
"But you never worry about milk!"
I also never worry about sleeping through the night. Potato, potahto. No complaints. I just wish people didn't immediately ask what I take or eat. I don't eat fenugreek by the bottle full (I actually only get the fenugreek in my food--we eat a lot of curry and it's a main ingredient.), down gallons of *insert magic color* Gatorade, or smash down sleeves of magic cookies. I also don't eat any more oatmeal, varied seeds, or other foods than I would normally.
The Low-supply Demon
Because I'm blessed/cursed with oversupply, I never really feared a whole lot about low supply. If anything, I kinda wished at times that I could somehow slack up just a bit without compromising my baby's feedings. A drawback of pumping 60 ounces a day (some days) is, breastmilk does not have infinite shelf life. A baby will only consume so much, after all.
I digress, of course.
Hubby Namastè hails from India. A remote village where midwives and wet nurses are still very much a thing, to be exact. There does not exist nearly as much pandemonium about low supply, because there do not exist any other options. The average family there cannot afford formula. Even if they could afford to spend a week's wages per can of powder, it is simply not promoted there, so they know nothing of it. All they know is that babies need milk, and the best milk is mother's milk. In the event a mother is unable to breastfeed--physically unable, and only about 2% of women are truly unable--a wet nurse would step in. For the rest, there are no teas, cookies, tinctures, or special diets. They just nurse.
Speaking of special diets! There isn't one. If foods and such are to dictate how much milk a mom makes, how would women in underdeveloped countries (I dislike the term "third world" for some reason) breastfeed? They barely have enough to eat themselves, so they certainly cant follow some diet of teas, cookies, and special Gatorade. In Haiti for example, nursing mothers subsist on mud cookies and whatever potable water they can find. No magic there. Don't get pulled into the hype.
THE PUMP?!
I detailed my journey with the pump here, and I spoke of my battle with D-MER. I since upgraded to this and this. I'm also quite proud to say I can hand express as well! While it's slower than a pump, it's a little easier on me some days. Plus it helps stretch time between nursing sessions when my bub is busy being a big boy. I also managed to find a bottle that he loved, because boobs aren't detachable and at about 8 or 9 months, Hubby Namastè started taking Baby Namastè out for father-son stuff. (Mainly Home Depot and Sam's Club, two places I'm more than happy to sit out!)
Just the Boob and the Babe
I had my best success of nursing when I tuned out all the contrary voices and just fed my bub on demand. We learned the breastfeeding fancy together--he learned to latch and I learned to read his cues. I had to stay confident, and stay strong in my resolve.
My goal was originally 12 months. Each time 3 months passed, I'd celebrate a little. As I said before, natural and easy don't always describe the same process!
I had a great support system, which I find to be crucial. Hubby Namastè was on board to help in any way he could. My brother even stepped in to look after Princess Namastè so she wasn't without attention during those early weeks. (Baby Namastè was born in February, so I wasn't out and about until it warmed up.) I kept in touch, and still do, with my Cuban. I surrounded myself with people who would respect my choice.
Put The Ten Toes Down
Most importantly, I limited the access of those who did not. In every family, someone either doesn't care about or doesn't want to understand the benefits of breastfeeding. The Fed is best! crowd.
Yes, fed is best. Especially because I feel like my son is being fed the best.
I would never walk up to a formula feeding mom and ask her all kinds of questions about her baby. I would definitely not shoot her nasty looks. I wouldn't imagine telling her to cover up or feed her baby in the car or a bathroom stall.
Know why?
One, I'm a decent human. Two, her baby's food is none of my business.
I had to learn to stand up for my baby's food, and his right to eat uncovered.
...and I have a solid grasp of these things.
I'm ready for all our future babies now! I'm anxious to apply this knowledge for myself, and willing to share with any moms who ask. Just as someone taught me, and took the time to answer my (which felt at times) silly questions.
My journey hasn't been exactly easy, but it's been worthwhile and hopefully it can help you gain your own footing. I know this isn't for everyone, just as formula bottles aren't for everyone.
Namastè!
-- Tayè K. ♡
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