Would YOU Move for A Better School District?

Elementary school is still a ways off for my younger bears, but IF they attend public school they will be set to attend in Georgia's best districts.

According to Niche, as well as data compiled by the State of Georgia, Buford City Schools is the number one district in the state. As Gwinnett countians, my babies can legally attend these schools.

Important note: HB 251 allows parents to send their children to any school in the district in which they reside--we hold residence in Gwinnett County, just outside Buford. We aren't "district jumpers," we just opted to live AND PAY TAXES where out kids would receive the best options.

Would you move to send your kids to a better school district? Have you done so before?

Gwinnett County has some of the highest property taxes in Georgia. While there are certainly enough amenities and attractions to make for an attractive roost, the fact remains that it is an expensive place to live. Especially when compared to other areas. 

But Gwinnett County is home to Buford City--the number one school district in the state of Georgia for many years now. 

When I wanted to possibly enroll the kids in public school, I knew it would need to be a better district. I was not going to have them pulling the weight of their entire class, nor did I want them in a school system where the kids only received the bare minimum. 

Nope.

Hubby and I bust our tails to ensure our children have every advantage. As Black and Brown babies, they will need it. 

So we invest in top programs, activities, and experiences for them to cultivate and expand their horizons. We wanted them to have more than basic reading, writing, and arithmetic, so we put together a curriculum that includes the core subjects as well as agriculture, music, travel, and even cooking. We want them prepared for everything. 

I know it sounds dramatic. But even preschools in New York are competitive! I know we reside in Georgia right now, but we have family and ties in NYC. There is no way we could allow the kids to simply squeak by academically here, because if we ever ended up having a semester or more in NYC, they would drown. 

And no, it isn't only about competition or beating every other kid at the preschool and elementary level. While we aren't sure if they will follow our footsteps and go to college OR if they will choose another path, we want them to have their choice of schools if they do. Filling out applications for college is a lot different when you have your pick, versus having to wait and pray you get in because you only have a few options. EVERYTHING is easier when you have a solid foundation. Even if they were applying for jobs, strong transcripts would be a huge plus. 

Not only that, the discipline it takes to achieve high academic marks naturally spills over into other areas of life. Our little scholars are also pretty good about taking care of their chores. 

So yes...it was worth it to move for a better district. For us, it meant a better life overall for our kids, because better districts create better opportunities. Their diplomas carry a bit of prestige, and that little extra might end up being the thing that carries them miles farther instead of just feet!

Not Bothered By My Age-Gap Kids, Only Your Meddling About It

Ahhhh humans can never be quenched!

Today I had lunch with the kiddos. We haven't been out much in recent weeks--I'm getting back to being mobile and they are settling into their new routine (school started and my home classroom is a tight ship!), so after we finished our work for today, we decided to hit up a little local wing spot.

The food in this place is the HITS! I usually order a Philly chicken and eat half, then take half home for later. The kids like to sit in there and bask in the adoration of the other frequent flyers.

It's usually really cool.

Today we went in and got our noms.

"Honey, that's a pretty baby!" Little older lady sat at the table next to ours and started cooing and playing with Tiger Lily.

"Thank you."

At this point, Princess returned to the table with Brother Bear. (They had been getting napkins and ketchup.)

"You have some beautiful children. And who is she?" Sweet lady smiled toward Princess.

"She's mine too, my first baby."

Now--there are almost ten years between Princess and Brother Bear. Less than three between Brother Bear and Tiger Lily. And of course, there is a bigger gap between Princess and Tiger Lily. Hubby and I are well aware of this gap, although people don't seem to think so.

"You mean to tell me you were almost free and then started over?!"

...yep. Someone should have warned Hubby and I before that it's against the law to have kids with a big gap. Gotta drop 'em all out immediately, regardless of your family plans. *eye roll*

Now, had it stopped there, there would be no story to tell. She moved on to greet another friend and the kids and I tucked into our food.

Except it didn't stop there. She continued chattering to her acquaintances--ABOUT ME.

And it really pissed me off. Because she was older, I didn't tear into her. YES I still have to feed Tiger Lily. YES I gave up certain freedoms. YES I am aware how much they cost and what causes them. *facepalm*

Things I wish I had been un-flabbergasted enough to tell her?

1. YES I am aware that I was "almost free."

I'm also aware that YOU are free--to keep your conjectures and your lips off my family dynamic.

2. YES I had my reasons.

In my case, it was wanting to have a stable home for them versus raising them alone. I wanted to get married, THEN give Princess a sibling or two. Maybe three someday. *shrugs*

3. NO I don't have a built-in babysitter.

Princess is just as much a child as her siblings. She is older, but she is not their mom nor is she responsible for their care. Does she play with them and keep them occupied sometimes? Absolutely yes. Does she have to? Absolutely NO. She is sweet with them and they are all definitely bonded despite the age gap, but she isn't a built-in caregiver, only their built-in friend.

4. NO I am NOT missing out on anything.

In four years my family has been on vacation maybe 20 times. WITH the small kids in tow, or me being pregnant, whichever the situation was. Was it easy? Nah. Was it as inexpensive as traveling kid-free might be? (I don't know, we have never traveled kid-free because it hasn't been our desire to leave them yet.) Our kind of travel is never inexpensive so we just bite the bullet and go where we want. As far as a social standpoint, my kids aren't the reason I don't have a more packed dance card.

People really need to spend less time worrying about how many kids others have or how they are spaced, and more time filling in their eyebrows properly. That lady analyzed my entire life in those fifteen of minutes but one eyebrow was arched and one was humped.

Sweep around your own brow line first, lady...

My Son Will NOT Be Subjected to YOUR Misdirected Misandry

My little Brother Bear had a playdate this weekend.

First, let me paint a little picture for you before I go launching into my rant. Our household is deliberately nice--as in, Hubby and I go out of our way to ensure the little humans see us being polite, courteous, and blatantly kind to each other. This isn't to say we are perfect. Y'all know better. This is, however, to say we make a concerted effort to show our kids that normal people don't go out of their way to be bitchy, rude, or hateful to each other, ESPECIALLY normal people who live in the same home. While disagreements aren't unheard of, we practice our manners consistently enough that I am proud to say our children do as well.

A boy's first example of everything, is his dad. Period. 

In Brother Bear's case, he sees his dad pull out chairs, open car doors, and take very good care of his family. Hubby is absolutely sweet to me and the girls (and definitely lavishes the same on our little Brother Bear, but this post is about why Brother Bear treats his friends the way he does.)

Brother Bear is just shy of four years old. He plays excellently with all kids, but he is usually outnumbered, as we live near more families with little girls than families with little boys. We don't teach him toxic masculinity (boys can only play with boys, blah blah blah) so he plays with whichever kid is available for a park run or Chick-fil-A lunch crawl. 

Because he is only three, I do not entertain ideas of how he might be as a boyfriend, or if he is interested in his playmates.

BECAUSE HE IS MY KID, NOT SOME RANDO ON TINDER.

BECAUSE I FIND PARENTS WHO DO PLAN/ENTERTAIN/CONJECTURE ABOUT THEIR KIDS' DATING LIVES THIS EARLY, INCREDIBLY CREEPY.

BECAUSE...and I cannot emphasize this point enough...HE IS THREE.

Anyhoo...

I made a new mommy associate recently. It began coolly enough. She has kids. I have kids. We both like to introduce those kids to other kids so the kids don't act like cavemen. *shrugs* Since Brother Bear isn't in tot soccer at the moment (season has ended), I have been creating more social outings for him to keep his people skills up and to keep him from running me wild with unspent toddler energy. 

Princess had a birthday party this past weekend, and I needed something for Brother Bear to do so he wouldn't interrupt her girls' night too much. 

My solution? Invite one or two of his little buddies over for snacks and games that afternoon. 

The kids, Brother Bear and a little girl I will call Swan, played nicely all afternoon. I was so proud of how sweet he was to her! He shared his toys and made sure she had enough snacks to eat, and even helped her wipe up her juice spill. I was BEAMING because our guy was behaving exactly as we have taught him to: treating his guest well and looking after them. He treated Swan as he has been taught to treat his sisters--and he was led by the example of how his father treats me!

They got along famously. (My kid can be testy so again, I was beaming inside!) Because they had played Mario Kart at some point in the afternoon, he called Swan, Princess.

Her mom and sisters (Swan's big sisters were there for my Princess, part of the girls' night I arranged the playdate to keep my son from interrupting) then had a grand time of pointing out how Brother Bear would face the wrath of their dad behind calling their sister a princess. Apparently he is one of those behemoth, unevolved men who still thinks it is permissible to rear up and roar at any boy who dares smile at their precious daughters.

All right, sir--allow me to check your nuts real quick.

1. My son is NOT trying to "holla" or "date" your daughter, because he is frickin' three years old. What he is doing, is treating her like a good friend, using his best manners and making sure she is okay.

2. He is in no way afraid of you--because his mama will rip your face off is you even breathe wrong toward him.

3. Please explain why you think it is permissible or acceptable for you to be projecting amatory ideation on toddlers. They are legit not even old enough for preschool but you are here worrying about her love life???

The mom and sisters probably meant it all in good fun. However I don't really find misandry all that funny. And I honestly know the dad has actual worries in the present moment, things that are a little more pressing than a situation he won't be facing for at least another ten years. According to the mom, it won't be a huge worry then because he isn't a consistent figure. 

At any rate, I had to ask her what made her so sure he would be interested in her kid IF he were old enough to be interested in anyone at all. (Again, THE KID IS THREE.) She was a bit offended. 

I legit didn't care. I was pretty offended when she made such an unnecessary observation. I told her she didn't need to project her own experiences onto innocent kids. If anything, her male should be glad someone is showing her how a good friend behaves, because she will surely encounter many who will NOT treat her as well. 

And no, we are NOT raising our son to be a casanova. We are raising him to be a polite, kind human, adding a little light to this dismal Earth! 

It is sad that people are so shitty these days that they cannot receive niceness without attaching unnecessary assumptions to it. As much as my boy likes hanging out with Swan, he will be spending more time with other friends because what he will NOT be exposed to, is her family's misdirected misandry. It isn't our fault they have encountered rude, mean males--and it is not our job to calibrate their compass. 

Mundan Ceremony: Tiger Lily's First Haircut

We took a BIIIIIIIIG cultural plunge this past weekend!

We decided to go ahead and give Tiger Lily her first haircut!

A Mundan ceremony is basically a baby's first haircut. Brother Bear had his, and now Tiger Lily can join the club.

A Mundan is not the average trimming of the ends. It actually involves shaving the baby's hair.

That's right, ladies and germs--a Mundan involves completely shaving the baby's head!

*gasp*

Before we ban me from the nice moms club, read on...

The Mundan ceremony is usually done in the first 31 days of life, (but we take a bit of creative liberty and just do ours within the baby's first two years). It is essentially the removal of the baby's "womb hair," which brings luck--and reportedly better, stronger, thicker hair.

While I know how hair growth works (shaving it off will not effect thicker hair--it just ends the breaking off that newborn hair is often wont to do, thus giving way to what I call the toddler hair--longer, and often thicker!), I also respect and immerse my family in his culture and mine as much as possible. While I will admit it was a little daunting to know my baby would be without her wispy curls, I was excited for her to have this cultural connection to our family, especially her grandma Ammaji.

Hubby and I are very keen for the kids to have as deep a connection to their Sri Lankan roots as we are to keep them connected to their Jamaican and American roots. It is important to us that they know who they are and where they came from. We don't want the schools or the world to teach them who they are--that is our job and we don't sleep at the helm.

Getting down to it, I know he expected me to flake out at the last minute. Even though Tiger Lily's hair has so far remained as wispy and fine as day one, I always adored those soft little twirls. As soon as she stopped snatching her little clippies out, I started putting a bow in her hair every day. Always coordinated to her outfit. I make at least twenty clippies per week sometimes just to keep a fresh rotation. If Brother Bear is any indication, she will have a glorious head of dark curls and twirls in just a little while and all those clippies would get a heckuva workout.

But anyway...

I did not flake.

Behold...

Our little unicorn currently has a peach fuzz where her mane was! 

Do we miss it?

No. 

Is she bothered?

She didn't bat an eye during the process, and she doesn't seem upset in the least even days later. 

Were we worried about someone shaving her hair while she is so young?

Again, NOPE. Hubby took care of the actual Mundan, and we invested in an excellent straight razor for it, as well as some ayurvedic oil to keep her scalp comfortable as her hair grows in again. (Regrowth is itchy enough--and since her hair is growing in as fast as Brother Bear's did, we knew she would benefit from a "soother.")

Why did we perpetuate a custom like this?

For the same reason other parents pierce ears or buy puppies for infants, or take vacations with kids who won't remember the actual trip...

...because she is our kid, and this is how our family works. We observe our customs and traditions just like other families observe theirs.