Sunday, November 10, 2019

Sleepovers? Hard Pass...

I usully try to limit the "I don't do *insert thing*" posts because they're generlly more inflammatory than anything.

I also assume people don't really care what I do or don't do because it doesn't affect them.

Ah, in a perfect world...

But let's get down to it.

I don't allow my kids to host their own sleepovers, nor do I allow them to attend the sleepovers of others. I would possibly venture to say there's exception for family, but we don't live near enough to any relatives that it would ever be a real issue. 

Yes, I attended them as a child. I was lucky to not be traumatized--I never suffered abuse or bullying at any of those few events. They are fond memories. However, people now are NOT like people when I grew up. (Or perhaps we are just hearing about it more due to the instant availability of news and a certain hyperawareness that accompanies parenting these days?)

I don't trust anyone to care for my kids as their dad and I do. Period.

The biggest issue for me?

When a child is visiting a relative, attending a playdate, or participating in a sleepover, they sometimes cry and/or want to go home. And you know exactly what people do.

"Oh come on. You will be fine."

Then the child is cajoled or bribed, or in worse cases guilted, into staying despite not really wanting to.

Now you've disregarded the child's feelings for someone else's comfort or convenience. *facepalm* You made them feel low for wanting to leave, which maybe made them stay in a place they were uncomfortable in, for no legitimate reason.

I really dislike the notion that it's rude for a child to want to leave a sleepover. If my child is in your house and wishes to come back home, I would be livid to find out you cajoled, bribed, or otherwise coerced my child to stay.

We are very big on allowing our children a choice whenever possible. If it's something we feel they can handle, we let them decide their paths. This is why you'll sometimes see Brother Bear wearing a hoodie and basketball shorts, or Tiger Lily will have a chicken nugget in her purse. (She has a purse to match every outfit--and a fixation with chicken nuggets.) There are no big consequences to either choice, so they can have them.

However we DO NOT feel they are prepared just yet to have an entire night away from home, in someone else's home, just to sleep.

I know sleepovers are full of games and fun, but a play date is enough games and fun for my kids right now. They can do all the best activities and then be costly tucked into their own beds, in the safett and security of their own home, with their own parents just down the corridor.

Which brings me to my next point...

I also don't host sleepovers at our home.

I love my kids' little friends as of they were my own. I enjoy them visiting and hanging out.

I just know they are the same ages as my kids--which means they aren't prepared to make a sleepover decision either.