... not difficult to do, but nearly impossible to have a peaceful home without.
For all my outspoken-ocity and brass, manners are a big deal to me.
Note: For the record, being outspoken or ballsy does not necessarily equate to being rude. Even as I'm making my opinions known, I still choose what I deem the appropriate time and place to share those opinions. That's tact as well as polite. Digression, complete.
A cornerstone of manners is gratitude. Gratitude itself cannot exist without humility. Neither is a congenital trait.
As you might know, 2015 rained its little piddle cloud on Family Namastè. We utook losses left and right, beginning with a fire that gutted our home and left us scrambling to put together some semblance of normalcy.
Because we had only the clothes on our backs, we had to adjust quickly. When I tell you it was difficult?!
We were insured--every loss was compensated. It was just hard to be thankful or even mildly grateful when we woke up that morning with a beautiful home and our own EVERYTHING, only to be left with nothing mere hours later. There were only a few items salvageable from that house. None of which made a huge difference besides sentimental value, to be honest.
... which is where my family and I had to be humble and show gratitude. We also had to toughen up a bit. While we don't love a particularly glam life (we have our moments), it felt like we got knocked down six or seven pegs.
Let me tell you--it is a beyond bitter pill to feel pitied. We've always worked hard for everything we have, and we've never taken handouts, so it was extremely hard for us to accept anything from our inner circle. We weren't being prideful peacocks...
...but to go from having our own things that we chose and paid for, to politely sifting though kind (and extremely generous--our circle is wonderful) donations for that day's outfit or shoes, was a really tough dose. I was heavily pregnant with Brother Bear too: enter, hormones. I cried way more tears than I care to admit. And I felt badly for doing so, because while we lost everything, we still had what mattered. We never wondered where we'd be resting our heads and we never missed a meal. We landed at this ultra posh spot in Atlanta, so I felt so convicted for weeping in my creme brulée.
The hotel room was super nice, but even the pretty views of Buckhead couldn't take my mind off the house on the mountain. And where would we even settle next?! I wanted our home, not someone else's. I didn't want to get used to new surroundings or new neighbors. I didn't want to be living in someone else's memories.
Again, I had to check myself. While I wasn't in my home, I still had one, or at least a base. While the kids weren't nestled in their own adorable bedrooms at night, they were sleeping in a safe, comfortable space. I wasn't whipping up my usual homemade meals and treats in my own beautiful kitchen--but one, I wasn't starving and two, it is seriously difficult to not enjoy resting your laurels in a place where practically any food can be delivered!
No, it wasn't a vacation. (You lose a bag on vacation, not your entire house.)
I had to get over myself and my plans.
The universe laughs at plans.
It's obviously a bit easier to look back on those days now. (And no, it didn't take us experiencing a season of loss for us to appreciate what we had or even what we rebuilt and have now.) In the thick of it, I had to count it all handled and keep my game face up because I knew our princess was watching, feeding off our reactions as she processed everything.
Sometimes people would remind us that it could be worse--we could be grieving loss of life instead of loss of items. We could be uninsured! It could be worse. Instead of weeping into that delicious dessert at the W, I could have been crying it out at the bus stop.
I didn't need those reminders. I just needed to decompress and process what was going on, so I could handle the needful.
Fast forward to now...
I'm definitely walking in my gratitude attitude.
It took me a long time. I had a lot of hurt to let go of, and a lot of unresolved anger to wade through. I hated feeling like I was being punished for trying--my husband and I had put in hundreds of hours and thousands on thousands of dollars to live where we did, as we did. We both worked our butts off. We spread good karma whenever we could, so it didn't make sense that we were in such a snowball effect of misery. Couldn't the rain cloud shift for just a moment?
It did.
Turns out, approaching things with gratitude has made the journey easier, even if the practice isn't.
When I'm inconvenienced, I still have to takea moment to refocus. I still have to check my collar when my patience wears thin. Lately I'm way more zen, partly because I've learned to have a chill pill.
Not an actual pill...just some gratitude.
Now...let me go exercise this gratitude attitude while I'm in traffic! I have to make a Publix run to stock up for the tot soccer pizza party. *heart eyes*
Namastè!
♡ Tayè K.
