Remembering, Sans Funeral

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof this afternoon.

My grandma took her last breath exactly eight days ago, on May 29, 2017. Memorial Day. Her homegoing services were Saturday, June 3rd, 2017.

We were with her for hours prior to her pasing, as we knew she was imminent. She passed peacefully--no gasps or struggles for that sweet last breath. Her face settled into a sweet little smile, and she looked as if she were simply sleeping. Sleeping and having a very pleasant dream.

After the shock of the phone call heralding her passing wore off, Hubby Namastè and I had to make a difficult choice. Would we bring Kids Namastè to the funeral?

We talked to each other.

We talked to Princess Namastè.

Princess is ten, and she has been attached to Grandma since she was a tiny baby. They maintained their close relationship even when we no longer lived in the same state, thanks to lots of visits and a sweet tradition of saying prayers together every night before bed.

We have never really followed society's rules when it comes to our kids. We do what's right for them, and at times that has meant bucking the norm.

I rarely reach for anyone's guidance besides Grandma, so I was a little lost about what I should do in this case.

Some kids are mature enough to handle a funeral service  and most babies won't remember.

...which presented an issue for us.

Princess did not want to attend  as she knew it would be open. She was okay with seeing Grandma, but she would not be okay seeing them close her for the last time. That would break her heart all over again, because it would really drive home that this was it. No more calls, hugs, or Popsicles on the front porch.

Baby Namastè, on the other hand, is only 15 months old. He would likely not be bothered, nor would he remember it enough to be saddened by it.

But he did know her face, and he would expect to be able to give her kisses and pull candies or the keys from her pockets. Obviously he couldn't do that at her funeral.

In the end, we decided that I would go as our family's representative, and Hubby Namastè would care for the kids. We all went to the burial (with kids in the car with Dad), and then we all joined my family for the repass at Grandma's house.

The thing we had to consider most was their readiness, followed by how well we would be able to attend to them in such a somber setting.

The service was absolutely beautiful. The music, the prayers, and the tributes were perfect for our sweet lady. She touched many lives, more than she would ever know I'm sure. She received a send-off fit for a queen.

But Kids Namastè weren't in attendance.

Instead, they will be helping me remember her and keep her legacy alive in other ways. We have adopted her classroom at the school where she taught Braille. We will be continuing support of her alumni and taking on some of her causes and charities.

At home, she's remembered with fresh lilies growing in our living room, the ones that sat with her at her homegoing. I'm currently assembling a memory book of her photos, quotes, and songs lyrics, as well as anecdotes about her.

It is heavy on our hearts that she died...but we cannot forget that she LIVED.

She led a long, beautiful life. She was a pillar of strength in her community and her church, and a living beacon of love for all she came across. She was accomplished, achieving more in one life than many could in ten.

While I don't think the funeral was the place for my kids at that point in time, I am actively working with them to effect not only her memory, but to be an example of what she taught and instilled--to walk the path she blazed.

She didn't have much sight, but her vision never wavered.

Namastè.

Tayè K. ♡