Potty Time!

Namastè!

I hope you’re experiencing copious amounts thereof this afternoon. We are on the cusp of a thunderstorm and while I don’t really love bad weather, I am hoping for an opportunity to sleep. (Day napping needs to be my new thing, because I am exhausted.)

Speaking of being on the cusp!

The buzzword around here?

POTTY TIME.

Baby Namastè, with his cute little self, is learning to go potty like a big boy now. He is making good progress! Thanks to my good friend Emma, I finally found some undies small enough to fit him (tinyundies.com)!

But let’s back up a bit. 

I’m not huge on giving advice but I had to throw my hat in the ring with this potty time thing.

Here we go!

As you know, Baby Namastè —I cannot call him Toddler Namastè; it makes it all too real that he isn’t my little newborn anymore!—is 15 months old. He can communicate, and he’s always learned things a bit ahead of the curve. He can, with good consistency, let me know he needs to void. He is still learning to speak words, but he knows how to project his body language and he knows a few baby signs! I figured, why keep him in diapers when he knows and is uncomfortable with it on his skin?

Now…I’ll walk you through exactly what I’ve done so far.

Old World Flair

Hubby Namastè has been preparing our little one for potty time since he was a few months old. In his homeland, it is nothing unusual to see infants fully potty trained before they reach a year old. At bath time, right upon waking, and right before being put to bed, Baby Namastè was held over the throne and encouraged to void. Sometimes he did, and we would always make a really big deal! (Positive reinforcement is everything to infants and toddlers; they live for our approval.) Even if he didn’t, he knew it was routine.

I thought my dear husband was just being a little extra, but it turns out Hubby Namastè was right on the mark. In other countries, elimination communication is the norm. Babies are kept on schedules and as a result, they void at regular intervals. When you already know your kid will defecate right after lunch, it’s easy to have him or her at the potty spot and let them take care of their business.

It seems a little extra to the uninitiated—but it’s quite common.

NOTE: Elimination communication has nothing to do with forcing the baby to go before he or she is ready. It involves teaching them their particular “potty language” (i.e. the inner and outer cues that lead them to voiding) early. If it isn’t your thing, it isn’t your thing—and that’s fine. There are enough things in the world for each of us to have two or three or fifty different ones! This practice originates in countries and regions where many Old World practices still reign supreme. Pair this with a possible unavailability of disposables or laundering and it should make a little more sense to you. Not everyone can click on Amazon or Walmart and have their Pampers delivered. Not everyone wants to!

Readiness

Readiness is a huge factor for potty time success. (I avoid the word training when I can, because he’s not being programmed, he is being taught!)

I knew Baby Namastè was ready for potty time when he began tugging at a diaper right before he soiled it. He was also wildly fascinated with the bathroom and demanded to be let in whenever one of us was using it. He always wanted to flush the toilet and say YAY!

Physically, he demonstrated readiness by staying dry for two or three hours at a time during his waking hours. He could take a nap and wake up dry. He could even go on shorter errands and come back dry!

Most importantly, he was able to sit on the potty. Both physically able to, and willing to. He would sit there and “read” a book. This was another crucial point: We refused to have him feel forced. Forcing a child into potty time usually does way more harm than good.

Willingness

While most big milestones are met with a little trepidation, potty time is a whole other ballgame for our little ones. It’s no wonder! Up til now, they’ve been free to play and explore and either Mommy or Daddy would always clean up their voids when needed. No need in stopping their games or interrupting Elmo!

Enter, potty time.

I knew my baby was ready for it based on what I outlined above. But the willingness, I wasn’t so sure about. Aside from our usual toilet routine in conjunction with his hygiene, we had never actually just let him sit on the potty. Since he is a very, very shy little bug, we weren’t quite sure how to approach it. We just knew we should probably strike while he had interest, because in my personal experience it is much easier to teach a young tot who wants only to make Mom and Dad happy versus an older toddler with his own agenda.

So…we decided to just grab a potty seat.

Shopping!

I got his potty seat at our local Babies R’Us. Despite researching a myriad of options online, we ultimately concluded that Baby Namastè needed to be included in the decision. After all, he would be the one using it. It needed to be a potty he liked. (Also, Hubby Namaste and I couldn’t have cared less—we just wanted to see if we could train him, and neither of us was particularly enamored with any particular chair. They’re all adorable!)

Baby Namastè chose the Fisher Price Learn to Flush potty seat caught his attention, and he walked right up to the model and sat on it. (He plays with several other Fisher Price toys in the Grow & Learn series, and the same voice sings the songs. His potty sounds like the app he plays on, so it was familiar and the songs kinda came from a friend.) He was sold, so we were!

I also got him disposable training pants (for on the go), new cloth diapers, and some little big-boy t-shirts. (The snaps on the onesies would make it a little challenging for him to get his pants down, and I didn’t want anything precluding his success. We grabbed Elmo’s Potty Time. Lastly, we invested in some good washcloths, hand soap, and a couple trinkets and treasures to reward his efforts. He likes Matchbox cars and Legos currently, so that’s how we motivatehim. Every week we will count up the squares on his potty chart and if he’s gone enough times, he gets a reward. We also give heavy doses of positive reinforcement, tons of hugs, and all the high fives his little hands can handle.

Note: I don’t reward Kids Namastè with candy, or food period. I never tie their achievements to something edible, because I believe it leads to possible food issues and body dysmorphia later. I don’t have it in me to set them up for that. When they get candy or a trip to their favorite pizzeria, it’s just that—a deviation from our normal routine. It’s not something they have to earn. We don’t celebrate with food, and we don’t put a ton of emphasis on it. It’s simply food—we eat and enjoy. Call it drastic if you will—but in this day and age when even elementary schoolers are committing suicide over emotional issues and bullying, I take no chances and cover all bases.

Digression!

When we made it back from our little shopping excursion, we were roughly seventy bucks poorer but oh-so excited for this new phase.

Introducing, POTTY!

Baby Namastè immediately took to sitting on his potty. He actually voided his bladder on his first try!

It was important to us that he not be afraid of it. It makes sounds, plays music, and lights up—while it was adorable in the store, and super fun to imagine him using it efficiently, there was also the very real possibility that it might overwhelm him.

When a kid is learning something new, especially as major as potty time, it’s important to consider their personalities and how they react to different stimuli and situations. Baby Namaste is super shy and reserved, so we always try to give him adequate time to warm up to a new idea or learning journey.

Thankfully, he wasn’t overwhelmed one bit. The familiarity of the character’s voice, plus the lights and other sounds, won him over yet again.

But WHERE?!

To date, he uses the actual toilet, in the bathroom he will share with Princess Namastè. But when he was still in his fledgling stages of this thing, we carried his potty seat from room to room. It was more important that he learn the how before we got into the normal where, know what I mean? Besides, we were confident that once he learned what happens on that potty seat, he would be comfortable doing just that regardless of where the seat was..

Our bathrooms were fairly intimidating to him. He is a small fry, so he cannot reach the sink, the toilet, or even the door knobs! The bathrooms are also prettylarge, and that posed a problem initially because he was actually afraid to go while sitting on the potty in there. (My bathroom was slightly better, but only marginally—it’s even larger than the kids’ but my toilet is in its own room.) He would sit on the potty as bravely as he could, but would immediately soil  is trainers once he got up.

We moved the potty to the living room. Problem solved. He could go potty on his seat like a big boy, but he didn’t have to be in that intimidating bathroom.

NOTE: He is no longer afraid of the bathroom. Mind you, he began his potty time learning shortly after turning a year old!

What About The Training Pants?

Baby Namastè has a very sensitive bum, which was another reason we jumped aboard the potty time train. He has broken out from nearly every diaper and wipe on the market. (As far as disposables, we had our best success with Pampers Swaddlers.) I’m talking big, red, angry-looking rash that broke my heart every time. The rashes cropped up shortly after his first birthday, and until we started taking potty time to a higher level of commitment, we weren’t able to effect consistent relief.

As such, we went in search of the best possible disposable training pants for when we were out. (At home, he wears a cloth diaper or nothing.) I work from home, so I have all the time in the world to make sure he gets to his potty on time and doesn’t miss a beat. I am also able to clear up any accidents.

We went with the Pampers originally, but they of course broke him right on out. (They are not white on the inside, and his little bum cannot abide the dye, we suppose.) Then we switched over to the Pull-Ups brand. No rash, but since I don’t particularly like disposables, we use them sparingly.

As far as fit, both brands are too big. The Pull-Ups are thicker, so they don’t fall off unless he soils them. Their adjustable sides are a bit hardier also, so we can undo them and kinda tailor them to fit his tiny little self. He is 32 inches tall and weighs 22 pounds currently. (Just to illustrate, NOT for comparison. He is healthy, just of a very slight build.) Since they’re primarily for outings anyway, it’s not a big deal. If the Pampers Easy-Ups didn’t break him out, we wouldn’t even have a preference and would just grab whatever pack we saw first.

As I said earlier, we really prefer and like cloth. I make my own for him, as well as purchase cute prints online. Cloth is not crazy absorbent, so he will feel the mess when he soils or wets himself, which leads to discomfort…which leads to…

How Does He Communicate His Need to GO?

Baby Namastè is learning new words daily, but he is so shy that sometimes he won’t even speak for me or his dad. He is just that reserved, and has been pretty much since he was born. However, he does let us know what he needs. My good friend Princess got me interested in baby signing before Baby Namastè was born. I kept up with it and worked with my little bear, and now he can actually tell me what he needs. His sign for “gotta go” is to stack and bump his fists. (Kind of like he is giving himself a fist bump, except it’s vertical and not the normal fist-to-fist.) He also grabs his ear if he needs us right away. (That’s his sign for “now, please.”)

I haven’t taught him the cutesy words like pee-pee or poo-poo. Toilet business in general is void. Urine is urine or elimination (as in, eliminate the bladder’s load), and defecation is either that or motion (for the motion of the bowels). He knows yes and no, so we periodically ask him if he needs to void, and if it elimination or motion.

NOTE: Another digression. In the world we live in now, kids have to be ready for this world on its terms, because it won’t meet them on theirs. I teach my kids the technical terms for their anatomies because if ever someone elected to bring harm to them, they would be much more credible if they knew a vagina or a penis instead of a wanker or a kitty cat. While wanker and kitty cat can be ambiguous, vagina and penis are set in stone to be only what they are. While I’m not so paranoid as to believe every person outside our home is waiting to take advantage of my kids or stela their innocence, I also never take for granted that people won’t do exactly that given an opportunity. SO I arm my kids with knowledge and confidence, and they know Mom and Dad will always have their backs. I know that seems extreme, but the world we live in does not really allow for much else. Raise them in truth and they won’t be afraid to confront a lie, is our motto. Besides all that, they have a right to know the correct names for their body parts.

Ah, back to it…just needed to clear that up and hopefully open your eyes as well.

Baby Namastè communicates his wants and needs pretty well at this point, so we just taught him a special sign for “gotta GO” and all has been well. It’s taken the guesswork out for me, because sometimes he may not need to go at the scheduled time but will need to go a few minutes before or after.  He can also sign “all done,” which works excellently for both potty time and pretty much everything else, from meals to swinging on the playground.

How DO You Stay On Schedule?

Our potty time dance isn’t so much a rigid clock schedule as it is a routine. With elimination training in a smaller baby or toddler, you teach them to go at certain times—or you teach them to go at certain intervals. We work at certain intervals, weaving his potty time around already-established hallmarks in his day. We go when he wakes, then brush teeth, wash faces, and have breakfast together. I try to have him go on his potty at least once per hour, and we never go longer than two hours without a potty session, even if we are on the road.

So it isn’t so much about the schedule as it is, consistency. We go regularly, and he relies on that regularity as he is learning. Toddlers like routines, regardless of how they may buck them. They need structure. So while we don’t go potty precisely at nine, ten, elevenses, we still go very consistently. Consistency is EVERYTHING. Even on the days where he seems to have more accidents or bucks the potty (as he sometimes does—he is still a toddler, and he is still prone to toddler behavior!), we have to keep the routine.

Since he is having so much success with this routine, I will be purchasing him an extra portable seat so he can go when we visit our friends and relatives. Next to consistency at the top list of must-haves, is familiarity. We try to keep his routine as familiar as possible, even when we are not at home.

How Did We Brace for Those Setbacks?

What we as parents often overlook is that while the kids may very well want to hold their voids for hours, they simply cant. Their bladders are tiny. Their bowels are too! Add to those tiny systems, the uncertainty of life’s trajectory some days, and you have a recipe for accidents, setbacks, and a desire to “just stick to diapers for now.”

Above all else, potty time requires patience. Sometimes near-saint levels, especially when the kids insist on rolling off the toilet paper or washing their hands twenty-eleven times before exiting the bathroom.

We knew going into this that our child is fairly young to be mastering such a skill. That gave us a confidence boost. Our little sprout is taking on a big-kid task even though he is but a wee sprout!

But oh, we have to temper our excitement and desire to be done with it. As well as he is doing, it is still a good bit of work—extra work that doesn’t come with diapers. We also have to make sure our expectations don’t supersede his abilities. He’s doing great, and he’s learning so much, so quickly—but we must always keep at the front of our minds that he is a little 15-onth-old baby. He isn’t really a baby, but he isn’t a big kid either. He is in a weird little middle ground where his feelings are very big but his outlets are still very small. When he has a tantrum about not making it in time, or because he simply doesn’t want to stop playing to come go potty, we don’t label him s difficult. He is growing through a pretty critical stage. The toddler years are in the middle of some of the brain’s most rapid development. While Baby Namaste is still pretty small, he is still growing faster now than he will ever again in life! (All toddlers are, so cut them some slack. They can’t help but be bratty.)

Sometimes this little guy wants to assert his personhood. Unfortunately sometimes that assertion comes in the form of potty regression or refusal to go. We’ve avoided regression so far but there are times when he outright refuses to get on his potty seat. (And he can and does say a very strong “NO.”) We just let him work his feelings out, provided he is respectful (well, as respectful as a toddler can be—no hitting, no adjectives, and no throwing/kicking things).

Setbacks happen. But those setbacks aren’t the entire potty training book—they are simply a page. At worst, a chapter. All in all, we take a laid back approach because this isn’t something he has to learn in five minutes. If we are patient with him, he will in turn be patient with himself. That patience works out to fewer tantrums, meltdowns and hissy fits, and I am all about fewer tantrums, meltdowns, and hissy fits.

Nighttime???

With daytime proficiency comes nighttime proficiency. If he wakes at night for a rare nighttime nursing sesh, he goes potty immediately following. A child who has mastered keeping himself unsoiled all day will naturally adapt and stay unsoiled at night, but it takes them some time. Since we are still mastering daytime, nighttime isn’t even on our agenda yet. Although he has woken up dry a few mornings, and is beginning to do so more often as we press forward, it’s nothing we push.

What we do try to remember is, limit those nighttime fluids! You cannot expect a child to stay dry at night if they are still going to bed with a cup or bottle. It doesn’t matter if it’s water, breastmilk, or juice—those liquids are going in and will definitely be coming out. IF for no other reason than it isn’t good for their teeth (or your wallet if the price of diapers is oppressive), remember this: When a baby is old enough to sleep through the night (a solid 5 to 6 hour clip), they no longer require a bottle overnight. A toddler who is learning potty time, definitely does not need a big 8-ounce bottle or cuppa, because it is a given that they will either need to be woken up (you brave soul, you) or they will void.

How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Take?

I don’t have a time schedule. I want him to master it fully. I don’t believe it will take more than another month or two, but I’m not hanging my hopes on that. I’m taking this all one day at a time. Or better, one potty session at a time.

How DO We Make It Interesting and Engaging So Baby Doesn’t Hate It?

All kids have their preferences. Baby Namastè likes songs and music. While he is sitting on the potty, we sing little nursery rhymes or I’ll talk to him sing-songy about what’s in the bathroom. I also just talk to him, and tell him what a smart little prince he is. We count the marks on his reward sheet too, which helps him stay motivated and excited both about this new skill and about his prizes!

…

All in all, potty time teaching is either as easy or as hard as the child involved makes it. My son makes it fairly easy, but I believe that’s due in part to him being eager to learn everything he sees his big sister do. He wants to be a big boy, so we tap into that when he decides to be difficult.

The only actual advice I have?

Know your kid. Know their patterns and routines about voiding. If you take them to potty consistently in regard to those patterns, you can’t miss.

Don’t compare your kid to any other, not even their siblings. Each child is different. (And if you’re a social media mom, DO NOT feel pressed to exaggerate your child’s abilities OR play them down. Either way you’d be lying, and that’s just sucky. The people on those sites should affect no portion of your self-esteem, and this journey is about your CHILD, not likes and double taps. Get perspective.)

Above all, STAY CALM and STAY POSITIVE!!! There will probably be messes. A soiled diaper or underwear is not the end of the world. If it’s too precious and pricy to allow for a child’s innocent mistakes, it’s probably not the thing to dress them in as they learn to stay clean and dry. My son has many adorable outfits, both expensive and inexpensive, but as we help him learn to go potty, he is always dressed in something comfortable and easy to get him in and out of. T-shirts and basketball shorts, or unfussy pants that aren’t too complicated to unbuckle and pull down. This isn’t a moment for fashion—it needs to be a moment of making sure your child is literally dressed for success. (NOT bummy—just simple. Exactly why does a toddler need to be in a six-piece outfit anyway?! My opinion, let go of your pearls.)

…*le sigh*

It is time to go potty here in Castle Namastè, and I think my little guy needs to void.

Best wishes on your potty time journey!!!

Namastè!

Taye K. ♡