Honor.

Namastè!

Good early Saturday morning to you!

I'm as up and about as I can be. *wink* Mornings are my most productive time but not necessarily my fortè. I'm more an elevenses kinda Queen. (Yes, I refer to myself as Queen. Capital Q. You should too. Honor and respect yourself and others can't help but fall in line. If they don't, you will have no qualms about banishing them.)

I just had the wonderful privilege to honor my husband on his birthday the other day, and the most awesome part of that was his reaction. He was pleased as punch. His birthday fell on a week day, and he wasn't expecting anything. He was also heading out for a business trip that evening, much to my dismay.

But! There was no way I would let him leave, uncelebrated. I don't care that he'll only be gone a few winks. (72 hours, 26 of which have passed.) Nope. I put together a quick version of the dinners we love--while I still made his favorite foods, we didn't have our usual cadrè of friends over to help fete the occasion.

I was a little nervous that he might not feel as festive due to the trip, and not wanting to go, but he was all for it.

...alas, honoring him has nothing to do with birthday dinners and adorable selfies. It has nothing to do with cute anecdotes and our ongoing crushes. (Love is mandatory, but couples who like each other manage to fare a bit better for a bit longer, in my opinion--I'm no expert though.)

No.

Honoring him and our family goes a bit deeper. Go with me a second, this is good. A veritable gem!

As I've become a more willing user of social media, I notice something missing for a lot of people, and that is their honor.

Online is a wonderful and terrible place. It's wonderful because a person can be whomever and say whatever they want, under a shield of anonymity--and it's terrible for that same reason. I've encountered people who have a different persona for each site they frequent. I've encountered people who paint their lives as either horrible or amazing, all to garner attention.

No honor.

The saddest sight on any site for me is those who refuse to honor their families.

Family is both choice (marriage, adoption, kindred spirits) and default (blood relation), for clarification. I don't use the term "friend" often or freely because that makes a line of demarcation. No friend zone in my heart, so I describe my tribe accordingly.

Slight digression.

The Internet is a funny thing indeed. I always say, it isn't anyone's "safe place." It should not be where one goes to trash their husband, kids, or anything that they can rectify better with face to face communication. Personally I would never speak ill about or broadcast the failures or shortcomings of my family online, or in any gossip circle.

No, I'm not a sanctimommy. No, I'm not painting my life as perfect. No, I'm not delusional. (I don't have a blogger image to uphold--you get me on this site 24-7, thorns and all! I bring you my real, my raw.)

I speak life, positivity, and prosperity over my family (I include my dear friends in that "family" thing) because I'd look like a fool otherwise. Why keep people around me if I cannot speak positively of them?!

Now...before someone goes putting on their offended pants...I didn't say I don't vent. I didn't say I don't get aggravated, annoyed, or even fed up at times with the ones I love. I never paint my husband as a saint, and I never insinuated that we are a perfect couple.

Nope.

What I am saying, without stammer, stutter, or trepidation, is that I honor him and our family.

When I have issue or take offense with him, I don't run to strangers for salve and sanction. I don't run down his misdeeds or mistakes before a court of peers in which he cannot defend himself. I do not put his shortcomings out for a bitter brigade to salivate over.

My children? Oh, mama only speaks kindly of them. Naturally they aren't perfect saintly angels--they are still growing and learning. Their achievements aren't for my glory. Their mistakes and shortcomings aren't mine to gossip over.

This isn't to say I don't have a circle of people I seek the counsel of when needed. I have my vents and brags just like any other mom and wife.

The difference is, my family's honor matters greatly. I will never intentionally tarnish their honor. I will never abuse their honor for my own gain. (What gain is there to trashing your loved ones anyway?)

Yes, we all talk and vent. We all like to chew the proverbial fat, shoot the shiggity, with our circles. We all do. Period.

But for me, preserving my family's honor is more important than likes and comments.

Yes,  you will get the real Tayè on social media just as you will in face to face interaction. No, I will not practice or perfect any particular persona--I'm a real woman who eats real food, has real feelings, and occasionally uses real F bombs. I'm a real writer, a real comedienne, and a real confidant.

I also make a real commitment each day to preserve and add to, real honor.

It isn't about being perfect. It's about not trashing or degrading what's near and dear to you. It's about speaking life and prosperity over who and what you love.

Forget an image. Honor is who and what you are, as well as what you do. There's no separating or compartmentalizing that. It's either in you--or it needs to be.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡