Namastè!
I dropped the "namas-HEY." It didn't feel right.
In recent months I've also dropped social media. My IG and personal FB have not gotten love lately, aside from sponsored posts and appearances. I hate to know anyone would be worried on my account...but I also hate feeling obligated to the illusion "online only" friendships foster.
NOTE: I'm super grateful to have bonded and shared my journeys with my tribe. I love swapping stories and experiences. Not a single tribe member could or would ever be discounted or disposed of--but when I realized I needed more healing than a group chat could provide, I also realized I needed to do so completely removed from the pressure of checking comments/messenger/DMs and bouncing ideas off people who were probably as far up NOPE creek as I.
So...if you're still inclined, here's that ten.
10. I was running out of pleasant conversation.
I really ain't the most social creature. I am not at all a butterfly, but instead some weird, always-sleepy moth. Which means I don't always have the energy for the witty banter I like to engage in on my best days. When I'm tired and don't feel like pretending or seeing past my discomfort, I withdraw. I don't apologize for this...but I do take the lumps for it.
9. I was tired. Really tired.
I manage the entire Namastè household because the Hubby works 16+ hour days. Yes, his schedule allows me to be the WAHM I so love being...BUT I also get nowhere near enough rest. I work also--from freelance writing to running the salon to dealing with the farm--and it isn't some glamorous affair. My work isn't JUST a hobby turned profitable.(Although how lucky am I?!) It's draining. Add to that my family responsibilities, and my own 16+hour days are as exhausting as his!
...but, to quote one of my anchors, the law isn't forcing me to take 3 breaks. I'm not guaranteed a lunch and smoke. (In my case the smoke would be "eat chocolate" but still...) So I have gradually stopped forcing myself to get things done. I quit when I'm tired. Social media made me tired...So, I quit for a while.
8. There are other ways to keep in touch...
Facebook and Instagram are convenient. Popular as heck. However, I find that it's quicker to call or text a person than it is to send that "call me" text or message and then wait for the response.
I don't randomly offer my number because people are and can be REALLY weird...but I'm not opposed to a good gabfest every blue moon.
7. Sleep is life.
If you'd ever had a newborn and a toddler, or a newborn, or a toddler, you know this. I'm not always down to be social but I promise you I will nap anyplace, anytime, with any reasonable accommodation. My current go-to is my closet, because no one interrupts a woman in the closet.
6. Iron sharpens iron...but I've been marshmallow.
Know what iron does to marshmallow?
Crushes. Cuts. Smushes.
Yeah. I didn't need any of that. While most people aren't exactly out to break others down, anxiety and depression are funny creatures. By funny I mean, "the world is closing in yet I must fold these towels because I'm trying so hard to function today," not "that's hilarious, we must laugh til it hurts." Laughing only hurts when it's good, or when it's forced. Mine would be forced, and I don't like forced.
When I can't be the right kind of contributor to a situation, I step aside. I can't help anyone else when my own hands are tied. Rather than pour from an empty vessel...you know the rest, because I've mentioned it before.
5. I miss the not-so-old-but-still-somehow-distant days of friends meeting up to have coffee or pizza, and actually TALKING.
I know, I know...being mom/employee/wife/saver of worlds/greatness doesn't leave a ton of time to just veg out.
But I'm really jonesing for that classic friendship vibe. It isn't present on social media. Social media doesn't compare to actual presence, and it often leaves us all feeling a little livelier the when we log in if we are completely honest.
4. Aside from my blog work, I don't have much to talk about.
I used to spend a lot of time curating posts. Is take the best pictures, and write the wittiest or most insightful captions I could conjure, and hit SEND.
...then those perfect posts would just sit there. *chuckles*
But when I have the time and inclination to open up and share an unfiltered slice of life, I get genuine feedback. My "few" words don't limit me unless I water them down by making a lot of noise on social media when I'd really rather be quiet!
3. I value our privacy a lot more since the blog and my kids' little projects have taken off, so I don't share as much.
I have never been a tell-all type of girl. I like to keep some mystery for myself, a piece of me that Instagram, Facebook, and even this blog don't get.
2. Not everything that happens, needs to be publicly hashed...and I get to decide the pieces of our life that do get publicly hashed!
Because of my semi-reclusive tendency, I like to go offline, off the grid, when something big is happening. I like to process things fully before (and as I decide if I will be) presenting them for social media to dissect. That's why I appear so even! By the time something makes it to you, I've already been up, down, and all around it and I'm comfortable sharing. I'm comfortable entertaining opinions, whether they be for or against.
Mainly, I do so to make sure our life stays OUR life. Some things just don't need to go beyond the house, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. In our case, it's generally good.
1. It is a huge relief knowing I run my social media accounts, not vice versa.
When I created my blog and its accompanying pages, I knew it would be time-consuming. I knew I'd have to spend a fair amount of time making content and curating posts to draw and keep my audience, as well as attract sponsors and cultivate opportunities. I was well-versed.
I also knew I wanted to walk the thin line between really good blogger and PROFESSIONAL blogger. I wanted to be good enough that big companies would work with me...but stay small enough that I could go to Wal-Mart and be unnoticed. That meant I had to write. A LOT. And WELL.
But since I'm not a slave to my online presence, I'm able to carve out a little hybrid existence between planes. I benefit greatly from interacting with people from every corner of the world...
...and now, I'm ok NOT interacting as well.
For a little while I enjoyed the constant buzz. The nonstop notifications. The ever-present messenger dings.
Now I enjoy the freedom of enjoying it without commitment. I log in today and maybe won't log back in until June. It's all MY choice, NOT the stipulations I allowed my stats to force on me before.
It's freeing, in this weird way.
...
My anxiety isn't directly caused or exacerbated by social media itself. (It is postpartum anxiety.) Aside from it being one more thing to tick off my to-do list, it doesn't bug me.
I just currently really dig and like offline connections. Conversations without acronyms. Actual human face to face interaction. Real-time reactions and facial expressions. Real hugs!
Sometimes we all need that.
Namastè!
-- Tayé K.
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