Schedule? YES PLEASE.

Namas-HEY!

 

I hope you’re having a wonderful year. My family is awaiting something amazing. Also I just couldn’t wait to put 2017 in the rearview. It was a hard year for us in that same way that chewing glass shards and tinfoil is hard.

 

We have only a few weeks left with a one-year-old! Our little guy will be two soon. I’m so not ready but at the same time he has developed by leaps and bounds and I can hardly wait to see what he will accomplish next. He is talking so well and I promise, he learns something new every day. Right now we are doing a lot with colors (all those blocks definitely helped me come up with a curriculum of sorts—he brings me his blocks and we talk about colors) and animal sounds.

 

His schedule seems to be keeping those terrible twos at bay so far.

 

I know, I know. Schedules are for moms who “have time.” Moms who can tie their own day around a toddler’s whims. Most of us hear that word schedule and automatically think, NOPE. Not for me.

 

I used to, also.

 

My son has been in a routine since he was born, but it was set mostly to his hunger. I fed him on demand, and with feedings came diaper changes and naps. When he was tiny, that was all enough. Alas, now his favorite food is not breastmilk, and he spends his days playing and learning. Getting into things is high on his priority list also. We needed to get him on a program of sorts…

 

Without some structure, a toddler will act out. (Big kids will too!) They need the safety of knowing what comes next, and the security that comes with their days following a certain order.

 

Getting our little guy back on program has been a lifesaver recently, as he’s been a little crabbier and clingier than usual. (Kids can sense change!) Because he knows the general flow of his day, he is a lot more comfortable. He eats, naps, plays, and bathes around the same time each day. His temper is a lot less “oh em gee, why are you angry now” and a lot more, “Yes, let’s read that book and then have snackies!” It is a huge relief to kinda have his little world on a set axis so to speak. He knows when things will happen, and it makes those transitions from one activity to the next way more pleasant.

 

Lie and say it isn’t easier to deal with a pleasant toddler. I double-dog dare you.

 

Like most families, we have a lot going on. Hubby has a crazy work week, and since he’s a very involved dad (whom the kids will run slap over, because he’s also a very indulging dad), we desperately needed some cohesion. Our schedule isn’t exactly airtight, as we have some days where it isn’t possible to keep a rigid routine. Hubby sometimes has the kids out, or they may be with their aunt and uncle, and those differences can skew things a bit.

 

Our big boy wakes up at 8 each morning, and has his hygiene and breakfast. (I like to give him a quick wash over in the morning when I brush his teeth—Dad doesn’t do the wash over but puts him in the shower.) His mornings are kept fairly quiet. Library trips or calmer activities at home.  We set the pace for morning to be quiet because that’s also typically my errand time.

 

He gets his first snack around 10 am. I keep his snacks healthy and light—fruit, yogurt, smoothies, goldfish crackers, and sandwich quarters are his favorite. A common cause of tantrums is low blood sugar! When a toddler’s blood sugar drops, they’re naturally more cranky.

 

Example: My guy eats lunch around 12:30—that’s a whopping four hours after breakfast. He isn’t a baby now, and is always on the move. It probably takes no time to burn off his oatmeal and fruit. A few hours later, he is hungry again…which can quickly turn to HANGRY if we aren’t mindful. A hangry toddler is that screaming, whining, demanding little urchin the terrible two legends sprang forth about.

 

After a snack, we move into the higher energy activities. He rides his trike or drives his car around a bit. We do block towers and toddler yoga. We play moving games like Simon Says and Mother May I. All this helps build his appetite for lunch, as well as burn off that good old toddler energy.

 

Lunch happens around 12:30. We eat, wash hands and faces, and have a story or maybe one of his DVDs. After lunch comes a nap, so we keep it kinda chill.

 

Nap or quiet time lasts about an hour. (He’s slept up to two hours, but has lately weaned himself down to ninety minutes or so.)

 

After the rest period, he hangs out and plays with his sister. (She generally finishes up her school day around 2 or 3—her home schooling is another reason we keep mornings quieter.) They ride bikes, play games, and annoy each other until dinner, which happens around 5.30 or 6.

 

After dinner, we all hang out together. It isn’t a structured time, just family time. Usually no phones or other distractions. Hubby is usually home, and the kids get to have time with him unless he’s called back to work.

 

Baths happen at 7. After baths, we read. (I read with and to them every night, even if I have to do so by video chat!) The book is usually one of the calmer selections. Something he can talk about or point out pictures (his current faves are doggies and mommies) but not something that would have him too wound up for bed.

 

We try to always put my little bear down around 8. He usually falls asleep after his book, especially if it is Clifford or his Baboochi book.

 

I used to be that mom who thought moms with schedules were too controlling. I used to chuckle inwardly when I heard them say things like “naptime” and “snack time.” In my own little world, those things didn’t mean anything. But then again, I was a brand new mom and only had my princess to look after. If she didn’t have a nap on time, I could easily adjust.

 

Fast forward: As a mommy to more than one, I live by the schedule (and my toddler occasionally dramatically “fake dies” by it). I am homeschooling my princess, and keeping the little prince on a schedule means I have enough time to really focus with her—and also him. By keeping a routine in our home, each child is guaranteed the amount of one-to-one they need. For example, my princess goes to bed a half-hour later than my prince. That’s an entire 30 minutes to talk, paint nails, help her choose an outfit, or help with her hair. She generally wakes up a little earlier than he does, which allows us another chunk of girl time in the morning.

 

As our family grows, we are figuring and smoothing everything out. The schedule certainly helps. I now know those scheduling mamas weren’t crazy. Nope. They were right on the money. Yes, it can really dampen the spontaneity. (But with kids, what is ever truly spontaneous anyway, other than tummy viruses, tantrums, or those “kids say the darnest things” moments?)

 

My days are not really wound around my kids—I have figured out a way to kinda “braid” my days into theirs so we’re wound around one another!

 

Also…sick bonus: Each child is guaranteed to be in bed by 8.30—can we say SCORE?! After that time I’m free to have an uninterrupted bath or shower. I can catch up on my serials or I can sleep.

 

I know number 3 will disrupt that me-time royally but for now I dig it.

 

Namaste!

 

--Taye K.