No, She Doesn't Babysit...

I was just talking about the age gap between my kiddos in my last post. Which always brings about the question of...

Is Princess required to help look after the little ones?

While 3 kids hardly throws us in the lineup of big families, we are still formidable in size and workload and I would be a big fat liar if I said I didn't need an extra set of hands on deck some days just to get through!

But no.

Princess is not that extra set of hands.

Our first little lady is turning 13 in September. She is learning the basics of driving, along with managing money and time & taking care of her own basic needs. (She can do her own laundry and make simple foods for herself, and look after her own hygiene.) She knows how to take transit (although she has never been allowed to alone or actually needed to) and she knows about safety.

Princess is, in a word, amazing!

Princess is also still a kid.

She is a little girl still.

She is not responsible for looking after her siblings.

Does she help out? Of course. She reads stories and helps out with feeding time. She plays with them. She watches over them if I need a shower break or I'm cooking or writing. Despite being a kid herself, she truly is good with them and she typically does whatever she can to help our days go smoothly.

But again--she is still a kid.

That means it isn't her responsibility.

She does have a duty to be a good role model to them. She should be one of their main role models because they look up to her.

But she's not their junior mother.

Don't misunderstand here--she does help care for the little ones. She enjoys it. They are like little dolls to her! She dresses them and plays with them, and then she returns them to me. *chuckle*

But she's a little doll herself, and we don't saddle her with full-on responsibility for the little ones.

I want her to enjoy her childhood too. She has roughly 5 years left before she's 18--then comes a few years of junior adulting before life slams her full throttle with bills and responsibilities. As long as she keeps her grades high and behaves well, we will take care of the rest until after college or job training.

As for the little ones, they aren't hers to deal with aside from simple sibling care and concern.

We refuse to steal her childhood, years that should be carefree for her. Years that she can never recreate.

And no, I don't think it is a bad thing for an older sibling to look after their younger siblings! It isn't stealing their childhood if it is an occasional thing, or even a regular thing as long as the elder child's privileges are commensurate with gheir responsibilities. We simply refuse to make it such a regular requirement that the little ones think they have three parents. And we especially don't want Princess to feel like she has two toddlers.

Also, making the rewards commensurate with the responsibility would be tricky because on the tense days, little kids can drive you to wine.

(Not me--I hate wine. Just illustrating based on the current marketing trend of wine everything aimed at moms.)

She doesn't babysit. She isn't a junior mom.

She's just a kid herself.