The Correct Way to Post A Missing Child

Namastè!

I'm still up, y'all. I legit just closed out my last post with a drowsiness and a hopeful heart to catch the remaining 28 of those ever-elusive 40 winks.

Ain't happening just yet.

Piggybacking off what I was talking about earlier (read here)...

It was a harrowing experience when I dreamed my baby was missing. I can't really imagine the terror that goes through a parent's mind when their baby is actually missing.

Social media is an amazing tool. We can share info with hundreds or even thousands of people with just a few clicks. When a child is missing, the phone network has nothing on the spread power of social media--when it is used correctly of course. That power lies in numbers. There are billions of people on Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram alone. That staggering number increases exponentially when you count Twitter, and Reddit. Factor in the special interest sites like Tumblr and Pinterest and you have a veritable explosion of active users who are excellent at relaying and reposting everything they come across.

Make that power, your power.

When a child is missing, seconds count. You need their info out there, and it needs to be spread far and wide. Every set of eyes needs to be on alert.

However...it also needs to be correct.

Parents panic when their children go missing,  and that is 100% understandable. Expected, even! In the rush to get those babies' faces and descriptions out to whoever could possibly help bring them home, sometimes things aren't accounted for in the releases.

Details are crucial. I can only imagine the terror and actual physical pain that grips a parent when their child can't be located. Howecer, information is key. When creating a post for social media, we need to be thorough.

A missing child (or person, period) post needs to include the following:

☆ SHARES, NOT SCREENSHOTS.

If Facebook is your chosen medium of informing, please create a public post. Why? Even if the rest of your page is private, that public post can be shared. If people have to screenshot your missing person post, they can only share the screenshot--not any updates you provide.

☆ Up-to-date Photo (seriously, make it as current as possible)

If your child is ten, have a photo of them at age ten.

☆ Name

Spelling and pronunciation.

☆ Nickname

If you call the child by a nickname and they would be frightened or would not respond to their given name, make this clear. (Especially in cases of children with a deficit.)

☆ Last Seen (time and date)

Time can be approximate of course, but you need to have at least a time frame.

☆ Area

Where was the child? "At Walmart" is too vague, in my humble opinion. What side of the store were they on?

☆ Seen with?

Was the child alone, with friends, with family? (Especially of note for older kids, the tweens and teens set.)

☆ Contact information for involved law ebforcement agencies, as well as parents and guardians.

Should someone have information to relay, they need a direct contact. Law enforcement is best, but parent or guardian info (or trusted representative chosen by the parents or guardians) is a definite plus.

☆ Update status of missing person as needed...

If your missing child (or person) is found, please update your post. This is the main reason to make a public post and encourage sharing of that versus a screenshot. A screenshot will not include any updates made after initial posting.

...for those of us on the sharing side...

Effectively Spread Posts

When sharing these posts, we must check to ensure the preceding information is included. Simply sharing a photo with no info spreads more confusion than anything.

Also, please confirm that the missing person you share is indeed still considered missing. In my "travels" on Facebook in particular, I often come across outdated or closed cases. Many heartbreaking times, I will notice a friend has shared a missing person post that has ended with a body and not a  happy conclusion. In our zeal to help, we must be attentive to detail--and request detail if it is not already included.

Can you imagine someone approaching your child at the Walmart or calling the police because they have seen a "missing" person?! How scary would that be for the child?

Keep it updated. At conclusion, which I hope and design with every fiber of my being to be a happy reunion, make note of that in your original posts. Leave the update for a day or two, or longer if it was particularly harrowing or a widespread effort.

...

Coming to the present moment.

I'm still drowsy. I truly dislike feeling this tired, yet unable to sleep. Mainly because it leads to me taking sleep later only to wake up more tired than I started, or sleeping so much that I need more sleep to rest from the excessive sleep I just slept.

I wish I had a USB to just recharge myself periodically. I'm like 208% tired.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Lost?! (A Nightmare...and A Course of Action)

Namastè!

Hello, darkness, my old friend... It's not quite 4 am here and I'm awake, as always. I think I actually sleep like a baby these days: I'm awake sporadically, sleeping 2 to 3 hour stretches, and waken ever so often to try to eat. Plus I seem to have my days and nights mixed up. My Circadians are so bad.

I had a pretty vivid bad dream during my most recent stretch of snee, but it spurned an idea.

Picture it: I'm in the mall with Kids Namastè, and Baby Namastè wanders off. I remember, in the dream, that I was looking at a blouse. Next thing I know, I look up and he's gone! I didn't see him anywhere. I panicked. When I was trying to describe him, I drew a blank when asked what he was wearing. My princess was crying. I was crying. The cop was telling me something about seconds counting and asking for a recent, clear photo--and for some reason I couldn't find one. (Word, add I take pics of the kids almost daily!)

I woke up terrified, cold arrest and all. Tears. Chest tight. It took a long moment for me to realize that not only was my baby safe and sound, but he was lying right in the crook of my arm. Right where he had slept since day one.

My scenario was a dream, thank goodness. Now that I've calmed down, I'm putting together a plan of action. Well, rehashing what I already know to do. Which I'll share with you.

Note: As with any tips or advice I offer here on the NamasBlog, please note that I am not a law enforcement officer. I am not an expert at preventing kidnappings or runaways (short of trying to provide the kind of life my kids don't want to escape)--take anything I say with a double shot of caution, shake liberally on the rocks of common sense, and dash generously on your particular situation. Your mileage may vary.

Now...my princess is ten, almost eleven now! I've been in the game for a while, and in the know even longer. I like to think of myself as an informed mama, especially on matters of safety.

So, walking through the scenario in my dream ( and let me reiterate that this was a dream--Kids Namastè are both safe in bed! I know because I almost woke them as I was settling back into reality!), I can see some mistakes I made. I'll walk you through how I should have prepared.

Note: I'm just examining what I recall from this dream. I was not being a negligent parent, nor was I intentionally inattentive. I was buying a shirt! Kids can wander off in a split second though. Despite being a dream, it was extremely vivid and very taxing. I'm an analyzer and planner, so I tend to take a proactive approach rather than reactive. Rehashing what I already know to be valid survival tips for outings.

I will skip the statistics sites for this one--you may find those on your own. Here we go...

Take a clear photo of each child, periodically.

No fussy background, no props, no Snapchat filters or photo editing. Have the child stand by a wall or your car (please obscure your tag) & get a head-to-toe photo. If you have multiple children, each child needs a separate photo. You may take a group pic, but the solo shots are more beneficial in an emergency. Update this photo AT LEAST every six months.

This is especially valuable before an outing--field trips, mall outings. Personally we make a point to take a pic before any outing involving any crowds or unfamiliar areas. (Don't forget--we often do New York. We also watch Law & Order...oy vey.)

Get a child ID kit!

Children would generally not have a state-issued ID, but parents can get an identification packet made for them. We use the child ID kit available here. It's a simple, straightforward process.

Make note of your child's description.

I know, I know--you know your kid. But in that dream, I was unable to describe Baby Namastè. It was only that, a dream, but in that moment of exigency,  could not recall his hair color or what shirt he was wearing.

Height
Weight
Age
Outfit and shoes
Hairstyle
Hair color
Eye color
Any identifying marks (scars, birthmarks, unique physical traits, etc.)

This is where that "take a clear photo before an outing" comes into play.

Be aware.

I am keenly aware of our surroundings, even when we are just doing basic errands. Random child snatchings are not the norm, but not an impossibility. I pay attention to places as well as the people in those places. I'm not paranoid, just rather observant.

Keep them close!

The rule for Kids Namastè is that they must be within arm's reach of me at all times while on an outing. The rule is simple: "If I can't reach and touch you WITH OUT stretching, you have gone too far." Even though Princess is almost 11, she is never allowed to wander off, even if just one aisle over. Time permitting, I'll go with her to look at any item she's itching to see. Baby Namastè would still be in the kangaroo pouch (I babywear, and he's still small enough that it isn't uncomfortable for either of us!), the shopping cart, or his stroller.

Speaking of carts--don't leave that thing unattended if it happens to be holding your kids! Keep one hand gripping it. Not just touching, consciously gripping. (No need to strangle the handle but definitely hold it.)

Teach your kids what to do if they find themselves separated from you.

As soon as they are able to recite cute phrases for YouTube and Snapchat, they need to also be able to recite their first name, last name, and age. Ideally they need to know mommy's and daddy's name. Even if their speech isn't 100% clear, this is beyond beneficial. Adults will often try to clarify what the child says, and even if the child can't clearly pronounce names, they can still identify when they hear them! Example: Baby Namastè cannot pronounce our last name just yet, but he recognizes it when he hears it. Ask him if he's a Kingston or a Kathmandu and he will say "no, no, no." He knows our K, though. He will nod and smile.

They need to know how to spot security officers and police.

...there.

My personal preference is to never be too outnumbered. I have but two hands, and I need at least one of those hands to do errand-y, shopping-y things. Princess Namastè is often able to grab the cart or her brother while I'm getting an item off the shelf, but I don't make her responsible for the baby. She's a huge help though!

All in all, the biggest tip I can offer is common sense: Pay attention and be prepared. No one wants to think what would happen for their child went missing, but it does happen. Children wander off and get lost, and sometimes children are carried off. Either way, the best defense we have is preparation.

Add always, I hope this helps you plan for your family's safety or perhaps enhances the plan you've got in place already.

I feel the drowsiness coming on again, so I'm going to attempt to take sleep now. I'd typically be dicing into another day by now, but it's Monday and I just don't feel up to tackling anything besides my pillow and my remaining 28 of those ever-elusive 40 winks Iwill need to make it through the morning.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Unplugged

Namastè!

Good morning-ness!

I'm preparing for another school term...and getting ready to buy some more board games, craft supplies, and books.

As you're well aware, we are a homeschool family.

As you may also be aware, we do things a lot differently. We absolutely do not buck technology, modern convenience, but we DO try to retain the old family feel we were raised with.

We unplug. As often as possible, we untether from technology and its appeal, and just enjoy each other's company. We are working to create a strong familial bond, and sometimes that means putting in real effort to connect to each other instead of phone screens, computer keyboards, and consoles.

How, in 2017?!

Well...

We don't have televisions in our bedroom OR our kids' bedrooms. (They watch their shows and movies, they just do so in the family room.) Video games, electronics, and cell phone use is kept to a comfortable minimum--the kids aren't glued to screens 24-7, and the parents aren't engaging empty mini screen time either.

Do I agree with screen time?

While it may appear that I don't, I very much do. We give the kids ample time to enjoy age-appropriate, developmentally-targeted technology. Age-appropriate means my ten-year-old is not watching reality television series on her phone. She's not in message boards or on social media apps being unbearable.

Note: I did not say she will never do those things--that is a trap. (Never say what a child won't do, say what you hope they won't and instill why they shouldn't!) I'm saying that right now, she is sticking to what she's been taught. That's all any parent can do, eh? She's a good apple.

I digressed, but only a little.

I refuse to spend this post harping on what we don't do or why, because that tends to divide. What I really aim to do is impart a viewpoint and perhaps a new understanding. Another glimpse into Lifestyle Namastè! I prefer to effect that by sharing what we do.

When people hear unplugged, they typically think a negative. Because we depend so much on technology and convenience, it is a scary thought to be without it and a crazy notion (sometimes) to be without it by choice.

But!

Think about your favorite childhood memory.

Mine is probably when I was about 9 or 10. I was sitting in the flowerbed with my Grandma (rest her soul, may she truly sleep in the sweetest forever  peace), and we were putting out gladiolus bulbs. She was telling me about how the soil has to be turned and aerated a few days prior, and how she liked growing flowers.

We didn't have a video of that afternoon. There aren't any pictures. But what there is, is a memory. Through head injuries, life changes, and the sheer fact that over 20 years have passed since that day, I still recall it vividly. I can almost smell the dirt. If I close my eyes I can hear her telling me about those bulbs and how pretty the blooms would be. It's as if I can almost go back to that exact moment.

...that should what I want for Kids Namastè. Videos and photos have their merits for sure--but nothing compares to being so invested in a moment that it becomes a part of who you are.

To this day I still turn the soil around my plants by hand, using only a spade and a little claw tool. (It's got a name but for me, it's a little claw tool.) I do not hire landscapers for my flower plots, and I plant every flower from either seeds or bulbs. Why?

Because it takes me back to those sweet, unplugged moments with my Grandma. It gives me the kind of peace I'd be hard-pressed to find doing anything else.

So...we do game nights. We have an assortment of board and card games, which we parents get in and play with the kids. We put our phones away, we get in the family room on the floor usually, and we laugh and create memories.

While neither of our kids is currently all that into gardening just yet, they each will have memories of their own. Maybe they won't close their eyes and conjure a warm afternoon, complete with grits fingers from turning soil, soil they can practically still smell. Maybe they won't get the rush of giddiness while waiting for seeds or bus to sprout, grow, then bloom.

But they will have real recollections of holidays spent with family, and fun reminiscences of vacations. Of course there are photos, but in none of those photos will you see a child on a screen. At no gathering have they been allowed to retreat into their devices versus diving into whatever activity or conversation we're checking out. They have photos with Grandma, but they also have had real, meaningful time with her.

Speaking of my dear Grandma... one of the main reasons we started the unplug periods was because I did not want the kids to be at Grandma's playing Angry Birds instead of bonding with her, gathering all that wisdom and experience. When we spent holidays there, we left our phones in the car. Because we did this, even Baby Namastè will have memories with her.

No doubt, photos, recordings, and videos will help make her legacy more tangible for them. These things have helped immensely in the healing process as we adjust to life without her physical presence.

So...when I say we live as unplugged as possible, I don't mean so in an unfair, overly restrictive way. I just mean this:

Life is very much about pictures, videos, and fun. But it is even more about being present in the moments to be inspired enough that a video or picture holds meaning! As parents we know our kids will grow from newborn to college student in the blink of an eye. Somewhere in that little bitty stretch of time, must exist moments that they can hold onto as life propels them forward.

We're not forcing Stepford-perfect, Kodak commercial moments...we're just providing opportunity for them to happen.

That's it, and that's all.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Baboochi!

Namastè!

It's my favorite time of awake--the wee hours. *insert smirk*

I generally check my social media most in the wee hours and tonight I got a double whammy: I made the 400 Club on my Instagram, and I got the chance to speak with an actual toy designer.

Laura C. Byrnes is the creator of the Baboochi, and the author of its story. The Baboochi is my new obsession and I can't stop talking about it. (Yes, I'm talking about it at 12.40 am--I'm excited and this is why my Hubby Namastè and I are a good match. He supports my wacky.)

What's the Baboochi?!

Y'all...it is the cutest little blue fuzzy wuzzy I have ever laid eyes on. He is the perfect fuzzy lovey for boys and girls of any age (I'm an adult and I'm in love with it!), and it comes with a book featuring its story! The Baboochies are all about positivity. They teach kids about so many positive traits: kindness, respect, responsibility, being good stewards of their belongings, and sharing. They also incorporate friendship, and how to be a good apple.

The Baboochies are adoptable fuzziness, and they each come with instructions to get an official certificate. (I'm melting into my pillows from the cuteness of this whole concept.)

Note: All images are the property of Laura C. Byrnes, and used with permission. 

This is the stuff my life is built on. As you may know, the Namastè is more than just an easy portmanteau or branding for my name--it is really our principle, and how we want to live. Our legacy will be built on effecting positivity.

The Baboochi just fits, and I couldn't pass up a chance to investigate it. Get into it, hanging out on the Great Wall of China like a little blue boss. *squeal*

Back story to how this is even happening: I'm obsessed with stuffed animals and plushies. I amassed a huge collection when I was growing up, which now belong to Kids Namastè. While I no longer sleep in a bed full of them, I still love watching them be made and learning about them. (I legit study the history and origins of stuffed animals, and it never disappoints.)

Back to now: one of my newest friends on Instagram had a blue fuzzy as their profile photo. I clicked on it. Y'all,  I about died.

She. Is. A. Toy. Creator. (And children's author!)

I have never gotten to sit down with a real live toy creator. I immediately had to ask about an interview. I wanted to know as much as I could, and she was so sweet and took the time to answer all of my questions...

...which I will share with you now, because it's so cool. (She's the bold italics.)

T: That blue fluffy wuffy is adorable and I'm always curious about how stuffed animals happen. (I am that type who goes to build a bear mainly to watch the bears be made.)

LCB: Haha that's awesome! Baboochi originally started as the book first and the stuffed animal after. The book was created to be a fun, easy to read, bedtime story book. We then had Baboochi come to life, because in the story Baboochi leaves their planet and comes to Earth! We wanted that special friendship to be really real to little kids by letting them have a Baboochi of their own, just like in the story. We made the toy cute, soft, but also durable so that it can go on adventures with children!

T: Also...what inspired him/her to be blue??? How long have you been writing?

LCB: Oh no problem! The inspiration just came from my imagination The blue is a bright Royal blue which I am in love with. I feel as though it's bright enough and fluffy enough that you can't help but smile! Baboochi is all about positivity! I've loved to write for awhile and my style is more suited for children's book as I also love fun colors and adventures myself. Eventually I plan to write more books and expand with more Baboochi like creatures.

T: Your imagination is epic. Don't ever let this world steal it.

LCB: Thank you so much!!

T: Positivity is a MUST. Especially to arm our kids with what they need for success. Is there an age suggestion for Baboochi?

LCB: Age wise, Baboochi is a great for toddlers. It's VERY easy to read and is a beginner level book.

T: Is there a turnaround time for production or are they made in large numbers?

LCB: Usually we have them made in batches to meet demand, so that no one has to wait an overly long time to receive theirs.

T: I'm in Georgia and dying to know if and when they would hit stores here.

LCB: We would loveeee to be in stores but for right now we have baboochi.com and Amazon until we expand.

...that's all I will reveal about the Baboochi, for now.

Why am I leaving you with a cliffhanger?

One, because its late, and you need to be in bed. Two... Because Laura is sending one out for us to check out. She has honored sweet Baby Namastè with the opportunity to represent the Baboochi brand with his own blue fuzzy wuzzy.

You know I wouldn't hold out on you. Tsk tsk!

Y'all, my kid carries around a spoon. Have you ever tried explaining why your toddler is carrying a spoon? Most people see it and shrug it off as toddlerness, but there are those who need more info. Which I provide as best I can. I mean, it's a spoon, and he's a toddler. Life of Tayè, I suppose. It's adorable enough, but Baboochi is so much cuter.

I am so looking forward to his adventures with his Baboochi!

So...that's why I won't be telling you everything I know about the adorable fluffy Baboochi--I would rather to tell you when he is in Castle Namastè and Baby Namastè is happily  running around with him.

My baby is getting a new little friend, but I got to fulfill one of my bucket list dreams. I have always wanted to sit down and chat with an author, and I have always wanted to meet a plush toy creator. I got to do both, in one fell swoop. I'm so ecstatic. Y'all have no clue. Even better, I get to work with her as I help Baby Namastè show off the Baboochi! I am so beyond excited. 

Another pic because it's so cute. It's reading its little storybook! *squeal*

In the meantime, you can check out its official website AND follow its Instagram. Lauren mentioned more stories and even some fuzzy friends for Baboochi, so keep your eyes peeled and stay in the loop! 

Namastè'!

-- Tayè K.  ♡

Ask A Homeschool Mom! (NamasLEARN Series, Ep.4)

Namastè!

As you know, school is just around the corner. For Family Namastè, that means it's time to begin another run of homeschool.

I get many questions, assumptions, and opinions about this homeschool thing. I decided to make a NamasLEARN "episode" about it, as well as share some commonly asked questions.

I began homeschool with my Princess when she was 7. We moved to an area with great real estate pricing BUT with that inexpensive house came some undesirable schools. When we toured the classroom, children in first grade were just learning to spell their colors and numbers.

I knew this probably wouldn't be an ideal or even feasible learning environment for my princess, as she had been reading since age two and a half. She could read, write, and calculate simple math before she ever entered an official kindergarten. (We worked with her early, but all credit goes to her--she soaks up knowledge like a sponge, and retains it well!)

We had two choices: Drive her an hour each way to the district she was accustomed to, or homeschool. Sending her into that new district was not an option for us.

We embarked on the path of homeschooling...and haven't looked back! Because we wanted to make sure she could realign easily with public schooling should we ever opt to send her back, we enrolled her at Georgia Connections Academy. While we control what she does and when, she still participates in state testing and our curriculum runs parallel to the one used by kids in tradition school, known as brick and mortar school in the homeschool set.

She has and continues to excel--her scores are in the very top percentile of fifth graders, and have been since she was in third grade. She reads at college level. She comprehends mathematical calculations at early 8th grade level. Her overall retention of material, early high school. She has actually been offered the opportunity to skip grades, to be with kids at her academic level, but we declined because she needs to at least finish out elementary school with her peers.

Note:  This is not our child being held back, kept from succeeding. This is us as parents respecting that she isn't ready to make that leap. She is more than academia, and her maturity to not leap at the chance to rush growing up screams at us that she is making the right choice. She has time to skip grades. Right now she is choosing to enjoy the freedom of a 10-year-old's schedule, rather than jump headfirst into a class where she would always be the youngest, therefore never feel included.

Then came the questions and assumptions...

Is it easier than regular school?

No. We do the same work, often times more, than kids in brick and mortar school. Unless one is lazy, homeschool is never the "easy" route.

Does she have homework?

Yes. We have her practice new concepts and curricula just as she would in brick and mortar. She does extra practice in the evenings. However, she is never given homework on the weekends, save the occasional project assigned by her teacher at Connections.

Do you grade her work?

NOPE. Her assignments are submitted through an online grading system. We love this part of it because it lets her know, she is earning these grades. Mommy and Daddy and Uncle Namastè aren't just giving her high marks because she's cute. We wouldn't anyway, but the grade portal is our friend because it relieves us of that responsibility. We get to focus on teaching, not on grading.

Is it expensive?

Define expensive. We do invest a fair amount in her materials--her learning space, her supplies, and extracurricular activities are not free. Connections Academy provides her textbooks and some materials, but while the extras are wonderful additions, they are not sufficient for an entire, successful year.

What's the work like?

She does the same assignments and concept development as her public school peers. We designed hers to be a bit more challenging (to keep her interested and avoid stagnation), but the work load is roughly the same. She doesn't have it easy, as in she doesn't coast through or do busy-work.

What do you have to buy?

We purchase paper, pencils, pens, art supplies, spiral books, and binders. We purchase storage solutions. We purchase her desk and computer. (The desk and computer are generally one-time deals unless it's time to upgrade...and this year, it is! Her current PC is four years old and we'll be adding memory as well as a better monitor and updating/optimizing the operating system.)

Doesn't she miss being with other kids?

No. One, she isn't without company. She has several very close friends. Her little circle isn't really all that little. (I'm usually cool with this but at birthday time, it gets hinky--trying to remember all those invites, SHEESH.)

Is it really that beneficial?

Yes. For us, anyway. Because of our own schedules, we have the freedom to just up and go. Our daughter gets to enjoy that same freedom. She has done her class work in the library in New York City. She's studied while looking out over Washington DC. She has even visited some of the sites mentioned in her American Story lessons. Reading is absolutely great but seeing those sites in person? Yeah...pretty beneficial if you ask me.

The ever-snide, "I wish I had time to homeschool."

This one fires me up, so here we go! I wish other parents had less time to judge or assume about what we do! Our daughter is homeschooled because that's what's best for her. Will that change? Maybe! Maybe not. Right now we work diligently to provide the income base and family structure so that I can do this for her. I wasn't magically given the time--I made it by moving my own schedule around and even giving up a few things in order to devote those hours to her.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong NOT homeschooling. I'm saying there's something very wrong with trying to shade or even guilt those of us who have aligned and adjusted our lives so that we are able to.

Why not let her skip that grade?

She doesn't want to.

Why does she get that decision?

Her academic success is for and about her. If she does not currently feel comfortable being thrown into a class of older kids with already-established friendships and bonds, I see no reason to force her. It'd do more harm than good. She wants to be with kids her own age. There's no college competition brewing at the moment--she's fine. A

Early graduation is still a wonderful thing, and a very real possibility for her, as is dual enrollment when she is old enough. For now, we aren't skipping anything.

We have talked at length to her, as well as among ourselves (with her teachers and counselors) and the consensus is, it's her choice. We adjusted her work to be more challenging, and she is happy. Happy and successful don't always go hand in hand in life. She has that right now, and we're not going to shake it just so we can ship her off to the next challenge.

...that was a whole mouthful!

I hope this sheds some light on what it's really like. Maybe seeing our journey will inspire yours! I'll be talking about it more in depth as August approaches. Stay tuned over on Instagram for photos of our work space, as well as some DIY tips here on the blog!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Open Letter to The "Just Wait" Crowd

Namastè!

I'm annoyed this morning. I haven't had my coffee and I'm not feeling so great...and I just got hit 3 times by the Just Wait Crew. Augh!

For the uninitiated, the "just wait" crew hangs around social circles just like normal, average people. They have a magic superpower though--the ability to make you fear what's to come. (If you let them, anyway.) 

Examples? Pregnant mom is uncomfortable in her early stages and voices that discomfort. The Crew swoops in. Just wait until you reach *insert farther week, with bigger discomfort*

Toddler mom is experiencing a new toddler thing that her sweet baby wasn't doing before. Oh, just wait until *insert another, possibly more annoying toddler behavior*

Dear Just Wait Crew,

Salutations!

As politely as I can, I must tell you--SHUT UP.

When a mom is uncomfortable in her pregnancy or having a hard day with symptoms, your "just wait" is plain rude.

When a toddler is going through a phase that wears on his or her parents, your "just wait" is really not warranted.

When a parent is experiencing something new, unexpected, or unplanned for (and honestly, what about this isn't new, unexpected, or unplanned for?!), your "just wait" is really not needed.

Are you sensing a trend here, one-upper?

Are you beginning to see how your "just wait" does nothing to soothe the current fray but (for some) can do everything to undo whatever confidence they have that it does get easier?

What do you get out of it? Is there some benefit to being a harbinger of doom? Is it fun being a dark cloud?

The root of my aggravation with you? I will happily expound. You are a dark cloud. You rain on parades that are not necessarily happening. Do you really think that things have to be your level of uncomfortable/unnerving/etc before people are allowed to speak on them?

When a kid has a tantrum and mom or dad is slightly undone, exactly what do you gain by telling them "just wait til they do it worse?"

What if they don't?  What if they never ever tantrum to that level again, and they never get worse? Would that disappoint you?

I have a suggestion for you "just wait" types.

When a parent, or human in general, is speaking on something they're experiencing and you feel that tingle to chime in like you so often do?

JUST WAIT.

Just wait until you're not trying to win the one-up contest. Just wait until you realize there IS no one-up contest. Just wait...

Until you're NOT trying to steal spotlights people haven't even turned on yet

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Homeschool: Knocking Out Another Year!

Namastè!

Ah, it's almost August. I'm glad, but mainly because I have really big ideas for my daughter's classroom this year.

No, I'm not commandeering the Feng shui of some unsuspecting teacher's space. We are a very proud homeschool family, and it's about that time of year to set up her work space. This is our first time making an actual class space in Castle Namastè, as we just moved here in December.

I'm so jazzed. So is Princess Namastè.

Desk!

Of course any class space needs a desk. Hers will have space to write, as well as room for her computer. Her chair will be comfortable enough to sit for a couple spells...but maybe not so cozy that she sleeps there. We think a corner desk is best, because that allows some space for her to stretch between lessons. Given our planned spot, she'll also get some good sunlight while she studies.

Organization...

I am big on organization. I dislike clutter, and I feel like it kind of takes away from the learning environment when things aren't in their proper place. To that end, I'll be providing some shelving and storage solutions. My sweet little princess is allowed to customize within reason, but nothing distracting.

The shelving unit will hold her books and binders. I will get some bins (coordinated to her chosen design scheme) to hold pencils, pens, and smaller necessities. When a student's supplies are organized and within reach, the learning goes smoother. Organizing is key to success for us especially, as Princess Namastè is sometimes distracted if she doesn't have a clear work space. She got that honest.

Style!

Because I want her to be as content as possible, I allow my little Bug to customers and design her space. She chooses the colors and textures, as well as the layout. I'm perfectly fine with the music notes and Bollywood theme we will be doing this year--it encompasses two things she loves and adds some personality to her learning space.

Learning materials?

Yes! I will be helping my princess design her charts this year. We go all out! We have a chart for basic stuff like multiplication refresher and the metrics chart, as well as her weekly goals. It is truly a classroom...it just happens to be at our house.

Class'ogram!

This is a big deal for us. The Class'ogram is our weekly telegram. I put all the lessons from her scheduler in there. (While our schooling is online, I still maintain as much hands-on, hard copy as possible.) The Class'ogram is our guide to the week. Everything of import goes in there, from class assignments to enrichment assignments to appointments! It outlines all the expectations and goals we've got, along with the objectives and learning goals. We also include a weekly empowerment quote and journal assignments centered around a character education objective. I even teach my baby about credit! I am so serious with this thing, y'all.

The Class'ogram also teaches my princess responsibility. She receives one copy at the beginning of the week, typically Sunday night before bed but no later than 8.30 Monday morning. (We begin lessons at 9.) If she loses that copy, she must pony up a quarter for a reprint. Since she does not receive an electronic copy of the Class'ogram, she is required to handle her copy with care.

Note: Let go of your pearls. The quarters for lost copies (which are few and far in between) go directly toward supplies for her. She's being taught responsibility and acountability, and that is something people twice her age often lack. We are strict about it, but the discipline she receives now is molding her into an even more awesome young lady.

The Schedule...

Our school day begins promptly at 9 am. We are typically done by 2 pm, but we give our princess until 5 pm to have all her assignments for the day done and her work area cleaned. We loosely follow what she would be doing in brick and mortar, but because we are home we can customize the time frame for each lesson based on how difficult it is, and allow more time for new concepts. We generally wrap our days up around the time kids in brick and mortar get out of school.

Socializing?! How?!

Princess Namastè is very social, actually. Contrary to popular yet misinformed belief, homeschool does not equal shut in, awkward, or uncultured. Due to our work, she has friends all over Georgia. I host a co-op for homeschool families in our area, and she has formed friendships with some of those kids. She also has (limited) social media, so she is able to interact and correspond with our family, which reaches from here in the US all the way to India and Sri Lanka.

It is not really difficult to provide her with social interaction. She's involved in a few activities and she is the kind of kids who just makes friends very easily. She's reserved like her mother,  so her dance cats never gets to full. She likes tone with her friends but also likes time with herself.

Sooooo...that's how we get ourselves situated each school term. It's fun and exciting. It's a lot of work but so worth it.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Dining Out... with Baby!

Namastè!

I either have high health or great sleep most days. This early morning I have neither.

As you know, we have a ten-year-old and a sixteen-month-old. As you also know, we don't have a sitter. (It's a delicate balance, which I'll demystify in another post.) We went to dinner yesterday evening. Taking a toddler to sit down, in a restaurant, can be daunting.

No, seriously.

You see, I am a bit of a fancy-pants. On the occasion I opt to have someone outside Castle Namastè make my food, I like it to be in a restaurant with a wine list and reservations. (I don't like wine, but I do like the option to call in so we avoid waiting for a table.)

Now, how does a squirmy, vocal toddler fit this scene?

They DON'T.

At least, not until we teach them.

Because I didn't have the luxury of (i.e. income for) a sitter with our sweet lil' princess, I took her practically everywhere I went. As a result, she learned to behave in a variety of situations. I could take her to quiet places like libraries or seminars, where she'd sit with a book while I attended to whatever my agenda was in that moment. As she grew, she was able to understand about different environments. I unintentionally debunked that myth that children don't understand much by simply doing what I had to do!

Fast forward ten years, a few upgrades to our life's station, and another baby. Baby Namastè, too, goes everywhere with us. He's learning, like his sister, by doing. Going. Seeing!

There wasn't any magic involved, but I've got a few tips.

Choose a golden hour!

Once your little settles into a routine, it's best to keep to that routine as much as possible. For example, Baby Namastè naps at 10 am and 3 pm. This means I don't do elevenses and we never make a dinner reservation before at least six. We have to make sure he's got time to wake up and get his bearings. He's his absolute most pleasant an hour or so after waking, when he's had his milkies and shaken off the after-sleep grumpies.

Don't arrive with starving kids.

Even though the purpose for going to dinner is to eat, you don't want to make the mistake of showing up with hungry little bears in tow. Hungry little ones often become cranky, crabby little ones, after all.

I don't recommend juice or sugary snacks as a way to buffer the "hanger" (you know--the hungry anger!) before dining out. The goal is to avoid a sugar crash, so protein or a carb is a better bet. We offer yogurt, sandwich quarters, or fruit. This way, we arrive with kids who are hungry enough to eat, but not so hungry that they become aggravated while waiting.

Manners begin at home!

Children in restaurants can be either adorable or a nuisance. Period. I say this both as a mom who sometimes takes her babies out, and as a grown woman who sometimes wants to enjoy a romantic meal without any babies present anywhere.

I know, you're ready to get offended. Don't be.

Some kids are holy angels in restaurants. They eat and they smile and they do adorable, yet reasonable toddler antics as they eat and smile. Some kids are holy terrors and torment the entire establishment as they shriek and fight through their meals.

Even scarier? As a parent we will likely all be on both ends of the spectrum at some point!

Note: No need to justify any behavior from any child of yours. I'm not a doctor, psychiatrist, or psychologist, nor am I judging anyone or their kid. I'm speaking from my personal experience. I know everyone has a reason and a justification--I just don't want to hear it. #noMomsplainingZone

Kids need manners and structure at home, before they can practice it anywhere else. For my.babies, I keep it very simple.

* We speak quietly at the dinner table, using our soft voices.
* We eat to satisfaction only, not stuffed.
* We do not disturb others as we eat.

When we have the kids in restaurants, we follow these same rules. Even Baby Namastè can abide by them, as they are simple. We speak quietly to them, and engage with them. As we eat, we watch their cues to make sure they've eaten to satisfaction but aren't stuffed and uncomfortable. Lastly, we keep our conversations and such to our own area.

Practice makes habit. There's no way we could let them run wild at home and then expect them to know how to conduct themselves in public. It begins at home, and should begin early. No need for a ton of rigid edicts--a few simple, consistently-applied principles will suffice.

How do you make them sit?!

The biggest issue with tiny ones and restaurants is the fact that they are just not old enough to sit quiet and still for the average dining experience--most of us go out to eat and stay in the restaurant for 90 minutes or more. That's a LOT for a baby or toddler.

Note: Attention spans vary and differ vastly.

When our tiny diners are bored, they naturally seek entertainment. What's more entertaining than mom or dad's attention?! Doesn't matter to a kid if it's negative attention or positive. They want a diversion and you just gave it to them!

We sit for meals at home. It all goes back to manners and what we apply at home, because the foundation of everything happens there. We expect the kids to sit through meals at our own table, and we make it an engaging, enjoyable time for them. It's simple respect! We respect them enough to teach them, and because they are given respect they naturally reciprocate. When a child feels included and respected, they will almost always behave in kind.

No toys?

Again, back to the "it starts at home." Beyond infancy  we don't bring toys and such to restaurants. We are there to eat, after all. We engage with the kids--conversation, perhaps a very quiet song. We use the wait time to enter their little worlds. Since we sit and eat together as often as we can, the kids are used to not having distractions like toys or games. (Although we do allow them to use the crayons and coloring pages some restaurants provide. It isn't a boot camp after all!)

We don't drag along their toys and games because we don't want them to need a distraction to behave. To that end, we put our phones away.

Yep. You read that right.

We don't use our phones during dinner. If there are to be photos, they are snapped immediately when  we sit down. Naturally we make exception for extraordinarily cute moments, but we don't sit and browse out smartphones while we are dining, not at home and not while we're out.

Meals are one of the cornerstones of family time. We have all day to use phones and the kids play with their games and toys almost from the moment they wake up til the moment they go back to bed! Mealtimes, especially mealtimes outside the house, are special times. We don't like to distract ourselves. Instead, we engage and use that time to enjoy and interact as a family. Mom and Dad aren't busy cooking and serving food, so we get in some excellent quality time.

In refraining from our own distractions, we free ourselves up to not rely on them for our kids. It probably seems hokey,  but try it. You'll notice a difference in the kids' behavior and you'll likely enjoy your mealtime more!

Ah...

With practice, littlest ones can be restaurant savvy just like bigger ones. It's just a matter of patience and practice. They can't learn if they aren't taught, and they cannot master if they're never given a chance to apply.

I hope this helps take the sting out of dining out with your own little bears!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Feeding The Foods! (NamasLEARN Series, Ep 3)

Namastè!

Today we had a simple dinner--pepper stew meat and rice.

As you surely know, we have a toddler in our ranks.

Baby Namastè is 16 months old now and a total joy. Surprisingly he's even pleasant at mealtime.

Most moms of toddlers can attest--they are not the easiest crowd to please. Some eat only certain foods and staunchly refuse all others. It can be challenging putting together healthy meals for little people who don't even want to sit still long enough to eat!

When we first began solids for Baby Namastè, it was because he kept trying to take bits off our plates to eat. (Also to squish and toss!) He was roughly ten months old before he had any real interest in solids, and he refused even a taste of purees.

Wait...ten months?! Development books say six!

Not among the BLW crowd. Baby led weaning, for the uninitiated, is the practice for allowing the baby to decide when solids begin. Typically the baby will show interest in what the parents are eating--they'll want to squish and play with the food, and then they'll start exploring its tastes and textures by humming, chewing, and swallowing it. Baby led weaning skips purees altogether.

I had never heard of it. Not by name, anyway. I was just taught to go by baby, not the calendar. At six months, our baby could sit unsupported. He could crawl! He could hold his bottle on the odd occasion he wasn't nursing. He could even hold a spoon.

But he wasn't eating baby food. Or any food, really.

He would squish peas or smash banana and smear it all over his high chair tray, but it never made it to his mouth. When it was time for noms, he only wanted what came from Moms! I was okay with it. Our pediatrician confirmed what we were already planning to do--let him tell us when he was ready.

I hadn't heard of BLW by any proper name because I dislike all the parenting labels and subsets in existence today. A lot of stuff we do now and feel trendy about, has actually been done for many moons. Our ancestors just didn't take time to hash tag it.

I digress.

Like any mom I was so ready to make organic baby food and store it in cute little pouches and jars@ I just knew my kid would be a foodie. I had even gotten a cook book of recipes for purees so he wouldn't be bored.

Pffft.

Purees were finger paint!

When he was ten months old, we moved into Castle Namastè. We were sitting down to a delicious dinner and the baby was going bonkers. I got him to nurse and he didn't latch.

He. Didn't. Latch.

No.

He went straight for a fist full of my baked sweet potato.

This time he ate it!

So I sat him in his high chair again, this time with some sweet potato, a few English peas, and a little bit of spinach.

He didn't exactly clean his tray. He only ate two or three actual bites.

I started reading on BLW and looking for whatever information I could find. This was gonna be how I raised him to enjoy food.

As it turns out we didn't need special books or even special foods. Just patience. BLW means letting him have bits of our food to explore, play with,  and eventually eat. Because it involves letting babies figure out how to eat--the chewing and swallowing--it can be a little messy. And scary, as the babies will often gag as they acclimate to swallowing food versus only milk.

Alas, we will (hopefully) skip the chicken nuggets and bananas phase because our son eats what we eat, as he's never been given a separate meal.

I used to be more than a little anxious regarding his dealings with solid food. He showed what I thought was a very late interest in eating anything but breastmilk. Because he is a small child, we've regulated on more than a few well-meaning advisors who insist we can bulk him up by making him eat or drink cow milk.

Our healthy, happy little twig child weighs 19 pounds and 14 ounces at 16 months old. He eats and nurses quite well; he's just active and slight of build. And since he's not a baby cow, he won't be having cow's milk. We don't eat dairy at all, honestly. I'm intolerant and I assume my kids are. I never took the risk with him.

For us BLW meant our son got to move at his own pace. He has his whole life to enjoy solid foods. We just went with the flow, and we truly think we're better off for it. I used to worry that he would be the child who only ate one or two foods because that's how he began.

He just needed time and practice. Currently he loves tacos, including lettuce and tomato. While he only has 10 teeth, he can--and does--eat almost anything he sees us eat. Much to our joy, he is a baby foodie! Right now he's willing to try most things. In addition to his tacos, he enjoys Indian food, Jamaican food, Italian food. He does not care much for meat. Neither do I, and his dad is a vegetarian, so that's possibly just par for his course.

What I learned through BLW is to trust my parenting and my baby's cues. The calendar cannot define when a child will be ready for a certain milestone, nor when it will happen. I firmly believe that slamming purees in a bottle or forcing a baby to eat foods too early, does way more harm than good. There's nothing good about it, honestly.

As I learned to trust his cues and readiness, I also she'd a good bit of that anxiety over his eating habits and his size. Right now our little twig child is a happy, active, healthy, thriving toddler! He needn't be at the top of a growth percentile chart (which we don't even acknowledge, as the ones most pediatricians use are feared to formula fed infants' growth trends and Baby Namastè was bt formula fed) to be at his top form.

In trusting his cues and readiness, I also solidified my trust in myself. I'm mom. I've got this. BLW proves that our approach--let Baby lead--has been correct for us all along! It's rooted in everyrhing we hold true. Babies teach us to parent them. Then we teach them.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Why the NamasLEARN Series?

Namastè!

I hope you're having a peaceful, pleasant Saturday morning. Saturdays are still sorta wonky for me. Time doesn't heal wounds. Its passage just numbs us a bit until we can cope, or at least function. I'm still adjusting to not getting my daily phone call from Grandma.

Alas! She didn't raise a pansy. Not even in the garden. I shall press forth. At least, I shall make a valiant effort to press forth.

My current theme is the NamasLEARN Series. I decided it'd be cool to look back and share some of the things I learned only after becoming a mom.

When i thre my hat in the bkigger ring, I never expected more than 5 or 10 people to actually check out what I was doing. I was not doing it for any particular gain, just as an outlet. But as I began and picked up steam, I realized something crazy and epic:

Many times, we bloggers are seen as experts or at the bare minimum, trusted sources.

Incidentally, that's the main reason I drive you all batty with the notes and disclaimers! I am a Jill of many trades but master of only a select few. I share things in this space that I'm knowledgeable about, but I am always keen and careful to point out that I'm not an expert. I'm giving you what worked for me, and how I did it, but I'm also letting you know that your mileage may vary. Your mileage could vary a whole lot, in fact.

Of course, as people begin to trust your guidance (and thank you so much to those of you who do!), others will come out and challenge how it is that you know whatever you know. They want receipts. Certificates.

That ain't why I'm here.

I could care less about being verified. Only if I'm giving health info (rare), actual advice (even more rare), or medical advice (psssh, never!) would I care to "prove" anything.

My NamasLEARN Series is a way for you to learn about me, through me sharing what I've learned. Kinda an intro without me having to blatantly talk about me. I hate that "me me me" thing. I find it impossible to sit and talk about me, or my work, because it feels pretentious.

Once I got my footing with this blog thing, I realized quickly that I didn't want the pressure of being an info blog, and I didn't want the headache of being a social blog. Mommy blogging doesn't cover me 100%, so I'm kinda just here. Whatever comes up, comes out, and so far it's been well-received.

For future NamasLEARN eps, I'll cover things as I'm doing them. I'll include videos, soundbites, and of course photos. (I'm finally opening up more with that photo thing. Oy!)

To catch me in my various stages of action, do join me in my presently VERY active social media:

Snapchat: @NamasTayeK
Instagram: @NamasteWithTayeK
Facebook: Namastè with Tayè K

...y'all know how I feel about the whole social media thing, but it has grown on me! I enjoy interacting with my namasTribe.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Ah, Breastfeeding. (NamasLEARN Series, Ep. 2)

Namastè!

Another namasLesson coming!

Breastfeeding.

I can't teach you how, of course, but I can share a link to the single most helpful thing I ever read about it, as well as share how I stumbled through the beginning of my journey.

Note: Because this is the Internet, let me just say this--if you're not a breastfeeding mama and have no intention to be, take this with a grain of salt. A shot of tequila. Or kindly click the X. It's not a jab at your bottles, I promise.

Anyhoo...

Before I get into my story, allow me to drop this here.

The single most helpful breastfeeding post I ever read.

(Sixteen months in, this is still my go-to. The Mom in Me Blog has been my rock during these months, even before I actually started nursing. Do yourself and your nerves a favor--have a gander.)

Now...onto me. Tayè.

I knew I wanted to nurse Baby Namastè from the moment I saw those lines on that stick! I was obsessed with the idea of providing him that liquid gold, and I wanted to go as long as possible, but at least up til 12 months. I knew how to latch, how to buy a nursing bra, and what the major pump brands were. However, with nine and a half years between Kids Namastè, that was about the extent of my knowledge. After some in-depth chats with the Cuban (I call her that, and you can't. So don't. And yes--she's an actual LC.), I knew latching techniques, holds, and had a solid grip on most things the first few weeks can bring. I felt like I was well-prepared and ready, and that's a good feeling. Let me tell you, you need an LC who gives you that confidence.

As soon as we got a good look at our beautiful boy, he latched.

Early Days...and 3 Problems

First problem--his tiny little mouth! Also, he had a mild lip tie. His latch was a bit shallow the first day or so, but we plugged at it until he got it.

The second problem--our hospital recommended a pediatrician, and to avoid having to stay another day in the hospital, we agreed to let her examine our little bub. She immediately asked if we were supplementing. She was concerned that he might lose weight or end up needing a bottle anyway because of his lip tie. I declined the formula samples. (I did take a couple pacis though. Turns out those were golden starting at maybe 5 weeks? Pure clutch.)

One thing I didn't know much about was all the different teas, products, and even special cookies they make for breastfeeding women. All in the name of milk.

We don't need any of those things. All we need is skin to skin with Baby, and to feed baby on demand. Our supply is regulated in the first few weeks according to how often baby feeds. Supply and demand!

The 3rd problem? My LC. The hospital's LC would not teach me to pump. When I asked about it (I brought it to the hospital so she could show me how to use it.), she remarked that they usually only teach hand expression and that pumping wasn't good for the first few weeks. I knew that, but my situation required it.

I still had that heady confidence though. I decided to stick with my Cuban's advice and deal with whatever arose, as it arose.

It's Natural But Natural Ain't Necessarily Easy!

IT. IS. NOT. EASY.

For me, the hardest part was dealing with oversupply. My body makes way more milk than my baby needs, so it's nothing to pump out 9 or 10 ounces per boob even if he's nursed. That sounds fun but let me tell you...

No. Not fun. Nottttttt fun. Anything but. See, after the first few months, most moms can tick away their nursing pads. They can wear regular shirts again. They don't get engorged unless they miss several feedings.

Me?

Tuh.

These canons will blow in 2 hours and 59 minutes and 59 seconds. There is no 3-hour window. If Baby Namastè doesn't latch, the S2 or the Sonata MUST or I will leak twelve gallons from rock-hard cantaloupe boobs. It's quite uncomfortable, and quite inconvenient.

"But you never worry about milk!"

I also never worry about sleeping through the night. Potato, potahto. No complaints. I just wish people didn't immediately ask what I take or eat. I don't eat fenugreek by the bottle full (I actually only get the fenugreek in my food--we eat a lot of curry and it's a main ingredient.), down gallons of *insert magic color* Gatorade, or smash down sleeves of magic cookies. I also don't eat any more oatmeal, varied seeds, or other foods than I would normally.

The Low-supply Demon

Because I'm blessed/cursed with oversupply, I never really feared a whole lot about low supply. If anything, I kinda wished at times that I could somehow slack up just a bit without compromising my baby's feedings. A drawback of pumping 60 ounces a day (some days) is, breastmilk does not have infinite shelf life. A baby will only consume so much, after all.

I digress, of course.

Hubby Namastè hails from India. A remote village where midwives and wet nurses are still very much a thing, to be exact. There does not exist nearly as much pandemonium about low supply, because there do not exist any other options. The average family there cannot afford formula. Even if they could afford to spend a week's wages per can of powder, it is simply not promoted there, so they know nothing of it. All they know is that babies need milk, and the best milk is mother's milk. In the event a mother is unable to breastfeed--physically unable, and only about 2% of women are truly unable--a wet nurse would step in. For the rest, there are no teas, cookies, tinctures, or special diets. They just nurse.

Speaking of special diets! There isn't one. If foods and such are to dictate how much milk a mom makes, how would women in underdeveloped countries (I dislike the term "third world" for some reason) breastfeed? They barely have enough to eat themselves, so they certainly cant follow some diet of teas, cookies, and special Gatorade. In Haiti for example, nursing mothers subsist on mud cookies and whatever potable water they can find. No magic there. Don't get pulled into the hype.

THE PUMP?!

I detailed my journey with the pump here, and I spoke of my battle with D-MER. I since upgraded to this and this. I'm also quite proud to say I can hand express as well! While it's slower than a pump, it's a little easier on me some days. Plus it helps stretch time between nursing sessions when my bub is busy being a big boy. I also managed to find a bottle that he loved, because boobs aren't detachable and at about 8 or 9 months, Hubby Namastè started taking Baby Namastè out for father-son stuff. (Mainly Home Depot and Sam's Club, two places I'm more than happy to sit out!)

Just the Boob and the Babe

I had my best success of nursing when I tuned out all the contrary voices and just fed my bub on demand. We learned the breastfeeding fancy together--he learned to latch and I learned to read his cues. I had to stay confident, and stay strong in my resolve.

My goal was originally 12 months. Each time 3 months passed, I'd celebrate a little. As I said before, natural and easy don't always describe the same process!

I had a great support system, which I find to be crucial. Hubby Namastè was on board to help in any way he could. My brother even stepped in to look after Princess Namastè so she wasn't without attention during those early weeks. (Baby Namastè was born in February, so I wasn't out and about until it warmed up.) I kept in touch, and still do, with my Cuban. I surrounded myself with people who would respect my choice.

Put The Ten Toes Down

Most importantly, I limited the access of those who did not. In every family, someone either doesn't care about or doesn't want to understand the benefits of breastfeeding. The Fed is best! crowd.

Yes, fed is best. Especially because I feel like my son is being fed the best.

I would never walk up to a formula feeding mom and ask her all kinds of questions about her baby. I would definitely not shoot her nasty looks. I wouldn't imagine telling her to cover up or feed her baby in the car or a bathroom stall.

Know why?

One, I'm a decent human. Two, her baby's food is none of my business.

I had to learn to stand up for my baby's food, and his right to eat uncovered.

...and I have a solid grasp of these things.

I'm ready for all our future babies now! I'm anxious to apply this knowledge for myself, and willing to share with any moms who ask. Just as someone taught me, and took the time to answer my (which felt at times) silly questions.

My journey hasn't been exactly easy, but it's been worthwhile and hopefully it can help you gain your own footing. I know this isn't for everyone, just as formula bottles aren't for everyone.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Car Seat Safety (NamasLEARN Series, Ep. 1)

Namastè!

Just came in from one leg of my errands. In this heat, we do things in spurts. Most important items first, followed by another tour encompassing lower-hierarchy errands. Baby Namastè got a new convertible car seat recently, and he is loving all the padding. I am loving the extended rear-facing.

No...don't leave. It's one of those posts but not one of those posts. Know what I mean? I'm not here to judge your seat or pluck at your knowledge. Nah. I'm here to teach you a thing if you don't know, because I personally just learned how to correctly install my son's seat. I had the help of my girl Shawna S., a seat safety guru I had the luck of meeting in a mommy app. She took the time to walk me through this, and I feel obligated to share. While it's our choice as to what seat we use (brand-wise), it is never a choice to use it safely--we owe that to our kids. An improperly installed car seat is almost an invitation for disaster, from injuries to death. If you think that is dramatic, imagine how it would feel to see your little bub hurt or worse and know all it would have taken to lessen or prevent it was a properly installed seat. I shudder just thinking about it.

Brass tacks.

Baby Namastè's a toddler now, y'all. While he's not particularly tall or even chunky, we felt it was time to move him up to a convertible seat. His infant carrier was not a comfortable ride for him and since he's able to sit upright, he does not like being laid back in a car seat.

The seat we use is quite plush. It is a convertible seat, with memory foam padding, fully-adjustable five-point harness, and it's absolutely cozy for him. It sits up higher than his infant seat. When rear-facing, as he will be until he's at least 3 (hopefully longer!), it has a 3-position recline. Honestly I'm a bit salty MY seat doesn't do all this!

Now...as I said before, I never installed an infant car seat, a toddler seat, a booster seat--I didn't even assemble his feeding seat. Hubby Namastè and I always defer those things to the experts. In our county, the public safety officials are all very good with car seat installation, and always willing to help.

This time I decided to try my hand at installing on my own though. While those lovely officials are always willing to help, it's really something I wanted to master for myself.

But I couldn't teach myself. The YouTube videos were just aggravating. Play, pause, play, pause. Then I remembered: I have Shawna! My car seat guru. So I messaged her. She agreed to help me out, so I sent photos and info about the seat, my car's LATCH system, and all that. We walked through the process.

First, I showed her how I thought he needed to be fastened in the seat. Turns out I needed to move the head rest of his seat up one level, so the to of the straps could sit at shoulder level. Fixed that. I had the harness and chest clip correct already. (GO me!)

Note: The chest clip belongs AT CHEST LEVEL. If your chest clip is not at baby's armpit, you have incorrectly fastened it. Period. Also, the straps need to be snug. Their purpose is to protect your child in case of impact. If they are loose, your baby could be internally decapitated or ejected. Bottom line--don't defeat the safety features under the guise of comfort. A correctly fastened harness, in a correctly installed seat, is comfortable.

Ah! It felt good to know I was fastening him in correctly. As for the headrest, this was my first time using this particular seat. No better way to learn than via researching and utilizing your village's wisdom, right?

Up next, I uninstalled our other convertible seat and prepared to have a go at this one. Again, I made a beeline for Shawna's inbox. She checked my install. I had it right!

Note: I used my vehicle's side LATCH system. My vehicle is equipped with side and rear, but the side worked better for me. Please check your seat manual before using the side LATCH, as not all seat manufacturers recommend this setup.

Things I now know:

1. LATCH is an acronym for Lower Anchors and Tethers for CHildren. 

The photo below shows the tag with the LATCH indicator. It's a little baby in a seat!

They are metal hooks/links in vehicles that allow for quick, secure attachment of infant and toddler safety seats. The LATCH systems can be found in many vehicles from model year 2002 on up. (Also of interest: Simple booster seats don't have LATCH hooks, but the majority of infant and convertible seats do.)

2. The LATCH system is great for quick, secure installation, but it's a good idea to learn the belt configuration also. 

Not all vehicles have LATCH.

3. It is recommended by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration that a child rear-face until they outgrow their seat, typically around age two or three. (Click here.)

4. Think your kid is too big to rear face? 

Nah. For our particular seat, Baby Namastè can rear face until he weighs 40 pounds. A tall child can cross their legs Indian-style.

(Note: Convertible car seats don't go by height, as a child could be tall enough to forward face [Baby Namastè is not tall enough, as ours is 40 inches and he's not even 30!] BUT not weigh enough [Baby Namastè does not weigh enough to forward face--not even close.], thus negating any protection they would garner. There isn't a universal height, though--the rule of thumb is to turn them when they outgrow. I believe "outgrow" would be the point at which he could NOT comfortable cross his legs in there.

Well, why switch from an infant carrier if they can just cross their legs?!

Infant carriers are designed for newborns and infants who are immobile, honestly. Baby Namastè's had a convertible seat since he was roughly eight months old. He wanted to sit UP, but we knew he still needed to rear face. So we made the swap. With future children we will skip the infant carrier altogether, as convertible seats are generally good from 5 pounds to 100, encompassing both rear-facing and forward-facing configurations, as the seats grow with the child.

Look how comfy he is, and how his legs are. This seat will work for him, for a while yet.

5. NOT EVERYONE WHO CORRECTS YOUR SEAT POSTION/HARNESS/CHEST CLIP IS JUDGING.

Anyone who ever posted a carseat photo can attest--there will either be kudos for a job well done OR someone will point out a flaw. If the person pointing out that flaw, also takes time to help you fix it, they aren't judging you. (Of course, some people just enjoy being snarky, catty, Judgy Junes--ignore those.) Instead of being offended, look at the seat. Look at the straps and chest clip. Look at how it is secured in the car, whether by LATCH or belt system. If something is amiss, put your feelings and pride to the side and FIX IT. Of course there are snarks--but there are also people online who care to point out something that obviously you and the other people around you in your actual life, have missed.

6. Car seat safety is not negotiable.

It isn't an á la carte deal. It means nothing if you have the chest clip in the correct spot but the straps are too loose. Rear-facing means nothing if the child isn't properly harnessed. Height and weight mean absolutely nada if the child is not in a correctly-secured seat.

7. Comfort is in the eye of the beholder.

Baby Namastè doesn't like his seat. When we first fasten him, we get the "noooooo" melody. He harmonizes it via the "ouchie" ad-libs to form what we dubbed, "The Car Seat Chorale." However, as soon as he's in and has gotten settled with his ellie, his Topsy turtle, and his book of the day, he is fine.

Does he look uncomfortable in his pics? No. Because he isn't. He's accepting of his seat, and because we opted for a model with memory foam padding, he is indeed cozy there. You see, children learn to be content in their seats once they realize two things:

A.) Mom and Dad aren't backing down about this.

B.) This isn't so bad! It's my own little spot, and I am safe and cozy here. (Check out his grin!)

Baby Namastè usually ends up having a nap if we are in the car more than 20 or 30 minutes. (In Georgia this is the norm--traffic is pretty thick, and we live in a suburb that is just off the beaten path. We don't really have anything that's a hop and skip, honestly, due to the highway and constant traffic.)

I hope this served two purposes: to provide you with a framework for your own car seat installation prowess, and to show you the village mentality.

Our children are our own, but no single person is ever born knowing 100% how to parent. My favorite quote, one I got from my sweet Grandma:

Every time a baby is born, a mother is.

Each new stage presents a new step in the learning dance that is, parenting.

All that being said...PLEASE check your car seats. Make sure they are age-appropriate. (A one-year-old has no business in a booster and a child under 40 pounds has no business forward facing. Be as mad as you wish, the truth doesn't alter to soothe anyone's ego.) Please make sure the chest clip is at armpit level and the harness is snug.

Also... Jackets and blankets do not belong under the harness. Aftermarket products (pullows, strap covers, cushions) don't belong on your seat period. Skip the extras, moms and dads. Used correctly, the seats are NOT uncomfortable and adding excess padding and such can actually lead to seat malfunction or even suffocation of your baby!

Don't do it because I said so...do it because it's right, it's safe, and it's the law. But most importantly, do it because your baby is the most precious gem you will ever have. Whether you have one or ten, each is priceless and deserves to be kept as safe as possible.

Safety is love in Castle and Chariot Namastè.

Anywhere, really.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Locked In. (A Parent's Nightmare)

Namastè!

Wasn't a very Namastè-ful night around here, sheesh. I did not sleep well.

Baby Namastè is at that busy, into-everything stage.

Yesterday evening he decided to get into some bigger, more advanced mischief.

He. Locked. Himself. In. Our. Bedroom.

That cry is one I'd pay good money to have never heard. I woke up in several cold sweats last night, upset about the what-ifs.

There's only one practical way into our bedroom: the door! The windows are two stories up. Naturally, the window was locked and of course, he inadvertently vetoed our access via door.

When out attempts to sort of jimmy the door with the old credit card trick didn't work, we tried the old butter knife trick.

Throughout our tricks and fancies, Princess Namastè talked and sang to him via one of our monitors. Despite the banging and thrashing we put on the door, he stayed relatively calm. But...

Every second felt like an hour.

I ended up calling our local public safety officials while hammering the crap out of the doorknob. I mean straight John Henry status hammering. My arm is sore this morning. I feel like I hammered in the morning, like I hammered in the evening...

I digress.

I had our fire department on the line as I was bashing the door. Before they could send out the truck, we gave that door one good whack.

It opened.

Not without rendering my door completely useless, mind you. That thing is over. Donezo. Kaput. The knob is currently in irreparable pieces. The door itself is hanging a little funny.

...but my little bear! Oh, my sweet, albeit terrified, baby ran straight to me and he was okay. He was a little shaken up of course, and red as a tomato from crying.

Easily the longest 7 minutes from my life.

I'd smash that door a million times.

My mistake? The one I alluded to in the title?

Well, dears, here it goes...

I underestimated my kid.

He was not unattended. He was playing within my immediate line of vision. This house is past well baby-proofed--everything is gated, locked, or buffered. Baby Namastè is never left to his own devices. I can literally always see him. However yesterday I blinked. I literally took my eyes off him for half a second to have a bite of my snack, and in that split second he locked the room door.

Note: Even when he is NOT in my immediate sight, I use a multi-camera monitor, so I can always see where he is in a room, and thanks to the zoom feature I can see exactly what he is getting up to.

But our vigilance and our high tech monitoring system is not always a match for the spontaneous ideas of a toddler.

I'm human. I am still shaking, all these hours later. I'm tempted to put him in the carrier and kangaroo it all day. I keep thinking about the what-ifs, the outcomes in the darker side of this. I could still hear that pitiful, scared cry in my dreams last night. When we got the door open, he ran straight for me, reaching up.

He wanted mama those 7 minutes. I couldn't get there. For 7 whole minutes he was terrified and alone.

Alas, he has recovered, from what I see anyway. He has been staying close to us, but still playing. Still full of smiles. Still talking! He is not nearly as traumatized by his afternoon antics as we were.

All that to say this:

1. Babyproof. Start early.

2. Get pool noodles for the doors. Cut them, put the up high on each door,  and breathe easier because babies and toddlers can neither reach them to take them off NOR close the doors with noodles attached.
They don't damage anything and cost like a buck.

I'll spend more than a buck to get this door replaced for sure. I'll certainly be adding a couple bucks to my expenditure to get these pool noodles though!

3. Most important of all--don't underestimate your kid. Ever.

They are often faster and smarter than we think.

I'm about to make myself a quick breakfast now, and make a smoothie for my littlest bear. Another day of outsmarting the toddler awaits!

I'm glad. I am often outdone by toddlerdom, but I wouldn't change it.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Super Refreshing Idea! (A Recipe Post)

Namastè!

I just brought my little bears in from getting a little sun.

Vitamin D is a must, and all it takes is a little sunshine to give yourself a recharge.

Note: Consult with your healthcare team for actual medical advice. I am a mom blogger, not an MD. What works for and is approved for Family Namastè won't always wash the same for you. Please stay aware!

Anyhoo...

I now have Baby Namastè relaxing in his Boppy with a cuppa of fruit water!

A little background: Baby Namastè is not interested in commercial fruit juices. He still drinks primarily breastmilk; almond, cashew, or coconut milk; and water. I'm not troubled at all about him not caring for juice, as I prefer to limit the sugar and artificial coloring. Even the most palatable commercial fruit juices are somewhat processed, and while I'm not a food devil I like to give him as much natural, whole, real food as possible.

Enter, a bunch of blueberries and blackberries we happen to have at home! They are garden fresh and so so good. We froze a few bags so we could enjoy that summer sweetness even after the bushes are bare again...*happy sighs*

I digress.

I thought he might like something different after playing in the sunshine this afternoon, so I put a toddler-friendly spin on something I often drink myself.

Fruit water!

I took one of his cuppas and put

4 ounces of water in it. Then I added
4 frozen blueberries,
2 frozen blackberries,
1 drop of lemon juice, and
1 drop of honey.

I then capped the cuppa and gave it a good shake.

The fruit chills the water. As it's being shaken, the fruit gets smashed up and flavors the water. The honey and lemon bring out the flavor of the berries.

Note: DO NOT GIVE HONEY TO A CHILD UNDER ONE YEAR OF AGE. PERIOD. Be mindful of your family's allergy history as well when offering fruit to children, especially the first time.

Also be mindful of the serving size! Baby Namastè is 16 months old, but he gets 4 ounces of this, once a day. Even healthy foods can cause obesity if not served in proper portions.

This is not a rigid recipe and is open  to interpolation.

I'll be trying it with other fruits. We always keep some on hand. Tomorrow I will make him some with pineapple, mango, and a little coconut water. Maybe his dad will make some with strawberries, oranges, papayas, and bananas.

enjoyed immensely, especially eating the fruit after he drank the water. He enjoys berries, especially blueberries and blackberries. It was like a double treat!

He's now cool and refreshed. He's had a good bath and a better drinka, so he is content, clean, and cool.

I hope this helps shake the refreshment scene up in your family!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡