Sunday, September 23, 2018

If Toddlers Ain't Your Cup of Tea...

Everyone loves babies.

They're sweet, portable, and generally stay exactly where you put them. They're either happy or not, and it takes little more than a feeding, snuggle sesh, or fresh diaper to set them right when they're aggy.

Them toddlers?

Bro.

Toddlers eat, sleep, and breathe chaos. They haven't figured out the world, so they wreck shop until things make sense. (Usually around age 19 or 20?! I don't know, my oldest is only 12 and she's still an adorable little pain in my butt!)

I've yet to meet a person who doesn't like to spend lots of time with babies.

Toddlers don't always stir that kind of admiration.

(Well, I actually dig them--they're hilarious.)

As cute kids go, mine are top notch. Especially my toddler. (Can I say that here? Sure I can.) He's talking now and learning just everything, and he still has the most adorable mixups sometimes. The mispronunciations alone often curry him a fair amount of favor when his antics have been less than adorable. He's a great little kid.

He's also full of questions and energy. The energy doesn't end and the questions play on a 24-hour loop, save the few hours he sleeps or eats. He's a sleep talker as well, so yeah...not a lot of down time.

Dad Namastè is pretty unflappable as long as the kids aren't wasting money or food. If they aren't tossing the family coin out like the prodigal spawn, he's unbothered as heck and doesn't bat an eye. I on the other paw, am not quite so chill but still manage to be pretty damn lax about 90% of their stuff. I'm the disciplinarian and keeper of law, so I can't be totally noodly. They'd take over!

I digress.

One main reason I don't like to leave them with anyone, is people are crappy. My toddler is a handful in that delightfully grey-hair-inducing way that toddlers often are. He's sweet as candy and smart as a whip--but he's still a toddler, which means he's automatically a little bit of an asshole too.

I would hate to have to hurt anyone because they mistreated my kid, y'all, and it would break my heart to know he was somewhere being nagged and harped on just for being a kid! He will ask questions. He will ask them again. He will have his moments and then he'll be fine. None of that makes him bad or unmanageable--it just makes him TWO. Not terrible, not problematic. He's a little person with big feelings and ideas, and he's navigating this world on the best terms he's got.

Note: I'm in favor of discipline, but I also know my son has only been alive for two years. He has NOT had time to master etiquette, nuclear physics, and the finer points of chess. HE IS FLIPPING TWO. I don't let him run amok, but I also know he's got to be allowed some space to be a toddler. You know, wreck shop within safe confines and parameters.

I generally steer clear of any sitters, but especially for him. Because he's at the age where running, jumping, and being loud are the order of the day, I don't like to leave him or have him around anyone who doesn't have patience for this stage, because he's gotta grow through it and I refuse to have him dampened or God forbid hurt because an adult couldn't find their patience.

As such, he's never had an official babysitter. Or even an unofficial one. I'm not prepared for jail time, y'all. The news plus humans in general have me all-too-happy that I don't actually need anyone to watch over him. His sisters either, because one is entering the preteen territory and one will soon be an annoying toddler.

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