Namastè!
A couple weeks ago, Baby Namastè hit a pretty big milestone. He can now drink from a straw!
Or is it a big milestone? He's nearly 18 months old and most babies do that at what, 6 to 8 months?
Well, yes, on both counts.
Baby Namastè was born with a cleft palate. The roof of his mouth was basically split. So suckling and drinking have required a little more work for him.
I shared the pic that day, chuffed as punch. My little bear had finally gotten that one thing down pat, and since he speaks very well for his age, we are confident he's left the effects of that cleft palate in the dust.
Of course, people were curious as to why we were that excited about a straw!
When our baby bear was tiny, getting his latch right was harrowing. The cleft palate makes suckling difficult, and can make breastfeeding a nightmare! Add to that his lip tie, and there you have it: a perfect recipe for disaster.
But there was no disaster. We had the cleft repaired, and we worked with lactation consultants and our pediatrician to make sure our little bear could nurse, and later eat, effectively.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"You never said a word!"
"I had no idea!"
...correct.
I didn't want the attention, first off. I'm a very private person. (Yes, bloggers can be private people. *chuckle*) I did not want people rushing us with questions, suggestions, and/or horror stories. I didn't want his situation to become a public event, because it was exactly not!
My baby was not born to be a hashtag. (Except maybe #awesome or #wildman... those fit him to a tee!)
"But you could have been an inspiration to someone!"
I could, still, it it's meant to be. But! In the midst of dealing with what he needed, being an inspiration or trending topic was not even a thought.
Note: We do care about others and their lives. We just don't feel the need to make our own life, a teachable moment or parable. We just want to live, period. If you take inspiration from that, great. If not, also great--we didn't sign up for that pressure, so we're fine behind the scenes.
So...we just dealt with the cleft and are happy to report, our boyo is as happy and as healthy as can be.
We're we ashamed?
NO.
We know the value of good inspiration. We know how sometimes all it takes is for one family to share their story of triumph to keep another million families going! We absolutely know how all it takes is a flicker of hope...
But honestly, we also know we don't want the static of a public life. (No more than we already lead.) We don't want people stopping us in public, asking a million questions or offering a million suggestions. We don't want our kids' loves to be for public consumption.
We DON'T want the spotlight.
You're probably appalled at this point, wondering why I said anything at all. A blogger who doesn't want publicity?! Gotta be lying.
Nope. I generate my share of publicity, but I'm careful as to what the publicity stems from. I do not kindle the fire with my personal affairs. Ever. The most intimate goings-on of my family's day to day life, are never fed as fodder for SEO and popularity. I generate my buzz by being an engaging, entertaining writer. Or at least, I try...
We would be more appalled if our son could not play at the park without someone asking to see his scar. Without adults clamoring to see him. Without the sometimes unwanted attention that comes with being a "celebrity." We would be more appalled if somewhere down the road, our kid began to feel the other side of being a hashtag.
See, when a baby or kid is sick or facing a particularly harrowing condition, it's natural for people to clamor. They want to spoil and coddle that child, and make sure that child has a wonderful experience despite their "plus one." They want that child to feel as special as can be!
Then that child heals or outgrows the condition.
On the other side, there isn't as much attention or accolade. There aren't adoring "fans" flocking to double tap and thumbs up the child's every move. Some children don't handle that lack of attention well.
...it's almost like what happens to child actors. Some can handle it, but some cannot. Some grow up well adjusted, while others become terrors--self-absorbed, narcissistic, entitled, and spoiled.
Note: This was OUR choice. It's what worked for US. Some families are perfectly comfortable sharing their journeys publicly. (As a blogger I share a fair glimpse of ours as well!) We just were not comfortable sharing as play by play of this particular part of our life. It is our son's journey, and the positive culmination is his to share or not share. We won't take that from him.
We preferred to err on the side of caution and skip that roulette altogether. Our boyo had the privilege of great medical care, and great follow-up, and he's perfectly fine now. Not that his cleft palate was ever considered a sickness. It's just how he was born, and we decided it would be much easier on him to repair it.
He'll get to go through life known as Baby Namastè.
Not "cleft palate survivor" or "the baby from the crept palate posts"!
That's more important to us. That he has a chance to carve out his own identity.
That's also why neither be nor his siblings names are ever mentioned here. If you know me, you know them--yet while some of their anecdotes and achievenents are shared, I make a point to respect their privacy and foster their right to form their own identities. I chose to have a blog and be a part of social media, but they haven't made those same choices yet.
Right now they are my camera shy, "mom don't say that online" little bears.
They are NOT hashtags. And they won't be, unless they decide to.
Namastè!
-- Tayè K. ♡°
No comments:
Post a Comment