Monday, January 16, 2017

Hey. STOP. You're Being Rude.

Namastè!

The more I get into this blog, the more of myself I share. I get lots of questions by email and messenger, and I am always chuffed when people take the time to ask me anything.

...but I'm not too happy when they ask rude things.

Before I dive in, let me be clear. A few definitions, just to clarify why certain things rub me wrong.

Rude
ro͞od/
adjective
1.
offensively impolite or ill-mannered.
"She had been rude to her boss."
synonyms:ill-mannered, bad-mannered, impolite, discourteous, uncivil, ill-behaved, unmannerly, mannerless;

Prejudice
ˈprejədəs/Submit
noun
1.
preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
"English prejudice against foreigners."
synonyms:preconceived idea, preconception, prejudgment

Now that those are spelled out and defined, let's jump into today's thought.

As you know, Hubby Namastè and I hail from two different parts of the world. Not just two neighborhoods, or two states, but two countries.

I am a Jamaica-spiced southern belle. My darling is from India by way of a beautiful but tiny village in Sri Lanka.

When most people think of India, I imagine they think of spicy food, the Taj Mahal, and arranged marriage.

Ah, arranged marriage.

That's really a thing, a deep-rooted cultural thing I'm not entirely qualified to explain in depth.

However, that deep-rooted cultural thing has nothing to do with Hubby Namastè or me. We are a typical couple. We met, he liked me enough to pursue and propose, and I liked him enough to say YES. We love each other enough to navigate life's terrain together, both the treacherous and the tame.

I am very aggravated when people are rude and prejudiced. I can think of a million other things to ask a couple when I meet them, but insinuating they are somehow not legit is something I would never do.

To clear up any confusion, and satiate any appetites for the none-of-your-business tidbits some thrive on, here's a short list of FAQs. (I'm quite dismayed that they are frequent, considering every town we haunt is small at best!) I'm a good sport so here, for your enjoyment and information. In no particular order, here are the questions humans need not ask me again.

1. I am not a mail order bride.

2. Yes, my in-laws are kind to me. (I actually call them "in-LOVES" because while we are related by law, we associate by LOVE.)

3. NO, I'm not forced to be a housewife. I'm not forced to do anything.

4. While my husband generally appears fairly serious, he is the kindest soul in the world. He is not domineering, abusive, trunculent, any of that.

5. NO. It isn't a paper marriage.

6. No, it is not an arranged marriage. We arranged our day  arranged our vows, and arranged a trip afterward (10 days in NYC, slight brag moment because he spoils me and deserves the shout out!)--but our relationship is as genuine as morning breath and Sunday newspapers.

7. I dress in salwar kameez and sarees for the same reason other women dress in lingerie--to be visually appealing to my love! He likes it, so I wear it. Plus I look smoking while wearing it, and I cannot argue with anything I look smoking hot while wearing.

8. Yes, I understand his languages. All 5.

9. Also yes--we speak those languages because we know others don't understand them. We typically say silly things or completely generic phrases just to stir the ire of those who look down their noses.

10. We are every bit as normal...as we choose to be. *wink*

I manage to find a bit of humor in every situation, but this one has kind of aggravated me. I'm handling it. Fairly well, actually. I'm just ever hopeful these kinds of interactions will diminish exponentially, expeditiously.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

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