Friday, November 2, 2018

To Bathe...

My kiddos have been tucked in their beds for a few shakes now. They had a quick snack, their nightly bath, and now they're snoozing. The best feeling is looking at the monitor view pad and seeing my little loves all cozy and comfy. We made it another day.

We have a routine around here, and the nightly bath is an integral part of that.

Why am I yammering about baths?

Wel, I stumbled across an article today where actress Kristen Bell shared that she had been "shamed" for not showering her sons for 4 to 5 days. They were on a camping trip, so it's natural that they didn't have access to much more than a basic field latrine. Read: porta-potty.

Because I myself have been on trail rides, camp outs, and cattle counts, I know being in the field usually means you won't get a shower for a day or maybe more. That's common. Normal. Expected. No one roughs it while lugging around some luxury bath equipment. At best, you'll get to wash in a stream. At worst, you dig a hole for your business and make do. (BAD pun.)

The comments on the article kinda grossed me out though. Here were hundreds if not thousands (I didn't read them all--it was just before bath time and I am the supervisor of that magical hour.) of women proudly announcing their days and in some cases weeks without basic hygiene.

I get it. Mommy'ing is some of the hardest, most demanding work we can undertake. It's often  thankless. We don't get time for luxurious soaks unless we have hired help--and even some of us who have help, still don't get an hour or two to loaf around because we're either at work or in the trenches with our hired nannies and sitters.

...but to just not wash?

Nah, I can't. 

I know all about immunity building and proper skin care. I know soaps can be very drying. I know the average infant or toddler who does not spend large clusters of time outside the home, exposed to multiple strains of who-knows, does not require a full sanitization every ten minutes. I know newborns don't need much bathing at all, save the wipe-downs and sponge-offs needed to keep them fresh and comfy.

I also know that "not bathing" thing is NOT for my family. We don't get into bed in clothes we've worn outside, and we wash at each day's end. Because of the nature of my husband's job (he's around people and their germs all day every day), he washes as soon as he comes in every evening. As for the kids, we give them baths at night to help them relax for bed (beats drugging them with supplements, inebriating them with essential oils, or fighting the nighttime fussies) as well as let them burn the last bit of energy from the day.

We don't toss them in the tub even ten minutes. That'd be crazy. We don't freak out if a child falls asleep before bathtime and is too tired to get a wash.

But again...

I don't comprehend how a person can be comfortable just kinda festering in their own dirt.

Before anyone points out the various reasons I can't speak on it, allow me to say this:

If I don't have time to wash myself, I don't have time to be on Facebook or any other social media. I don't have time to defend my choice. I don't have time for something as basic as simple hygiene, so I don't have time to chew the fat about why it's cool or okay.

Of course,  now someone will point out the fact that my husband is a present, active figure.

This is true, BUT he works 16 OR MORE hours per day. When he gets in, he does help out with whatever childcare chores remain. But I generally prefer he rest. After all, he's bringing home the bacon. I work as well, but my work is in the glorious home, which allows me to be the primary caregiver for the darling kids. It's demanding and I work the same 16 OR MORE hours per day--but I can take a nap or go to the playground during my shift. He can't, such is life. He's simply not home enough for anyone to throw up the "but your husband helps you get a breather" card.

I guess the lack of hygiene thing irks me because the newer parenting trends seem to lean toward dressing the kids up, but not really raising them up. If they aren't taught cultural norms like hygiene and manners, how will they navigate life beyond the crib?

Moms are so busy trying to have boozy popsicles and Pinterest-perfect nurseries and dinners, or Instagram-shattering lifestyles, that we are losing sight of what we have been so blessed to do: raise these kids!

It's a heavy crown being responsible for fostering and forming another person's entire belief system, from anders to hygiene to work ethic, but let's wash our hair and do it anyway.

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