Verydice?!

So I went down the rabbit hole.

I've been doing a lot of stealth scrolling on my social media--once I do my official posts, I log into my personal page and scope the scene so to speak. I love reading the articles and I've got a few favorite blogs that I follow faithfully, and when I have free time I catch up and check out what's happening.

Almost inevitably, someone will mention their Verydice code in the comments.

I had no idea what Verydice was, so I'd keep scrolling.

The ones sharing always mentioned how they got free items for playing this game. They would also mention how if you registered with their code, you'd get free rolls.

Admittedly I used to be pretty annoyed by those posts. Especially as I was reading a breastfeeding article (don't EVER interrupt my breastfeeding articles, bro) and saw a Verydice pitch.

But because it was super wee hours, and Tiger Lily was showing no signs of sleep, I decided that would be the moment I investigated it further. I'd get on Verydice and win me some stuff.

So...

I joined. I used a code from one of those "annoying" comments and got my free rolls.

It's a simple dice game. You hold a spot on the screen and roll the dice. Each pip on the dice equals one ticket. So if you roll a 3 and a 1, you would get 4 tickets.

There's also little bonus games for when you roll doubles. Any doubles of 5 and below get a basketball game. (Kinda...no, exactly like, the one in messenger or iGames.) You flick a basketball into the goal and receive bonus tickets for each successful shot. (I've gotten up to 10!)

If you roll double 6, you get to play a shooter game. Think old school arcade games--the space one where the screen auto-scrolls and you destroy obstacles by shooting, or avoid them by moving left or right.

There's a doubles jackpot that you can cash out every 24 hours.

Rolls can be won every 24 hours with a spinner. The top amount is ten, but you'll receive at least one. If you don't want to wait for the spinner, you can of course purchase them.

They offer surveys and offers you can complete for free rolls too. The offers involve things like downloading apps and reaching specific levels or achievements, or purchasing magazine subscriptions, or things like that.

There's a couple ways to get those rolls, so you can accrue those tickets and get those prizes!

As far as those prizes...

You can actually redeem the tickets for a WIDE variety of items. Most people in the comment sections of the articles I read usually advertise the baby products and toys. (I read a ton of parenting articles, so yeah.) They offer diaper, grooming items, toys, and lots of cute little baby toys too.

There are also gadgets and gizmos, cartoon items, electronics, clothing, and even candy.

The inventory seems to change periodically too, so it isn't always the same lineup.

Cashing out those tickets will likely take me a long while though, honestly. I thought I was moving along nicely until I realized I have only about 1600--and even the small items are 2000 tickets.

The items are paid for completely with tickets. Shipping is free. I haven't ordered anything yet  (I'm still ticket poor, *chuckles*), but from what I've seen inside the app, items arrive in just a few days.

...

Is it as great as people claim?

I don't know yet. I am ticket poor, and I haven't cashed out yet. I do have an item I'm saving for, and it's 40,000 tickets, but that would likely take a few weeks tops. (Which isn't bad! Still a free item, no shipping, and all I'll do is play a game when I have time?! Schwiiiiiing.)

Would I ever actually purchase tickets?

Probably NOT. I don't spend money in game apps. (Only the Google Play credits I get from the Google Rewards app--they give you credits in exchange for answering short surveys.)

Take my friend code and give it a shot!

3861733

For the CULTCHA!!!

Note: I absolutely spelled culture, CULTCHA, on purpose. Get into it, because I'll probably keep doing it. It's how I pronounce it anyway, and I'm trying to be a little more personal with this all. That means I might not use my school grammar all the time, and

Namastè!

...because that's part of my personal culture. *winks*

Now. This whole breastfeeding life has me hooked. I'm obsessed with reading and researching. I'm obsessed with trying to teach and share and encourage. I'm obsessed, in particular, with pouring this knowledge and all these warm wishes into my fellow Black women.

That's not to exclude anyone else...bear with me though, because before I can save the world, I gotta take care of home FIRST. Like, I can't give a bottle to the baby in the park while my own baby screams her head off for her milk and my arms. Don't let the mention of actual race frighten you here. Absorb it, and maybe help me fix the disparities here.

Do it for the CULTCHA.

Or just let me do this, and don't be a thorn. My own culture is the rose here. I must nurture it.

My culture, Black women in the US, hurts as far as breastfeeding is concerned. Here's some numbers I've dug up...

As of August 2018 (the most current info I was able to dig up when this post slammed itself into my mind--it was a real gotta write moment), the CDC reports that only 58.9% of Black women had ever breastfed at all, compared with 75% of White women. That doesn't take into account any particular milestone, just that a baby was latched to the breast.

We start out behind the curve. But it gets deeper.

Add to that our higher infant mortality rate--due to lack of and or insufficient prenatal care, our little ones are more likely to be born too small, too soon, or too sick.

THEN add the fact that our experiences with lactation consultants can often be lackluster or even detrimental. See, the field of lactation professionals is like a snowy landscape, dotted with the occasional Black or Brown consultant. Because we are not yet well-represented in this field, we are often faced with trying to work with a nurse or LC who doesn't understand the cultural, economical, and social constraints we may face in addition to the physiological and emotional aspects of breastfeeding. There's so much that can affect it. A person who doesn't understand your path, can't help you walk it.

Now add in the unique cultural associations Black women face when we set out to breastfeed.

1. Many of us are not even offered information on it, beginning with our upbringing! We grow up seeing babies with formula bottles, even when the parents of those infants cannot actually afford said formula.

2. We are conditioned to believe our bodies, or breasts in particular, are for sex and aesthetic.  Period. That means we associate them with carnal pleasure only. And once you are conditioned to view your body only that way, you have a difficult time deprogramming that mindset and understanding that breasts are for feeding infants first!

Note: It's fine to look appealing. I'd be lying if I didn't acknowledge that breasts are part of the feminine aesthetic! I'd also be dead wrong if I didn't acknowledge and impart their FIRST purpose--to feed infants.

3. We don't get the right support, unless we live and or receive medical care in an area that's predominantly not Black or Brown.

I live in Georgia, in Gwinnett County. Peachtree Corners, which is right on the border of the coveted Johns Creek area. The "good side of the tracks" so to speak. I have private pay insurance. When I walk into my OB/GYN's office (or even my kids' pediatrician's office), I see bright colorful posters of moms breastfeeding. I see pamphlets providing information about the benefits of breastmilk.  The doctors and nurses extol the benefits of breastfeeding at practically every appointment. They celebrate it and offer resources to boost moms' success rates! The hospitals are baby friendly and further push breastfeeding into the eyes and minds of the families there.

But I also lived in Albany, before Tiger Lily was born. My husband relocated for work, and after a few haphazard months of trying to work through the 3-plus hour commutes and extremely limited family time, I joined him. But Albany isn't the same kinda town as my sweet Peachtree Corners. Not by a long shot. My doctor never mentioned how I would be feeding her. The hospital was supposedly baby friendly but the nurses were not overly concerned with helping me breastfeed. If I didn't know how, I would have been on my own to learn because they simply watched the baby latch (thank goodness she got it) and informed me that I could call the nurse if something didn't feel right. There was no actual lactation consultant, only a nurse who admitted that she only had her own breastfeeding personal experience but no formal lactation consultant training. (Would be the blind leading the blind, eh?)

I distinctly remember them calling me "Miss Atlanta" and kinda snickering amongst themselves because what had become a norm for me (doctors and nurses giving the best information regardless of perceived socioeconomic status) seemed to be over the top to them.

4. Perhaps the most difficult--we have a lot of past baggage regarding breastfeeding.

I call it the Mammy Complex.

Black women were wet nurses during slavery, having to nurse the master's children before their own or face brutal beatings and death--assuming they hadn't been separated from their own newborns yet, because babies were sold as well.

Fast forward a few decades. (It really isn't that far removed.) Because of those emotional traumas, and to provide the same things to their babies as their White counterparts, Black women embraced formula.

(I personally believe not breastfeeding was a way for them to reclaim their bodies and take a stand for their ancestors. Kinda like, "Look, great grandma. They can't take it away from us now. And our babies are getting the same "better" options as theirs.")

5. Despite the fact that all science is doing is trying to recreate breastmilk, and despite the fact that every formula can states "breast is best," Black women have embraced formula BECAUSE BUYING IT INDICATES A WEIRD SOCIOECONOMIC ADVANTAGE. Outside the cultural aspect and what I call generational trauma, we have been raised to think that formula is fine.

It is fine. It's fine in the same way 27-cent packs of Ramen and other inexpensive processed foods are fine. When you are hungry, you take--usually quite happily--what you get. Babies cannot choose, so if mom has decided on that formula, then that's what baby adjusts to and accepts.

While we might go out and get the most expensive brand of formula, touting the most health benefits, the closest one to MILK WE ALREADY CAN MAKE, we  miss an important point: formula will never be tailored to our child by development, and feeding them formula just because we can afford it is not really putting us ahead.

It's weird, yes?

...

Clearly I can go on, but I'll leave those bits for you to chew on right now.

When I say I do this first for my babies, second for the CULTCHA, I mean it.

The benefits to Black moms (any moms, but I'm talking about us here) simply seeing other Black moms breastfeeding and sticking to it, are immeasurable. I'll cover that in another post because I don't want this to run too long. We live in a 140-character world these days and I don't want to bore anyone...

But this CULTCHA.

I do it for us, but I also do it for us.

I always imagine, when I start to think about quitting (and I do--as does every breastfeeding mom), I remind myself of three things.

1. This is the only time I can truthfully say that something I do purely for my own kids, can help someone else. As I said, we need to see ourselves represented in this journey. Someone had to start the ripple, and I have to do my part to make it continue.

2. As we return to our natural hair and eat better foods ourselves, the natural progression must continue: we need to go back to feeding our babies their perfect food, whether we feed directly or express and use a good bottle. Returning to natural means we need to take our babies too, right?

3. As personal as breastfeeding is, it cannot be so personal that I can't share every bit of knowledge with other moms. If they receive it, that is. Triumphs and fails too.

I feel responsible for bringing some light to it.

Oh. My. GOAT?!

Oh. My. GOAT.

Have you ever been scrolling your FB feed, innocently talking about how you wish there was a better soap available, one that didn't break you out? And then that one ad pops up and drags your eyeballs to the corresponding site AND it's perfect?!

Just me? Oh.

Anyway...

Tiger Lily has a bit of eczema. It's on her little wrists and there's a spot on her shoulder. We've kept most of it at bay with milk baths and purified water baths--she's only used commercial soap like twice before and it didn't end well. Breastfeeding has been a lifesaver because she never had to encounter the most common irritant for a baby: formula. (Not even being a prick, it's just a known fact that formula can be particularly hard on babies with allergies and/or eczema.)

I make plenty, but that's roughly 60 ounces a week. (One day's pump haul, give or take an ounce.)

*le sigh*

While I wouldn't dare sacrifice her skin for the sake of a sweet scent, I have been wishing she could have a sudsy bath. Just a few, not necessarily a tub full of foam. She hadn't had a bubbly bath at all, because she bathes only in milk or purified water. She gets coconut oil as a moisturizer when needed. Her routine is super simple, but it's kept her skin clear.

Anyway again...

I was beyond stoked to see the O My! Goat ad, so I reached out to get some info.

Note: The products mentioned in this post were provided in exchange for an honest review, but the experiences and opinions expressed are mine and mine alone.

Because I know goat's milk is the gentlest of all the farm animals, and can be right lovely for skin, I wanted to try a bit on my little flower. Alas, I no longer have a goat. (Rest in paradise, Pickles!)

O My! Goat was a swift rescue.

My package arrived within days.

Note: These products are NOT advertised as hypoallergenic. I decided to try them with her after careful research and lots of consideration.

Because I love citrus, and Tiger Lily has an oatmeal lotion infused with a citrus essence, we were super excited to get the basil citrus soap.

The soap is very pretty, in a natural kinda way. You can see the swirls of milk. It's all natural, and I could pronounce and identify all the ingredients.

Suds?

YES. Very light lather. Sweetly scented and clean-rinsing.

Prior to bath time, I tested a tiny patch of skin on the back of her knee. Over the course of a few hours, nothing happened. (She flames up almost instantly if something irritates her skin. She's got a sensitive pelt in the worst way, y'all.)

I was thrilled. Also, she smelled so sweet (even sweeter than usual--she's still a baby and well-kept babies almost always smell sweet.)

Now... Tiger Lily LOVES her baths. She enjoys the warm water, and she likes her ducky. But she hadn't had suds before because I wasn't willing to set off a flare-up for a few minutes of splashing in foam. *sad face*

The goat's milk soap lathered up nicely. It's gentle--rinses right off, yet cleanses well. My little one really enjoyed her first bath with soap in months.

After her nath, NOTHING. No itching. No redness. No dryness.

That was a huge deal. Especially the moisturizing part. I typically give her a bath every other day, and keep her well moisturized with copious amounts of coconut oil. (Parachute to the rescue!) While I still used some, it wasn't nearly as much as normal. Her skin wasn't flaking and peeling at all. (Sometimes it does after a bath, which is why she doesn't get immersed every day.)

....

A week in, she is still comfortable and her skin is as soft and clear as ever. She doesn't use medication this far--we manage her eczema by carefully watching what she eats (she's still getting lots of liquid gold) and being super careful about what products we use on her delicate skin.

O My! Goat soap?!

Total win.

We are all switching to it now.

We also received the hand soap (citrus! *heart eyes*) and lotion (blackberry vanilla). As a bonus they included three lip balms--vanilla latte (my favorite), pink lemonade, and raspberry.

I typically won't boss you, dear readers. But I gotta tell you: GO ORDER THIS.

Facebook ☆ Instagram ☆ O My! Goat website

Aside from my own milk, this soap has been the only thing gentle enough to cleanse her skin without aggravating those patches. Her eczema is really odd, because it's only flaky in the visible patches yet her whole little body turns red and angry looking when it flares up. This soap was the perfect balance of natural and gentle.

I interrupt myself to show you my little flower child. Just bask in her cuteness. Look how precious... *heart eyes* And she's got a Lily! 

I can't stress that enough. Gentle!

We had been using another brand before, but it wasn't gentle. In fact it was one of the reasons we stopped using soap at all.

She can have a little suds in her bath now. *heart eyes* She also gets some extra relief. Furthermore it takes the guesswork out of skin cleansing for me, because I'm forever trying to find a good natural balance of cleanser and soother, typically with no luck.

I didn't need luck! I just needed O My! Goat ♡

I'm currently using it myself too, and I'm loving it. Hubby even joked that I had she'd my winter exterior. *side eye* He better watch it or this smoothness will be gliding around in the ugly pajamas!

Breastfeeding AIN'T A Privilege. 😒

I'm up and bleary-eyed, cuddling with my nursling. She has her feet in my bra (don't ask!) and she's contentedly watching a cow on YouTube as she twiddles her teether elephant. (Look into ChewMe Jewelery on IG, Etsy, and FB for custom teethers--they're amazing, adorable, and incredibly durable. Ours are about 3 years old and still look new. Most importantly they're still safe and still soothing the littlest Namastè.)

I digress.

I'm aware that breastfeeding is a lot of work. It's a learning process. It's a dance that both mom and baby must choreograph to suit their individual situation. It's like a second (or third?) job!

But it is NOT a privilege.

On one of my errand runs this week, I happened to feed the baby. (Fancy that, the little bird was hungry?!)  I've gotten used to people either complimenting, congratulating, or questioning me about nursing. I don't actually enjoy the attention, simply because no one would bat an eye if it were me just eating lunch or having a drink. No one ever calls me brave when I decide to have a sandwich, or tells me how beautiful it is that I'm sipping a Boba tea. They also never tell me to cover up or preach about modesty.

In general,  I'm allowed to eat and or drink to my heart's content and not a soul cares.

But on this particular trip, I heard a new one.

"You're so lucky. It's a privilege to exclusively breastfeed."

I just smiled, nodded.

I chewed on it internally though.

How is it a privilege?

Natural, yes.

Old as time? Also yes.

Privilege?

I'm not sure I see that one.

I do feel proud to breastfeed. After all, I come from a family that has not embraced it. I didn't grow up seeing breasts as anything but sex appeal, things to be covered up. Objects of either extreme modesty or outright fastness. (If a girl showed cleavage and dared talk to boys, she was exhibiting fastness and needed to be toned down, lest she end up disgraced.) Because I didn't dare exhibit said fastness, and was painfully flat, the coveted and dreaded breasts were not a real consideration for me. I'm still expected to cover up around them, which is why I'm not around them much. They still ask when I will wean, or if I've given the baby real milk yet. (I'm not entirely sure what I'm producing and pumping--perhaps it's vodka and my babies have really been actual drunk all this time instead of milk drunk!)

The pride I feel doesn't come from the act itself, but the ability.

I was never taught anything about it, this breastfeeding business. To have done so for the past 3 years and odd week or so is nothing short of amazing for me, personally.

I didn't have books in 2006, the first time I tried. I didn't have an online community. I had yet to meet my amazing friends Princess and Ashanti. I didn't have a lactation consultant.

In 2016 I had all of that. I utilized the heck out of those golden resources. I talked to those two women more, and ingested their wisdom. I researched.

I made it.

But that was not privilege.

Nope.

Privilege would mean it was all just handed to me--the perfect situation, the perfect latch, the perfect supply. The perfect support.

None of my journey has been perfect, and it certainly was not just handed to me. I didn't wake up one day with everything I know, and the support system I've got. All that had to be gleaned, garnered, gathered, and grabbed.

I'm not sure you're aware, but Black women have one of the lowest rates for breastfeeding, especially when you get into the 6 month and beyond marks. We simply do not receive the support, education, or motivation from our Healthcare teams and families.

Breastfeeding requires a mother and her baby obviously, but also some support for the mother. Someone has to be in her corner--cheering, educating, motivating and, at times, correcting her. These things don't just fall out of the sky for anyone. When a mother is too intimidated or simply uneducated on the benefits, she won't even seek them out.

So...I don't see it as a privilege.

It's something I work at, every single day.

Every time my baby latches, we learned that. Every time I pump an ounce, we earned that. Every time I can feed her in public without shame or fear, we took that. Every time that milk soothes an owie, or calms her when she is feeling out of sorts, or reinforces a bond that did not happen instantly, we own that!

Those rolls and dimples on my Tiger Lily, and the strong immune systems and early milestones she and her siblings all demonstrate, are not a privilege. Not a privilege one bit.

It's all the results of working at something we needed. It was never a want--it was a need. I needed to give them my best, but I had to work and learn and perfect it as we've gone. It still isn't textbook perfect, but it's perfect for us.

It isn't a privilege though. A privilege includes choice and control.

I didn't choose how our journey would go. I couldn't. I could only choose how I'd react, respond, and reinforce my resolve to keep going anyway.

The S9 Plus

Hey, hey, and Namastè!

If you've been following my social media (and honestly, why wouldn't you?!), you've seen me out and about with a breast pump that looks like a little cell phone.

It's in the car. It's in the house. It's everywhere.

But what is it?!

NOTE: The views and experiences detailed here are mine and mine alone. I was not compensated in any way by SpectraBaby USA for this review.

It's my SpectraBaby S9 Plus.

The SpectraBaby S9 Plus is a handheld, portable  (even more so than the S1) breastpump. It features customizable vacuum settings and the hospital quality suction SpectraBaby is known for providing at a fraction of the cost of other pumps.

I got my S9 Plus when Tiger Lily was a fresh newborn, and I haven't looked back. I was already pretty devoted to my S2, because it helped me maintain my supply. I went through some very difficult first days, as I did not want to pump too early--yet my oversupply kicked in when my baby was only 3 days old and she could barely latch because my breasts were hard as rocks and spraying her in her face.

She didn't latch for about three weeks after that, but thanks to my Spectra I was able to express feedings without tearing up my nipples (the Spectra pumps don't suck, they suckle like a baby!)

I was skeptical about the S9 Plus because it's so little. It's smaller than my Galaxy Note 5, and doesn't weigh as much as my digital camera (I have a Canon, which isn't very heavy at all). I didn't want to fall into the hype of it just because it was little and cute.

Kinda like the baby. *chuckle*

I digress, and I kid.

The S9 Plus delivers the same performance as my S1, if not better.

I won't tell you it's gonna magically have you pumping out ounces on ounces, but when compared to my Medela Sonata the S9 Plus does a far better job of emptying the b'reservoirs, and it takes less time. It's also less uncomfortable, which is always very important to me because in addition to oversupply, I am cursed with very tender nipples. It takes nothing to tear them up like hamburger meat, *sighs*

The S9 Plus is super quiet. It doesn't exactly buzz, but it doesn't hum. I can use it while I'm on the phone (and I do) and not miss a beat.

It really shines for travel. Because it's smaller than one of my phones, it sits oh-so-adorably in my cup holder in the car. It has such a slim profile that it's been mistaken by a phone more than once, and I didn't bother correcting that person. The backlight is absolutely perfect for night time on the road, as I can see to toggle my settings. I'm a big fan of the soft blue backlight. It looks super soothing and it matches my preferred Lactalite setting.

I usually charge my S9 Plus up once every 2 days or so, and the battery hangs tough. You get the same suction at full battery that you do at one bar of power, and there isn't a huge difference between its plugged in performance versus its battery only performance. (This is important--trust me.)

I've used many pumps the past (almost) 3 years. I've had portables and "desktops." I've had fancy big name brands and new guys on the block. I've even used those extra techy experimental ones. (Spoiler alert: Don't waste your money on Willow--just get settled Freemie cups. And sadly, Naya shut down; I never got my pump from pre-orders so I never got to experience it.) I am rarely truly impressed by breastpumps because the overall idea has not changed since their inception!

...but the S9 Plus does impress me. I dig it. Pumping is a chore I can't easily skip, and since I have to do it I prefer to do it as efficiently and effectively as possible. Also as comfortably as possible, and not have my day hindered by being tethered to a chair all day.