Ten Times MOM Needs A Time-out

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof this morning. I have something to share so I'm up with my poofy hair and chai, clicking away while listening to the sweet sounds of my sleeping littlest Namastè.

Mommy'ing is some hard work, y'all.

I've said that often, and it's yet to be untrue.

Sometimes we as moms need a time out. We need to unplug, unwind, and log out. In this case, I'm talking about social media. I am a blossoming social media presence myself, but I see how it can be addicting--the likes, the popularity, the validation for simply being in that space at that moment with that opinion. For moms without other interaction, it can be irresistible.

Note: I'm a blogger, not any type of expert. As a blogger, I count on social media to bolster my blog and help reach new readers. Don't take this as a stab at social media itself, because that is not my point. I won't dare say "Don't use the social media!" I don't know your situation, so I'm not here to judge. This is a general observation. (I wouldn't even give such disclaimer but someone always lurks in the shadows, waiting to take an opinion piece the wrong way.)

Beyond becoming irresistible lies addiction. Mom absolutely needs to log in. She becomes dependent on the attention and validation there in cyberspace.

I found the following to be true of moms--people in general, but especially moms, as we tend to be fairly more active online instead of venturing out with tiny newborns or toddlers. The interaction we get is valuable but it can be problematic. Let's jump right in. Notice all these statements begin with WE. ("You" statements are accusatory. "WE" statements suggest unity--there's little separating us moms in my eyes.)

1. We depend too much on the Internet for seeking "MOMpanionship."

I often say "mommy'ing is some hard work" but it is also at times some lonely work! Babies don't offer much in the way of interaction for the first few months. For moms who work inside the home that desire to have adult camaraderie can be downright stifling. (Let's be real--"stay at home" simply means you've traded your paycheck and/or uniform for a messy bun and yoga pants. You gave up the annoying coworkers and hourly wages--but you took on a neverending workload and you no longer have a guaranteed lunch buddy.) Your baby takes up the sweetest amount of time, but you still need a buddy--a MOMPANION!--to share the milestones, hits, and misses of your day. Why go out when you can log into any of thousands of social media sites and carve out your tribe!

But then we don't look for those same connections in the offline world...

2. We become obsessed with taking photos--to post online.

Every mommy loves taking pictures of her little loves. It's how we freeze the sweetest moments in time. Alas, we sometimes become dependent on the approval those pictures bring. "What a cute baby!" "Oh look at that outfit, s/he should model!" "Look at those eyes!" It's all harmless until it somehow becomes, not harmless. Sometimes moms use those validations and affirmations about her kids' cuteness to fill a void in her own heart, and that's decidedly harmful for all involved. When the pictures are no longer about CAPTURING moments and move toward staging them,  it becomes obvious the point is to please ego rather than audience.

3. We become tense/angry/anxious about the goings on in social media--as much as or more so than the things happening around us.

Social media is a wonderful little mashup of different cultures, opinions, and personalities. As such, we're bound to encounter one or two whom we don't mesh with or cannot necessarily befriend. Normal. What is NOT normal, is when we begin to feel tension, anger, and anxiety about the situations arising within these groups and applications. It is simply not healthy to tie so much energy to people we will likely never see or know beyond a screen name and what they choose to portray online.

4. Every conversation spins back to something we read or looked at online.

Perfect example--aside from reading my blog and occasionally helping with the management of my Facebook page, my husband is not into social media at all. As such, I would feel goofy filling his ears about this status or that poll. He doesn't relate to those things. When a person is obsessed or overly consumed with a thing or notion, it permeates their entire life. Social media should not do that. Mark Zuckerberg owns Facebook and probably isn't as wrapped up in it as some. Just keep in mind--grandma doesn't want to watch your viral video, and grandpa probably isn't interested in a rundown of your Twitter feed.

5. Ego. Period.

It's no secret that we all want to be liked. It's no secret that some of us simply, are! In the online world there is no shortage of celebrities and Web sensations. Going viral is a real goal for some! That's fine, because with that popularity can come a plethora of opportunities. (I can personally attest to this--as my media kit grows, so too does the list of companies who want me to use, review, or represent their offerings!)

Unfortunately that validation, that pat on the head for being good enough, can feed the ego. We get so caught up in the "celebrity" status that we forget, it's usually only online. Another example--my little blog is very well known in Georgia and among the members of Mamastè, but that "fame" doesn't translate to the level of notoriety where I sign autographs and dodge paparazzi. Ego says, BRAG ABOUT THE PERKS. Humility whispers, share them.

6. We develop an alter ego for social media to avoid being ourselves.

This one is a biggie. Social media is often an escape of sorts. We can log in and be whoever or whatever we want. Insecure, mousy types become bold and brazen. The mom who has no friends offline leads a massive clique. And in EVERY setting we have the self-appointed gurus. That's a normal mix, hence me saying "in EVERY setting." The issue here comes into play when a mom recreates herself to represent a completely different person--she creates a different name, life, and situation to escape what's really happening  (or not happening). Preferring to remain positive is one thing, but lying to people is entirely different and not at all acceptable.

7. We enjoy the attention so much, we become that overshare girl.

We all know her. We know when she last had her nails done. We know when she goes to the stores. We know when she last had sex. We're not at all stalking her, because we would not need to--she's shared and posted everything from lab reports to every emotion she's ever felt. She'll demand respect and that we don't pass judgment, but the damage will be done. She'll defend her extreme openness by saying she wants to help, to make sure other moms know they aren't alone.

There's nothing at all wrong with being an open book. It's particularly noble to share ones story to help brighten the path for others. However, we moms should consider ourselves a cut above certain things. It'd be considered crass for a man to trumpet his sex life online. Within certain forums, certain things are more acceptable, but to just freely spew the most intimate details us just a no go and very tacky in my humble opinion.

8. Even our families become fodder for the old thumbs ups.

I am one who does not post much publicly about my family, but I'm also one who understands the appeal of being relatable. (As a blogger, I do like to give you a glimpse into my world, even if just a small one! It makes what I have to say more real.)

What shouldn't occur is, the minutiae of their daily lives being trumpeted about to perfect strangers, opening them to judgments and/or criticisms they likely don't even know about. As you may know, Princess Namastè is 10 and Darling Namastè (who prefers little to no mention, anywhere, ever--period!) is 12. At their ages, they are not particularly into being fodder for my blog. They don't want "the whole world" to know about their triumphs or their shortcomings. I respect and understand this because I know they're at that point in life of figuring out who they are. While I would never share anything negative, I also have to temper my desire to brag on their achievements. My children are shy--they are just plain bashful. They don't want the world (shouts out to them for thinking the whole world reads their mama's blog!) peeking into their lives or labeling them by how I describe them. If I bragged about them, people would expect them to be perfect angels always. If I only spoke of their problems and misbehavior  (assuming there is any) they'd be deemed bad children. That's not fair to them.

9. We cannot unplug.

It is delightful to log in and find messages, comments, and reactions to our posts. It means people cared what we had to say, or at the very least that we were noticed. That's all we are here for--companionship begins with common ground after all. However when that need to check notifications morphs into an inability to unplug and step away, there's an unhealthy situation in effect. We find ourselves attending to the beeps and buzzes of our devices as quickly as we do our children's cries. The thought of logging off or unplugging for a bit is just not palatable.

10. We threaten to leave websites and groups because we want the rush of having others tell us to stay.

When we need constant reassurance, it can become a heavy load for the ones providing that reassurance. (Note: There is NOTHING wrong with needing comfort or camaraderie. Humans are wired that way. No need to get sancti!) Many times we'll withdraw at times but come back around when we feel up to the task of socializing again. However a key marker for one who is too consumed with social media is the old "I will leave!!" tactic. They announce withdrawal from a scene. Their friends rally around so they will reconsider. (Although there is no reconsidering to be done. Even if they log out for a few days or weeks, they WILL return. Period.)

Taking a break is fine! But it's almost bullying when your browbeat others into feeding your need for pity. Besides, respect goes much further than pity. (Personally I would shrink away in shame if people felt pity over me, because pity is NOT positive. It is NOT love. It is simply, "poor you. Let me be nice and gentle so you feel better.") Pity EXPIRES. Respect generally does not.

So...there are the ten reasons I think some moms need a timeout. Unplug, go outside, do something outside your comfort zone. Do something for someone else and don't tell a soul.

In everything there must be balance.

Until next time!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Natural Or BUST!

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof tonight.

I just got Baby Namastè bathed and fed. He smells like a little wisp of fresh. No perfume, no commercial scent. Just a little wisp of fresh.

I prefer to use organic, natural, and/or vegan products on Family Namastè's collective skin. I feel like that's a safer option than most of the products available.

For the most part, most natural products are as close to 100% safe as science can get. They're generally very good, also. Even so, we shouldn't just go with a product because it is touted to be all natural, organic, or cegetarian/vegan approved. As such, I do a ton of research on the items I choose for my family. I read medical journals and compare ingredients to make a sound decision.

For example, Princess Namastè has an allergy to papaya. When I am either purchasing or making skin care items (I dabble with skin butters, hair masques, and facial cleansers), I am careful to avoid papaya in even trace amounts.

When I'm getting store-bought items I pay close attention to the certifications, which I'll share with you now. For further reading and research (because while I can explain the basics to you in one post, your own research can fill your mind for a lifetime), feel free to go here.

Organic products are produced from natural components, free of chemical processes.

Vegan products are made completely without animal products. 

Vegetarian products are manufactured without animal products but  other to the strict standard required for vegan.

I prefer vegan and organic skin care products (or ingredients when I am making my own) whenever possible. I always look for the seals:

I have an exciting collaboration coming up with a certified vegan skin care line! You can get a sneak peak here or here. "Like" and "follow" so you won't miss upcoming giveaways! I never announce everything, everywhere. *wink*

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Baby Shoes??? FRESHLY PICKED please! **Review Post

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof.

Tonight I'm putting together Baby Namastè's outfits for the week and I chuckled a bit at the notion of matching his shoes.

Baby Namastè's been a stylish kid from pretty much the womb, but we didn't always have the easiest time finding his outfits. (Thank goodness he is in a 12 month top now, as that gives us more choices.)

Shoes for babies are completely for decoration. A baby who doesn't walk, doesn't really need them. I think baby shoes are pure adorable, but I've had a hard time finding cute soft-bottomed ones for my littlest one. (They need to feel the floor as they begin learning to walk--it allows them to use the muscles in their feet to get their balance. In a hard shoe, they don't use their toes and soles for balance; they only rely on the shoe.) 

Then we discovered--and collaborated with!!!--Freshly Picked moccasins. These soft mocs are so luxe! They are handcrafted of genuine leather (or suede), and they range in size from newborn to preschooler.

**This is a sponsored post, about an item provided in exchange for an honest review. While the product was sponsored, all opinions are mine and mine alone.

We got Baby Namastè, also known as Bud, his mocs back in October. Immediately upon opening the box, I was hit with that fresh genuine leather smell. You know the one! That scent that lets you know you're getting the real McCoy. 

Look at these moccasins!!! 

I took the little moccasins out and was immediately impressed. They are, for lack of better term, little pieces of suede perfection. (We got the stone suede mocs--they are a beautiful grey and fit perfectly with the baby's wardrobe.)

The detail in these moccasins is amazing.

Another look at how carefully crafted these mocs are.

I love the attention to detail in these moccasins, I cannot say that enough. They are just--so perfect and so adorable. 

I hadn't put shoes on Baby Namastè's feet much. He has little soft slippers and grippy socks. But we weren't really having luck with finding good quality soft-bottomed shoes that also looked good. We mainly saw them for little girls which is great--but we have a boy. 

When I put the mocs on his foot, he didn't squirm. In addition to being pliable, the Freshly Picked moccasins stretch and "grow" to accommodate baby's foot as they wear them. Baby Namastè doesn't walk of course, so his have probably only shaped themselves to accommodate his newfound love of standing. 

I've had so much fun dressing him up with these moccasins! He is such a handsome little darling and I love styling him, and these mocs helped put his baby debonair on maximum.

The most stylish baby in Target!

Target runs with Mom!

Pumpkin patch and 8-month photos? Effortlessly slayed.

Baby Namastè enjoying the pumpkin patch festivities.

Getting ready to announce the winner of the Namastè & Freshly Picked Giveaway.

Patiently waiting to see who won!

I'm just pleased as punch with these moccasins. They are adorable, durable, and so stylish. They aren't over-the-top. I believe they are comfortable for my son's little feet. He never fusses about them. 

When you order your moccasins, you'll need to measure your little one's feet. This is to ensure the best fit. Freshly Picked moccasins don't seem to run big or small, but they do have what I like to call a bit of flex room. They won't fit too snugly unless you order them too small. (I ordered a size 3 for Baby Namastè--he favors thicker socks, and I know these mocs will get much wear as the weather changes because they're so versatile. 

Naturally I advise socks. Baby feet sweat just like any other feet!

I truly enjoy being an ambassador for this brand, and I'm too excited to share all the giveaways and exciting sales events we have throughout the year! 

Oh my gosh, one more thing. The moccasins come with a keepsake bag for storage. It's so cute, and so thoughtful.

Thoughtful is a word that comes to mind immediately when I think of Freshly Picked. In addition to providing stellar customer care from the moment you enter the site. They answer questions as timely as possible and truly strive to ensure customer satisfaction. Most companies dont maintain contact after a sale, but you can contact Freshly Picked at any point in or after your transaction and they'll help you. 

Also--the creator of these moccasins sends a thank you letter with each purchase. I thought this was automated. I responded. She wrote back again! That was enough to secure me as a customer, period. I'm big on thank you, and I love knowing my business is appreciated. (I recently ordered two more pairs of mocs, which I'll show you as soon as they arrive!)

I hope you've enjoyed our first shoe adventure!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

The Yoomi!!! **Review Post

Namastè!

I hope you've had a wonderful holiday and are experiencing copious amounts of peace and love. My team just own the Iron Bowl  (Roll Tide!) so I am pleased as punch.

I'm so excited to share my Yoomi Feeding System experience with you!  Before I jump in. I want to say an extra special thank you to Liva, who not not only got this out to me quick as a flash, but included a lovely handwritten note as well! She made herself available to answer all my questions about the system and has been a pure joy to work with as I prepared my review and gathered info for my HoliTAYÈ Showcase.

Discolsure: This post is sponsored, but the opinions and experience detailed herein are mine and mine alone.

I have been so chuffed about this bottle since I first found it online, y'all! Baby Namastè likes his milkies warm, and since he hates bottles anyway we have a whole process getting his milkies ready if he isn't feeding straight from the b'reservoirs. It takes about 15 minutes to slowly warm his milkies. Usually we are able to get it done before he gets too agitated, but there are many bottle sessions that end in me nursing him because he doesn't like to wait.

Alas, Hubby Namastè likes feeding the baby too.

I looked into bottle warmers a couple times but never really cottoned to the idea much. When I saw the Yoomi, I was immediately interested. It's a self warming bottle! It could maintain a perfect temperature for breast milk, for up to an hour.

So imagine my excitement to actually receive it. (You can get yours here and if you type BEINGAMUMMY for your coupon code, you will receive 15% off your order at checkout.)

Now...the Yoomi is rather unassuming when you take it out of the package. It's a clear bottle with a yellow collar. It holds 8 ounces. It doesn't look much diferent than our other nursery bottle--until you pick it up. It's noticeably heavier than other bottles because right there, tucked in the nipple, is the warmer.

The warmer looks like an egg. A little egg with surface grooves and an orange button. (It is red until it's warmed.)

The egg sits inside a little rocket ship for microwaving.

Brass tacks!

The Yoomi can be used without the warmer...but where's the fun in that?!

I read over both sets of instructions and decided to try the microwave method. I was doing this around snee time (nap for the new readers), so I had about two hours to work. I followed these steps:

Once the bottle warmer was ready for use, I pushed the button. It's important to note, once you press that button it will turn blue. Then you flip the bottle and baby can begin feeding. The milkies will flow down over the grooves, warming as they go.

Nifty little addition: Printed inside the instruction leaflet is a little calendar. If you mark down the date of first use, and tick off a box for each use, you will know easily when it is time to replace your warmer. They are good for 300 uses. 

Baby Namastè, oh hater of bottles he be, took to it quickly. I suspect the warmth reminded him of his favorite "bottle" of all.

I love this bottle. I believe, tedium aside, it will be perfect for traveling! The weather has finally turned. Baby Namastè staunchly refuses cold milkies, so this will be lovely to have on hand during our seasonal road trips. I'm gonna get some additional warmers to charge up and rotate, and in a couple weeks I'll get to put this futuristic bottle to another big test--Road Trip with Baby Namastè!

I have a demo video going up over on our Facebook, where you can see my bloopers and blessings as I assemble and feed Baby Namastè from the Yoomi for the first time. (Initially we just tried the bottle without warmer--today he had the whole shebang.) The video is prerecorded in segments, then edited together. I wanted to show the process, but the charge setup takes over an hour.

I hope you enjoy!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

What's In A Name?

Namastè!

I hope you're all basking in the 'itis after a wonderful day of food, family, and fellowship.

As much as I share here about Baby Namastè, I have never spoken his name.

It isn't the usual, l-don't-want-others-to-have-his-name foolery. We don't own it, and we are not so jaded that we think that, by not revealing it, it will stay magical. No. His name will be, regardless. I doubt we will run into very many stateside.

Our family has deep Tamil and West Indian roots. After a slight hiccup in customs regarding surnames, Hubby Namastè and I followed the Tamil tradition of names after marriage. (After marriage the wife takes her husband's first name as her surname. The children follow suit. It is how each branch of  family establishes a legacy.) Needless to say, I wasn't able to logically name Baby Namastè, junior or the second. He would be Double K Junior. *chuckle*

We decided to go with naming him after his uncle, who sadly passed away a few months before he was born. That name resonated with me and I loved it's cadence. It means "rising sun" in Tamil.

Baby Namastè IS our "rising son." He is bright, he lights up our lives, he's the fire in our sky. He reminds his dad of a childhood spent with his brother, as he takes on traits of the uncle he never met. When we compare their photos, we can see the resemblance there and it's more than a passing similarity.

His middle name, Ajani, means "He who wins the struggle."

I'm not a martyr, nor do I like to rehash my worst days for teachable moments or illustration. Suffice it to say, he definitely won the struggle. Hyperemesis coupled with the stress of literally losing everything made for a very difficult gestation. Thankfully he arrived as healthy as could be, our little frank breech wonder boy.

While a lot of thought went into Baby Namastè's name, we didn't obsess over it. If we couldn't find one that we liked beforehand, we knew we would select a fitting moniker when we met him.

He's always looked like his name. It fits him. It suits his little self to a tee and I honestly couldn't imagine calling him anything else.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Cloth Diaper Adventures!

Namastè!

I hope you're all basking in this finally autumnal weather! I'm chuffed as pie myself. The fever has broken and aside from an achy chest and a barking cough, I'm feeling ALIVE again!

I call Baby Namastè my experimental baby.

Princess Namastè spent her first year of life in and out of the hospital due to her lungs. Asthma and pneumonia stole an unfair amount of my time with her in the early weeks and months. (That's why she's spoiled now--I give her so much because when she was so tiny and helpless, I felt like I was not able to give her enough!)

But Baby Namastè's been all mine from the start. So I'm not ashamed to own up to the fact that the things I missed out on with Princess, I try to catch with him.

I always wanted to try cloth diapers. Hubby Namastè's encouraged me to do whatever I see fit with regards to the kids--he is on board with my kooky parenting style and I couldn't be more thankful for that. As an added bonus, Brother Namastè (my favorite brother and the kids' favorite uncle) is always willing to make a store run when Hubby Namastè is away and I spawn a scheme or two.

Just imagine the conversation.

"Honeybunch, I want to try something new with the baby." *bats eyes*

"That's okay. Do you need supplies?"

I love my parenting journey even more because my partner is awesome. I unabashedly adore my team, even if it's not conventional. (Most moms are closer to their sisters, but I am closer to my brother.) It definitely helps my confidence.

I digress.

I'm so into cloth diapering. I love the patterns and prints. I love how soft they are. I love how Baby Namastè looks so comfortable in them. (I don't love the cleanup--but I don't love that part of disposables either!)

Note: I don't scoff or turn my nose up at any parenting style! My own is a mashup of practices from different styles on the spectrum, so please don't take my experience or opinion as a gauge to measure your own. Remember, most of you can eat avocado and strawberries--but if I go out and do the same, I may literally die because I am dangerously allergic. NEVER be afraid or ashamed to make your own choices but do look into different options because you might find a new niche!

I decided to try my hand at making our own cloth diapers last night. I'm pretty handy with the sewing machine, but I wasn't feeling up to that so I decided to go with a fleece no-sew. I'd share a pattern...but I didn't use one. *insert maniacal chuckle*

Basically, I cut my baby's size in some fleece and that was the outside, the shell. I used black. (I had some left from a blanket I made for him, which turned out so cute and I'll show you in another post or over on IG!)

The liner is the basic trifold. I used fleece again, but I also used a disposable liner because I didn't trust my prototype diaper's absorbency.

Once I got everything together, I pinned it on Baby Namastè and crossed my fingers. Cloth diapers are great, but since this one was homemade I wasn't sure it'd be on par with the ones we purchased. (This wasn't our first rodeo with cloth--just homemade cloth.) I have never been able to pin them smooth, where they lay like a disposable, but I got it secured which is the important thing I guess.

I'm a brazen momma. I was so chuffed about how well the diaper held up (and held the goop IN) after 3 changes that I decided Baby Namastè should sleep in it. He was so comfortable after his bath, playing with his toys while sporting the homemade cloth diaper that I figured, why not?

Before bed...

He woke up dry!!! (Well, the outside of the diaper was dry. Of course he piddled.) There was no wet spot in the bed. Sucess!!!

I will be checking out some patterns today to sew some as well. I still have a stash of disposables, but I'm all for using cloth around the house because they're cute. I have time to deal with the cleaning, and I'm so appreciative of the chance to try different things with him.

If you're more inclined to try some pre-made cloth diapers, I recommend these.

I'm off to see what else I can create without moving too much. I'm finally beginning to feel a bit of relief. Pneumonia is horrid--my chest feels like someone took a jackhammer to it and I can't even think without triggering a coughing spell. I'm feeling some relief though--I must stress that. This is Peachy compared to those days last week with the 103 temp and not being able to snuggle Kids Namastè! I'm MUCH better, just have a ways to go before I'm at 100 percent.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

D-MER: My Experience

Namastè!

I hope you're having a great evening.

I'm finishing a pump session and I finally remembered what I wanted to write about earlier!

D-MER. Dysphoric milk ejection reflex.

I am 8, almost 9 months strong in my breastfeeding journey with Baby Namastè. I pump as well as nurse, and while he does enjoy a few solid foods, I don't push him to eat. I'm content with nursing and bottle feeding expressed milkies, and he is happy and healthy. 

* Before age one, solids are for fun.

I digress.

D-MER has made my journey soooo difficult.

What D-MER is, is a set of dysphoric (read: bad, uncomfortable, opposite effect euphoric) feelings and/or anxiety that occur with letdowns. Every time I pump, nurse, or experience a spontaneous letdown, I feel a rush of anxiety and discomfort. Sometimes it's a wave of sadness. And other times I just feel irritable as heck. All of this happens as a result of "inappropriate dopamine activity" at the time of letdown, before milk flow.

D-MER is NOT postpartum depression--it only occurs right before milk flow. While it does carry the potential to disrupt breastfeeding (it is uncomfortable, trust me), and some women will stop entirely, it is not a psychological response to breastfeeding, nor is it a generalized mood disorder. It is a physiological anomaly.

The first time I experienced the Wave as we call it, I thought postpartum depression was setting in, and I was terrified. I field roughly 90% of the household management because Hubby Namastè works 6 days a week, sometimes 18 hours a day. I take care of the bills, I cook, I clean, and I look after Kids Namastè. We don't have a nanny.

Did I mention we don't have a nanny?!

I was terrified of getting postpartum depression because I already have a huge workload. (Healing from any kind of depression is WORK. Period. With everything else I have going on, I was paralyzed in fear of adding postpartum depression to the list.) The fear was gripping, stifling.

I know the score--these things need addressing immediately. There is no shame in getting help. I contacted my OB, who asked me to make a journal of those feelings for an appointment, so I could track when it was happening and what may have led to it.

...but I noticed it went away quickly. Within a few minutes of nursing or pumping, the feeling would vanish. As suddenly as I felt like a horrible cloud was over me, I went back to feeling like my usual self again.

You'd think that would reassure me some, but it made me curious.

Let me confess my sin here--I never ever Google any symptom when I am sick or otherwise out of commission. I make a concerted effort not to drum up more fear and uncertainty by trying to do the work of an MD when my degrees are in English, Business Communications, and Criminal Justice.

Before my doctor told me about D-MER, he had me take a quiz. I scored 35. That score, combined with my description of what was happening to me as well as what he could see when I fed the baby in the office, was enough to confirm.

D-MER is decidedly uncomfortable, but it need not end your breastfeeding journey. There are a variety of treatments available, from behavioral to pharmaceutical. (I chose a non-medical program, as I prefer to not take any more medication than needed. I was able to fight for my happy nursing story, but before I was diagnosed I had never even heard of D-MER.

I want to make sure you guys know about it, hopefully before it affects you.

The quiz is here.

The symptoms:

-Feeling anxiety, sadness, anger, homesickness, or any fleeting mood change at letdown.

-Feeling disappears shortly after milk begins to flow.

-You are unable to talk yourself out of the feelings. [D-MER is reflexive, caused by hormones.]

As I stated, D-MER is a physiological condition. Only the most severe cases require medication. I get a slight tremor with the Wave, but I've accepted it as a temporary malfunction. My body, like many other moms, simply goes haywire before milk ejection. (I can add that to my list of squirmy phrases.)

If you are having these feelings, or any feelings, that disrupt your nursing or bonding with your baby, SPEAK UP. There's nothing wrong with getting some help. Mommy'ing is some hard work, and we need all the fortification we can get go steel ourselves for bearing the glorious load.

I hope this sheds some light or bridges the gap for someone.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

No Relationship Overshares or TMIs From This Girl!

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing a joyous overflow this morning.

I've been awake for a while now, as I'm still not able to sleep properly just yet. I'm very congested and my chest and head are aching intermittently.

I was looking at my social media. I'm becoming more active with Facebook and Instagram--but the more active I become, the more reserved I become also. I love, love, love interacting and sharing with my friends and associations the day to day happenings. I'm always very excited to catch up on their day to day adventures as well. I take a little time every day or so to sit down and really check in (well, except Brittany and Alicia--I have to talk to them at least a couple times a day, because they're my breath of fresh air!) on my tribe.

But I also work feverishly to protect my privacy, my safe space. As I have published this blog in a globally public space (the good old Internet, where nothing is ever truly deleted and things are easily misconstrued and spun to suit the vantage point most beneficial to whomever is currently discussing) I diligently avoid oversharing. I don't discuss my relationship, aside from sharing the highlights and special moments, or little anecdotes that could be inspiring to others.

I won't allege that Hubby Namastè and I are perfect, because we are far from it. We're just surviving, happily and voluntarily together, most of life's curveballs. We are undeniably a unit, a (mostly) solid force. We are the very best of friends! I would not undermine our relationship for likes or double taps. This is the man who has held my hair as I puked up my inner workings.

That's not to say I won't talk about our ups and downs--I do. I paint the most honest portrait of our life that I can without compromising our pact to each other.  But I won't paint us in a negative light. You see, your working opinion of him is based on how I describe him. If I'm having a bad day and I go spouting off about how terrible he is, you would wonder why I hang around. You would think he was either not a good guy or not consistently a good guy, and you would wonder why I settle. This isn't saying couples don't have bad days, or that people shouldn't vent--I am just saying that I'm very careful about doing so (read: I make a point not to!) in a public forum. I won't open my personal life to that kind of judgment. If I went off on some tangent then retracted, I'd have to either clear it up with a heck of a mea culpa OR be willing to look really dumb because while I just made my husband look like a major dragon give minutes or days ago, I'm right back with him.

As for the trend of being extra generous in intimacy details...tsk tsk. I'm neither a sex therapist nor an exhibitionist, I will never divulge the whens, wheres, or hows of our most private moments. I don't think he'd like that, and I know I'd die of terror if he were discussing that with strangers. I feel like that's embarrassing to him and not very ladylike for me.

I think our culture depends too much on validation. We want to be thumbs'd up. We want those double taps. We want the approval of our friends.

But sometimes that desire for attention can become an addiction, a straight up detriment.

I don't want that. I love the camaraderie of my parents' group, and I love to kick back and chat with my tribal council for our lovely gab fests--but I'll always try to avoid being "that" girl. The one who overshares and then has to do damage control.

I will always be the other girl though--the one who tries to share insights and super without becoming a teachable moment herself.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Q & A with Tayè K. ♡

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof tonight.

I don't think I've told you much at all about me. For all my musings and opinions--usually strong ones!--I am pretty shy. Even so, I still want to give you a little glimpse. I get a fair amount of email (which I welcome, as I love interacting with y'all) and I compiled some of my recent "get to know Tayè" questions here.

How do you pronounce your name?

It's pronounced TAH-yay. I go by Tay, Tay-Tay, or Coles.

What's your family's nationality?

We are a multinational family. I am Jamaican, Hubby Namastè is Sri Lankan by way of India. An interesting tidbit--my last name, K, is hubby's first name. In his culture the wives take on their husband's name, as do their children. Each son continues their own lineage by following suit. Hubby Namastè's last name is actually V, for his father's honor.

You're vocal about breastfeeding. Do you really believe fed is best? Would you be upset to buy formula if you couldn't nurse?

I'm vocal about it because it's what I'm doing, and I see the benefits it's bestowed on my babies. I believe breast is best, but fed is REQUIRED. If I couldn't nurse, I would get donor milk.

How old are you?

I'm 35. I'll make 36 in January. Most days I feel 16 physically and 72 mentally.

What makes you blog when there are so many already?

I like putting down my thoughts. I like sharing information and getting opinions. There's a lot of bloggers for sure but only one me.

Why did you choose Namastè as a theme?

It's a principle I love and live by. In our home, it is law--keep the peace. Also it was very easy to brand--NamasTAYÈ!

Why don't you take pictures, we don't know what you look like?

I blog to make the kind of visual that only the right words can evoke. I don't post many photos of myself here but I do have instagram. Besides, I don't think people are checking that hard for my lil' face anyway!

Why aren't your family's names posted? Everybody is something Namastè!

I'm a private person. I like to keep a bit of mystery. I write about our life, but I don't give their most personal details because they're just that, theirs. I feel like it's unfair to put their minutiae out for the masses.

Will we see pics of Family Namastè?

Maybe our thumbs. I'm kidding...or am I?

What's been your favorite review so far?

I had so much fun working with the bottles for my review. Look out for it soon. Of the bottles, my favorite is the Mimijumi. It was a lifesaver during the baby's recent nursing strike.

Are you active with social media?

I am getting there. It's still tough to put myself front and center that way! I'm shy, and I'm a private person, and I actually avoid being too present in those things. On my personal Facebook, I have I think 30 friends! I'll be paring that down soon. I have been doing a lot of posts on Instagram, and I interact on the blog's Facebook. There's a snapchat and YouTube I've barely touched yet. I'm a blogger--I just want to write my stuff and that's it.

How often do you write?

Honestly I write as it strikes me. There are days when I churn out 3 or 4 posts,  and there are days-long stretches when I do not write anything. I don't want to hit a rut so I let it bend how it blows.

Will you ever get more personal, share the nitty gritty of your life?

Probably not. Not today anyway. I never know what I'll write until I sit down. Nothing ever has a title until it's finished, and nothing is planned in advance unless it is sponsored.

Do you only review products you like? You never post a bad review.

I honestly prefer to only write about items I would recommend. I wouldn't bring a person to my home just to tell her I don't like her hair--same applies with my blog. If I don't recommend a product, or it doesn't work for me, I will be truthful, but I won't cast a shadow on that brand.

Who or what company was our worst sponsor encounter?

No comment! I'm either VERY nice here or VERY quiet.

Why won't you talk about politics or religion? Those are hot button topics.

No wise woman divides her own home. The blog is like my living room, and I'm having you all over for tea. I don't want y'all tearing up my furniture when the disagreement gets too heated.

If you've got something you'd like to ask, feel free to email me at

NamasteWithTayeK@gmail.com

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Mom Bod, Reloaded.

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts of nose breathing and that you don't feel razor blades when you swallow.

This creeping crud is taking me down, y'all.

I've been basking in my cute to get me through though,  especially on the cusp of being fitted for my new salwar kameez suits and sarees. (I told you I love Etsy--and Etsy loves  me back. I'll be modeling a few lovely outfits for some amazing vendors as well as sharing their links so you can grab similar if it suits your fancy.)

Anyway...

In the midst of being under the weather I've had a lot of down time to play with my hair and look in the mirror. (I'm not vain, but as I prepare to be more visible here, I have to take a real stock of what I'm working with to make sure I'm ready.)

I still dig my mom bod, but I wish I were taller. At 5'4, I get credit for being a little curvier than I actuallt am, but I don't get to wear certain things without alteration. My jeans always need hemming. My designers (it feels so cool to say that!!!) have complimented my measurements, which I'll never share *insert evil cackle* which also felt really cool.

When Baby Namastè hits a year old, I will begin toning uo this old vessel so I can be a little leaner. I honestly do not trifle with scales--as long as I feel good and strong, the number does not matter. I will always aim to be my healthiest, but that does not necessarily equate with being my thinnest. 

I have been walking with the baby since he was born, and I'll continue that. With the exception of holidays, we actually don't eat much jun food here in Castle Namastè. Hubby Namastè is a vegetarian  (pescatarian) and I try to do as much organic food as possible. I dont eat red meat, I don't consume alcohol, and I only eat fried foods a few times per month. (I believe in treating myself--everything in moderation!)

I know I will stick with that plan. 

When I receive my salwars and sarees, I cant wait to show them off here! The colors are so bold and bright. The fabric is incredible. I feel most beautiful covering my mom bod reloaded up these days, but I'm happy with it.

I hope you enjoy the same contentment. Rock your skin!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

SewChic: A HoliTAYÈ Vendor You Need to Know!

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof this afternoon.

I wanna introduce you today to one of my favorite vendors!!! Her name is Amanda and she is the brains and beautiful spirit behind Sew Chic Studio. Although shes busy busy busy, she carved out a little time to answer a few questions and even sent over some photos of her work.

Here's Amanda! Her headband is Sew Chic (see what we did there?) and her tshirt is from another shop, @FaithandFinn.

1. Tell us about you!

Hi, I'm Amanda! I'm a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, and most recently boss to my small shop, Sew Chic Studio. I married the only man I ever dated (we've known each other since childhood!) and we had our miracle baby Malachi in January 2016 despite a medical diagnosis of ovarian cysts and a doctor telling us it would be difficult to get pregnant. I live on lattes and laughs! I am so blessed!

2. What was your inspiration to start your business?

Honestly, I love being creative! I find different ways to let that creativity out and when I found that I could be creative with sewing - and that people would buy it - my business blossomed over time. During the year I couldn't get pregnant it was special to bless other moms & babies because I knew that would be me one day. I took my time making the decision for Sew Chic to be a full-time thing because I was intimidated by failing or getting bored of it and feeling trapped. I finally decided to jump all-in because I'm not bored and I am the one who sets the bar to be successful. I guess I finally decided I don't have to measure success in comparison to any other shop.

3. What's your favorite item to make and why?

Right now I love making Smash Cake Sets - but that's probably because my baby will be one-year-old in just two months and I am in full party planning mode! I also like making aprons because I love to cook. And I love making paci clips because as a Mama I know how practical they are! Clearly I'm really bad at having only one favorite!

4. How do you stay motivated? What keeps you going?

I think seeing people love what I create is really rewarding. It challenges me to become better at creating, sewing, etc. It's also fun when I get to be part of something special in someone's life whether that's bow ties on their wedding day or celebrating baby's first birthday with a cake smash set.

5. What's your single favorite parenting tip?

Never say "I can't wait until they can..." It goes too fast so just enjoy the stage their in - even with its challenges.

6. I've browsed your IG page and I love how you have such a positive online presence. How do you maintain such a great outlook?

God has brought me through so much that there's no time for me to let drama run my life! It's easy to find negativity anywhere, but I've found that being in a bad mood doesn't add anything to my life. I'd rather choose joy and encourage others to do the same.

7. Please share the best piece of life advice you have received, the one that has helped you the most.

Well you've already figured out that I'm bad at "favorites" or "bests." But I can say some of the best wisdom I have heard is that who you surround yourself with is who shapes your life. I am so grateful to have a circle of people who encourage me and challenge me to be better in every area. I love that we can all live with the attitude to grow every day and move forward together.

Now...those items!!! They are adorable times ten. (Photos are the property of Amanda and Sew Chic Studios, and are used with express permission.)

Feast your eyes...

Baby bowties.

Paci clips!

Teethers!!!

Amanda will be launching her official website on November 21. I know I'll be first in line to geab a smash cake set for Baby Namastè and Baby Peachy. 

Website: http://www.SewChicStudio.com (Launches Monday, Nov. 21st!)
Email: SewChicStudio@gmail.com
I am on IG, Twitter, & Facebook as SewChicStudio 

I hope youve enjoyed "meeting" her and checking out her wares. Stay tuned for those smash cake sets!!!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Why My Kids WILL See Color...And I Hope Yours Will, Too.

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof.

As a rule, actually a concrete ironclad law, I don't discuss any form of politics or religion here, nor do I allow that discourse in the comments. This is different, so go with me.

My children will be raised to see color.

They will observe and acknowledge skin tone in the same way they casually note hair color, shoe style, backpack style. In our family those quantitative factors are noticed but not dwelled upon.

I won't model or allow those quantitative factors to become qualitative--i.e., we do not take a person's skin tone or hair texture and form an overall opinion about them, nor will we use those same factors to decide how we treat them.

I think refusing to acknowledge color sets up a poisonous atmosphere. Baby Namastè's best friend shares February 28th, their birthday. They were born in the same hour. She is a darling little muffin with golden wisps of blonde hair, a flawless peaches and creme complexion, and striking blue eyes that put the sky to shame. Meanwhile, Baby Namastè is an equally darling little muffin with twirls of dark hair, a toasted coconut complexion, and darkest grey eyes with depth like the sea. I look forward to photographing him with his friend because while they are so beautifully different, they are a stunning complement.

He will definitely know that his friend is different. He will also know that it's part of her beauty, but not part of her spirit, her intelligence, her likelihood to be an amazing adult just as she is an amazing little girl. Baby Namastè won't be taught to say "my White friend" but he will know, quantitatively, that she is. He won't be taught to negate that very obvious fact of her identity, because it is unfair to both him and her.

Unfair?

Yes. Baby Namastè is undeniably a brown baby. Baby Peach (not named so for her skin, by the way--her mommy has called her that since before she was born, and if I recall correctly it is because she is a little Georgia peach) is undeniably not brown.   Our family has a rich tapestry of East and West Indian roots, and we don't negate that. Baby Peach has her own lineage, European and some of that wonderful Louisiana culture. To not acknowledge these heritages and lineages would UNFAIRLY deprive them of the chance to learn and embrace their cultural differences rather than shy away from them. We would be foolish to sweep such beautiful diversity under the rug. Instead of making it taboo, we are encouraging it as another way to see all the beauty and diversity in the world. People are the best bouquet of flowers--all with different petals, colors, and sizes--our children should not be allowed to see only the green stems and leaves, the parts that "match."

There can be no unity without acceptance. (In this sense "acceptance" is simply acknowledging what is and growing with it rather than running from it.) Without acceptance there can be no unity. Without unity, we get the headlines and unrest of our current political landscape.

When Baby Peach is in our home (which will always be her home too), she will get to try curry, color mandala, and perhaps learn to say a few phrases in Tamil or Hindi. We will love, honor, and protect her little perfect self just as we do our own. I know that when Baby Namastè is in Casa de Peach, his second home, he will learn everything Auntie and Uncle Peach can teach, and I know he'll be treasured and protected there.

This is how we are making the world change.

The kids will see color for sure, as they are not blind. But by not making it a huge deal, a taboo topic, we are giving them the freedom to think beyond. We aren't putting gates around their thoughts about people, but we are guiding them toward making thoughtful connections.

When Baby Namastè sees me, he does not see ONLY my chocolate skin or the slight heterochromia in my eyes or my wild hair--he sees Amma. Mommy. He doesn't look at his dad and see only caramel skin or piercing eyes and dark lazy waves of hair like his own--he sees Appa. Daddy! He knows what we look like, but more importantly he knows who we are. That's how we want him to see everyone. Note their traits, but discern them by their character and how they treat you.

Color has nothing to do with character or how a person will treat them, as it is quantitative--but it does have something to do with who people are. Kids Namastè are being taught this precise notion.

They will SEE color but they will ACCEPT the person on a far deeper, much more qualitative set of merits.

I hope many many more children will know the same, because it is truth.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K.

Upspring!

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof this morning!

I've been fielding a lot of galactagogue questions lately. As mothers we are interested in providing the best, and when our best is via nursing, we always take every step to make sure we can provide enough!

I've been in a stressful haze the past few weeks. Between settling into the house and my work (Family Namastè is entrepreneurial--we maintain several convenience stores, Hubby Namastè has his work, and I have my work, plus our outreach group for parents [Mamastè] is growing so rapidly), I have not been sleeping properly.

Anytime my output dips below 40 ounces per day, I take a day or two to pamper myself. I try to drink extra water, eat better (in my case eat more--I am a consummate grazer!), and de-stress so I can fill those bottles in between nursing sessions. I pump on schedule, but Baby Namastè nurses on demand. Sometimes his demand is less. He's been cluster feeding lately.

Enter my Upspring!

I received a MilkFlow care package for review. While the products themselves are sponsored, the opinions are mine alone.

Note: I'm only just beginning to learn about the wonder of galactagogues myself. For the first six months of Baby Namastè's life, I did nothing but nurse and pump. There was never need or reason to find supply help. Now that I've donated my desired 10K ounces, I'm building a supply for Baby Namastè to have after his first birthday. He's already beginning to wean himself, but he still nurses on demand.

Also note: A breast pump cannot gauge how much milk you make. There is no mechanical device that can remove milk as efficiently as a baby. Please don't let the number--or lack--of bags or bottles in the freezer or fridge make you feel inadequate about your supply. If your baby is gaining and keeping weight, showing steady growth, and making a good number of wet and dirty diapers, you are likely producing enough. Exclusive pumping mamas, it is especially important for you to stay encouraged and focus on baby's growth more than the amount of milk you have stashed.

Now...my Upspring MilkFlow. *insert googly heart eyes*

In my experience very few galactagogue drinks, teas, or tinctures ever taste good. (Just my observations, via my palate.) Nursing cookies? NO. So I purposely didn't look at reviews about MilkFlow. I waited til the package arrived, determined to not be swayed one way or the other til I tried it myself. I was definitely willing to try it just from looking at the packet--all natural, gluten free, and non GMO. (I am big on those.)

It. Is. CHOCOLATE.

I don't know if I've mentioned before, my affinity for all things chocolate. I could actually smell the cocoa from the packets. The box smelled like a Hershey bar, y'all. Considering it has fenugreek, I expected it to smell like pancakes.

I mixed my MilkFlow into some almond milk. The package said it could be enjoyed cold or hot. Having tried both ways, I prefer hot. It tastes like either very rich cocoa with the little yummy marshmallows. Look at it, it looks like cocoa!!!

I also received the berry and citrus flavors. The berry flavor, I put in cranberry juice. Citrus, a good old glass of ruby red grapefruit juice. Both were decent, but that chocolate is my favorite, hands down. (I generally prefer sweet to tart, and chocolate is my favorite, period.)

I don't really recommend mixing it in water--it doesn't taste bad but getting the ratio right to avoid watering down the mix's flavor is tricky. My magic number was 6 ounces water to one packet.

Did it help?

As I said, I take a Tayè Day to rest and regroup when my supply dips below 40 ounces per day. Two days into my MilkFlow trial, I really did notice a difference. I tested further by dropping from 8 pumps to 6, and I was still able to get my "quota" plus a little extra, to the the of 7 to 8 additional ounces each day.

Do I recommend it?

Of course. It helps, it tastes pretty good, and it beats taking all those capsules. (I've received emails from women who struggle to take up to 20 capsules of fenugreek and other herbs every day in efforts to raise or maintain their milk supply!)

Along with my MilkFlow, I received the vitamin D drops. It is so important to make sure your nursling gets the appropriate amounts of vitamin D! Formula is fortified with it by default, but breastmilk contains only the amounts mom had ingested. The average mother does not get enough vitamin D to support her and baby.

These drops are concentrated, so baby won't need a syringe full. I just dosed Baby Namastè direct, then allowed him to nurse do he could wash it down.

I like the customer service at Upspring as much as I enjoyed that chocolate drink! They are polite and courteous. For my collaboration I worked with Erika! She was in the thick of moving to a new office but still took the time to answer my questions and keep me updated with everything pertaining to my demo pack. She went above and beyond to make sure it all went smoothly, even as she herself was in the midst of setting up her new office.

In a nutshell, YES. Go get it. My favorite is the chocolate. I recommend ordering right from the Upspring site, but it is available in some areas in Walmart or Target.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Busy Busy, Tayè in a Tizzy!

Namastè!

I am one tired mama, y'all.

This house, this upcoming holiday, this expo. I am like a fine jam--spread thin but somehow still sweet.

Baby Namastè's gotten much better with his nursing sincethe last strike, and he's still happily taking his Mimi. That's given me much relief.

The house. I can't believe we've come so far, and I can't believe how far we still have to go. There won't be a huge Thanksgiving gathering at Castle Namastè, and I'm a bit dismayed. I'm beyond grateful because the pace is wonderful. I'm forcing myself to see all the positives, but in all honesty I'm  just so tired.

It's that tired where you are so mentally spent that it manifests itself physically. My mind is so busy with this measurement or that material that my body is literally drained. I don't sleep well anyway, but leading up to Thanksgiving I'm even more prone to insomnia.

My expo will be amazing. Between the actual event and the blog highlights showcase, I'm proud as a peacock because I worked so hard on this. This is the first one I've presented where I have tested every item. I'll be doing demos all day, and I am genuinely excited and almost 100% ready to commence with everything. The devil has really been in the details though, and I've been dancing with him in the pale moonlight trying to make sure everything goes smoothly.

All in all, I still cannot complain. I have made a commitment to rest up, so I'm taking a couple days to get a new phone (yay!) and recharge my vessel (read: Tayè Days!). I got a total of 6 hours of sleep the past few days, so I'm beyond beat.

Still, I can't completely power down because of have so any ideas. Ah, the joys of being a creative soul.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Autism, In A Mother's Words

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof tonight.

In the midst of prepping for my HoliTAYÈ Expo, I wanted to make sure the blog remained fresh and interesting. To that end I convinced a dear longtime friend to share her journey with us.

You know we are passionate about inclusion and that means EVERY parent has a place in our namaSPACE.

Michelle's daughter is named Mariah. Mariah is a beautiful, talented, strong young lady, who just happens to live with autism. Notice I said "live with"--her desire for a good quality of life, her interests, and her goals are in line with any neurologically typical teen. Now, here is her story, in her mom's words.

On March 1, 2000,  I gave birth to a 7lb baby girl that I named Mariah.  She seemed like any baby girl. The only difference was she was very quiet and very observant growing up.  She rarely spoke even to me her own mom.  She was real calm and quiet up until the age of 5 when we noticed she was having Petit Mal Seizures. It was horrible because she would have these seizures daily and frequently. 

Then one day at the age of 7 we had to have her tested because the teachers were concerned that she wasn't thriving like the other kids.  That day sitting at the doctors office getting her dx,  I didn't know what to expect.  As I sat there and I listened attentively to the doctor,  he said the word Autism.  My mind was racing & all these questions arose.  Is she gonna die? Is she ok? Is there a cure? What is Autism? What do I do for her? Where do I go for help?

He then said, "She will live, but she will never be able to speak or be social. She will never have a quality life."  Those words broke my heart as I turned to see my baby girl sitting there playing with her toy monkey.  I was overwhelmed and heartbroken.  He handed me a paper stating his findings and dx Autism POS/NOS. 

I was still so very clueless and I felt so alone.  Back then internet and social media was not as popular as it is now so I had no way of researching or reaching out to others for guidance. 

A few days later, we had a meeting at her school and once again I was told she would never be verbal, never be social and would never be able to learn.  I sat there dumbfounded and sad. Her school also told me they didn't have a proper class for her dx [diagnosis] and that the following year she would be placed in another school in the special education class room.  What was left of my broken heart shattered even more that day, because I remembered seeing the kids with disabilities being mistreated in schools as I grew up and now, in my mind, my child was going to be one of the kids being mistreated. 

I was introduced to her new teacher that was going to be her teacher the following school year.  It was going to be her first year teaching.  She promised me she would take care of her and be the best teacher for her. I looked at her and all I could do was pray and hope my baby girl would be ok. 

Mariah would have meltdowns and seizures all the time.  Life was a struggle.  It was stressful on all of us.  She never to this day had a meltdown at school she saved those for home. Her Autism isn't the textbook definition of Autism, and let me just say all kids are different. 

Mariah somehow formed a bond with her teacher and I fought for 8 yrs to keep them together.  Her teacher and I worked on getting Mariah to use her words when she needed. We never gave up on Mariah.  Her seizures stopped at age 11 but she still had meltdowns where she would destroy her stuff. Tearing up her books or throwing her stuffed animals and sometimes throwing herself on the floor.  Family members would say, "Oh she's spoiled you need to discipline her!" and I was faced with the thoughts of am I spoiling her, but I knew it wasn't that. I ignored them as I ignored those words uttered years before: "She will never be speak or be social. She will never read or write."

All those years ago I was alone but I was determined to fight for my child's  rights and get all the information needed on Autism to help her through life. 

Today I have a 16 yr old teenage girl.  She is reading! Not as good as others her age, but she is reading.  She writes. And oh my goodness, she is a social one!! She has drama like all teens and she has made friends. She loves art and music and makeup. She still has meltdowns but it is stomping her feet as she walks and eye rolling and slams the door to her room. I guess it could be teen attitude.

She still struggles with some issues but we have learned how to get through them.  Everything the doctor and former teachers said she wouldn't do, she does!!!

Not all children are the same but we as parents, as teachers, and family just need to support and love them.  We need to have patience tons of it!!! And remember to celebrate their milestones no matter how small or how big.  They will get were they need to be in their own time, or they will be where they need to be and we must embrace them for their uniqueness! We have to always be vigilant and be their voice when they can not speak.

Now there is so much out there to help our children with Autism. I have meet other moms through social media and I have found that I am no longer alone. I went through a lot through the years with Mariah and it was a hard road alone, but I feel blessed to be her mom. She has taught me so much and our journey has been able to help others in their journey.

This family has been a part of my own family for a long time now. The same patience and love Michelle showers on her family, has been shared with me and mine. She is an absolute powerhouse when it comes to advocating for her daughter, and she is always willing to reach out and encourage others.

As we all share what we are thankful for this month, I could not miss the opportunity to share her story with you. I am absolutely awestruck by how much gratitude she emanates daily. She is a saint to me. I admire her strength, and she's gorgeous inside and out. (Mariah is so cute. I've gotten to watch her grow from a little girl to a young lady and she is stunning, with her beautiful eyes and chubby cheeks. She is perfection.)

I also wanted to do this collaboration to let any Namastè mommies or daddies with a challenge ahead know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Michelle felt alone, but she now makes sure other parents in her shoes don't. She is just an angel.

I got all teary-eyed reading her email, but it was partly from joy because I have seen firsthand how much Mariah can do. She reads. She dresses herself--in style, on trend, and quite adorably! She uses her words. I tell Michelle all the time, "Look at my Riah, being extra typical."

Let this empower and encourage you.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡