Yes, My Kid Is Having a Mid-Store Fit. NO, I DON'T Want to Be Your Viral FB Kindness Post. 'K, Thanks!

Namastè.

Kids do this adorable thing sometimes.

You have them out and about in their adorableeeeeee outfits, with their adorableeeeeee shoes, and they're just generally looking about as lovely as a BOG3 sale at Bath and Body Works.

...I took my kid to Wal-Mart today.

He was so cute in his little athletic gear. He really likes basketball shorts, and I really like not having to fight with him about getting dressed. It's one of those few win-win scenarios where toddlers are concerned. Plus, those elastic waistbands make potty time a real breeze. (The only thing more harrowing than a missed potty break is the guilt that sets in when the kid looks at you and says, "I didn't go in time, clothes hard.")

My son isn't on the spectrum. He doesn't have any cognitive deficit. Let's clear that up now, for the sympathizers and diagnosers.

Not a single health problem.

Why then, would he be throwing a fit?

He's two.

He's two, he's figuring out his space in the world, and--admittedly--he's just a wee bit of an asshole.

*gasp*

Yep, I totally said it. My kid is a little bit of an asshole.

Most two-year-olds are, and he's no different. He's learning to navigate this world on his own terms, and sometimes his own terms are loud, annoying, and cringe-worthy.

Getting back to this Wal-Mart run...

He hates Wal-Mart. He always has. Even as a tiny infant, as soon as we stepped into the store his entire little demeanor would change. He would become fussy. He would turn red and angry and I'd either have to nurse him or take him to the garden center area so he wouldn't feel so annoyed. (He's always loved looking at plants and stuff, even from a very early age. I study a lot of botany books and since he was usually in my lap, I'd read those books to him!)

On this particular run, my little guy was not thrilled. He had just woken up and had lunch, but he still wasn't feeling the whole errand thing. (I get it, little dude--I hate errands too.)

Something set him off.

"Mahhhhhhhhhhhhh-meeeeee."

Oh. Snap.

"I wanna gooooooo."

But I needed laundry detergent. That laundry pile was looking really ominous and what I cannot abide the sight of it anymore, because it insults me. Like seriously, the pile calls me names. *chuckle*

"Just a few more items, my Bud. Then we will share a bubble tea!"

"No tea. HOOOOOOOOOOME." Now his lip is trembling.

Needless to say, we didn't make it out without tears. He was really tired of being in the store, and I was set on my own agenda so I wasn't exactly considerate. (I'm a mom who puts kids first...when kids need to be put first.)

It wasn't a dramatic scene. (He's really laid back--and I'm really thankful because our girls are NOT laid back.) He was protesting, and crying.

A woman runs up to us. Like, half sprint from 50 yards, y'all. She legit zipped over to us prepared to comfort this mistreated little boy.

"Is he hungry? Does he need a nap?"

Now, before I get into the next scene, allow me to redeem myself. (But remember, your judgment of me says more about you than it ever could of me!) I am a mom who can and will accept help when it's needed. I don't martyr myself in the name of doing it all, and I don't shy away from letting someone else take the reigns. However in this case, the kid and I struck a deal--he would stay in his seat in the shopping cart while I finished up, and we would get the previously-refused bubble tea. Not bribery, but striking a deal. He wasn't being rewarded for "requiring" a deal, he was being rewarded for being a big enough boy to accept that while he didn't want to be in the store, it had to be done!

"No, he's fine." I kinda walked away a bit then after offering a smile.

"But he must be unhappy, look at that face!"

I didn't wanna hurt her feelings. After all, she totally sprinted over to us from 50 yeards because she saw my son's distress. If that ain't camaraderie, I don't know what is.

However, when she gave him a high five and then asked to take a picture with him, I got a little aggravated.

This is the part of this culture that I do not like, the reason I hope that if I ever go viral, no one actually remembers my face enough to recognize and consequently bug the living shit out of me in public. My husband and I are pretty private people. We don't do a ton of social media posts (aside from my blogging and the foods on my IG) and we certainly don't like our kids plastered everywhere. I dance a terse duality on the line between private person and public entity, and the value of my anonymity is never lost.

"No, he's not really a camera kid." I tried to deflect, although I was feeling pretty violated that she even thought it ok to ask. (But then again, at least she asked!)

"Just one quick shot."

At this point I just scoffed and walked off.

Interestingly enough, he had calmed down by now and was happily waiting for the boba tea. Which by now we both deserved, me because I'm an adult and can have tea whenever I want anyway but especially when I refrain from breaking my foot off in a violator's fanny, he because at two, what's cooler than getting boba tea?!

So...

Yes, my son is having a mid-store fit. NO, I don't want to be your viral FB/IG kindness post. 'K? Thanks.

Namaste!

-- Taye K. 

How to Visit A New Mom

Namastè!

We've all been there. Just brought that new bundle of sweetness home and the admiration society cannot wait to come see!

Personally, I love visits. Between my in-laws and my tribe, it's guaranteed to have a nice time. Food, fun, and fellowship can be as rejuvenating as uninterrupted sleep--and are a lot easier to come by.

Unfortunately not everyone has my tribe or my in-laws, so I came up with another list! This time, it's of the best things to do when you visit a new mom.

1. Bring food.

Bring food. Regardless of how cute the baby is or what an easy delivery she had, she's probably not feeling up to cooking. Walking in with food puts you high in the rankings. I had time for laundry and pretty much any chore I could do in increments, but cooking required a level of attention I couldn't give when I had a clingy velcro baby.

No need for 5-star eats...Taco Bell was as good to me as Fogo de Chao when someone thought enough of me to bring it!

2. Don't stay too long...

Two hours is probably plenty. (Personally I wanted a sleepover, but people have jobs and lives. *sighs*)

3. ...but please don't rush off!

Newborns take up a lot of time...but they also don't allow much room for mom and dad to interact much outside themselves. Having a tiny baby can be lonely, and while sleep is at a premium, having a good friend drop by and sit a spell can be just as rejuvenating.

4. "Helping out" might not involve holding the baby.

Everyone clamors to hold a newborn. Isn't that the point of the visit?

Maybe not. If your visit also includes an offer to help out, understand that the help needed may be more along the lines of helping organize the living room or maybe playing with the older kids (if there are any). You aren't there to be a servant of course, and your assistance is greatly valued, but most times new parents are very tied up with the baby's care and need a little help getting other things in order. So when a friend offers to help out, they usually need them on the regular front. Don't be offended if you show up to donate an afternoon and it's more sorting baby laundry than getting baby snuggles.

My personal request was always simple--please come hold the little baby or entertain my bigger babies while I "uninterrupted-ly" shower and have a sandwich.

5. Bring humor, grown-up chatter, practically any news from the outside! We are knee-deep in baby talk as is.

My favorite visits were when my friends talked about their daily exploits--interesting (or mundane) things they saw, places they went, or even things they had eaten. Having a new baby can be somewhat isolating, especially in those first few weeks when Mom is healing and she and baby are getting acclimated to each other. While we don't scoff at sharing baby stats, we all have a moment or two where we practically daydream about the "adventures" our friends and family are having out there in the regular world.

Being cocooned in the house with a baby is hardly the worst place to be...but don't forget that moms still want to have a bit of social time not centered around those little snuggle bugs. It keeps her sane and helps her connect to the world outside her house.

6. Don't mention our weight, hair, skin...

We know we may look rough. Personally I was moved to tears when my guests showed up in pajamas and messy buns. I'm not the self-conscious type, but it felt nice to look at them and not feel like the haggard one. Sure, I was exhausted beyond reason and most definitely wouldn't place in any pageant...but how sweet was it of them to show up all cozy!

7. Ditto if the living room looks like Babies R'Us puked its inventory on the couches.

We're probably living in one room. For me, it's always the living room--it's closest to the kitchen so I can grab a snack here and there, wash pump parts, and store extra milk. I doubt my babies ever saw their rooms those first few weeks. As such, that room probably has all or most of our most-needed care and comfort items...and they're probably not in any real order.

Just move the Boppy and have a seat, dude.

Nanny (Search) 911!

Namastè!

So...I'll be the first to admit, my whelms are a bit overed lately. I wasn't ready for the "2 under 3" life and it's scaring me. Not that I can't take care of them, and not that Hubby doesn't help out immensely...

...our days just feel packed to the gills. And not in a good way.

All parents count down to bedtime. It's like a rite of passage.

Lately bedtime has become less of a time for me to catch up with myself and more of a time to finish all the chores and honey-dos I didn't get around to prior due to wrangling kids.

So...

I've decided I probably need a nanny.

Not to shirk my responsibilities, but to have someone in the trenches with me while Hubby is out bringing home the proverbial bacon. (Or in his case, salmon, as he's a staunch pescatarian who has never kissed bacon-y goodness a day in his beautiful life.)

I haven't even decided exactly how I will find this nanny. I know I'll need a background check and references. Ideally they will speak Tamil, but any other language in addition to English would be phenomenal. CPR and first aid are a must. While I won't be friending them in social media, I'll want a glance at theirs to see what kind of things they post. (Hopefully they would be game to guest on my blog sometimes!) I'll also have to meet them for a non-nannying lunch to make sure our personalities mesh, as I'll be right there with them each day.

I'm not even sure if I'd want her to live-in. I imagine she'd want to go home and escape my crazy family after finishing her shift! Would a nanny like living with us? Would they care to be part of our 24-hour life or just the 9-to-5 drag? I wouldn't know how to even broach the subject except to ask outright.

I'm terrified by nanny horror stories, but I feel pretty confident because my nanny would be working alongside me. She would never be without my guidance, or help. She's not being hired to replace me, just to assist me.

I'm hoping I'll find the right fit for us before our next trip.

I'm also battling a little guilt--why should I have a nanny when women have raised and reared entire broods for centuries without help and sometimes without even their mate?!

But then I think again and it's, why shouldn't I have a little help, so I can really do this mom thing the way I always envisioned it?! Who's stopping me? Who's gonna check me?

Because I come from the humblest of beginnings, I am careful about just blowing money or splurging unnecessarily. Hubby Namastè and I are comfortable. It won't break the bank, and he's suggested a nanny before. (BAD timing--our son was a newborn and I was beyond sensitive: I felt like he was insinuating maybe I wasn't so good at the housewife thing! [He wasn't.])

I know I can't live life to please others. And honestly, who wouldn't want me to do what's best for our tribe?! Certainly not anyone we want around.

Ah, decisions.

I'm doing the groundwork now, looking into tax filings and all that. (I won't just be shoving our nanny a few crumpled bills each week.) I wanna approach this like I would any other hiring, except I have to be waaay more thorough because I've never trusted another soul to help with the kids except select family.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K.

Ten Things No One Told Me About Being Pregnant While Wrangling a Toddler...

Namastè.

My whelms are overed!

(Overwhelmed.)

Actually today is not as busy as usual, so I decided to take a minute to have coffee and write. No coffee because my throat is on fire, but the Blogger app is functional today so it's still a win-win scenario for me.

Before I get into my yarn, please remember: My first two children are nine and a half years apart. By the time little brother bear came along, Princess Namastè was well into her own little personhood.

We didn't plan to not have another kid before Brother Bear turned three, so we were shocked and mostly pleasantly surprised to learn about our third. Hubby has joked that we would someday "birth the revolution" so another baby was right up his alley.

Don't get me wrong...there is something pure magic about watching siblings bond. Especially when they are close in age--Brother Bear and Princess bonded pretty quickly but the age difference does rear its head from time to time, so we were cautiously optimistic that Brother Bear and Three might be close without the huge age gap.

1. You'll be more tired than ever.

A common first trimester issue? Being exhausted.

Add a toddler to the mix and suddenly you're falling asleep standing at the sink.

I wasn't expecting this level of exhaustion, y'all. It threw me for a loop. Even with my generally easy-going toddler, I was still practically pinning my eyelids open by 3 or 4 in the afternoon.

2. Those cute toddler antics won't be so adorable when the clash with your hormones.

Toddlers are adorable. It's generally one of my favorite stages of childness. I truly enjoy watching them figure out their personhood.

But being pregnant came with its own issues and I was NOT as inclined to chuckle and smile when my toddler did his thing.

Driving his cars over my head, insisting on eating the one food I could barely stomach the sight of? Yeah, my kid wasn't winning all the cool points those days.

3. You'll cry.

Mostly for silly stuff. Sometimes because your baby is so big now--sometimes because they're still too small for the responsibility of being a big sibling.

4. You'll want them to grow up.

You'll probably want potty training or whatever thing you're teaching them to go a little quicker, so you'll have a safe window for setbacks before the new baby arrives. (There will be regressions. Get ready.)

5. You'll want time to freeze so you can have them at exactly this size, for a while longer.

While you'll want the new big kid skills, it will break your heart wide open when your little snuggle bug doesn't need you.

Seriously. I weep at the memory of offering my son a hug and him casually blowing me off to cuddle his Mickey doll instead. Touché, son...touché.

6. It'll all drag by too slowly.

You can't wait to introduce your babies!

7. It all goes by too fast.

One minute you have a toddler whom you're already well-versed with caring for--and the next you are both staring at a wrinkly new stranger wondering how you'll ever manage with two who are so small!

8. You'll feel as if both babies are being slighted.

Your toddler is still too new for the responsibility of being a big sibling, or to share your care and attention so soon.

Your newborn is so tiny and so dependent on you--how will you manage to take the best care of them knowing you're still so needed by your toddler?

9. You'll fear the sibling rivalry before it ever has a chance to show itself.

I'm still petrified that my younger two will hate each other. My son might resent the baby for intruding on his babyness. The baby might in turn resent me for not spacing them better or hiring more help so they can at least get one on one. (For the record, I currently don't have nannies--although I am heavily considering it.)

10. It'll all even out...eventually.

As all things do. Hold your head!

Namastè.

-- Tayè K.

So You Wanna Be A Product Reviewer, Part Deux: Tayè's Faves and Fumbles

Namastè!

Last post, I was spilling the goods about being a product reviewer. This time, I'll be lacing you up about influencer programs I am or was a part of and why I love or don't love them.

If you're like me, you enjoy sharing info about products and services, gizmos and gadgets--you like being an influencer! But you're not always sure which route to take. There are LOTS of influencer platforms, and you don't know where to start. Do you qualify for this? Do you need a huge following for that?

I'm a member of several influencer platforms, and I have some spare time today to dish about them.  Here are ones I like best, along with ones I failed miserably at.

Don't forget: Anytime you have a question about a blog post, you can drop me a message (and a like--don't just hop in my inbox without showing some love), on my FB! No FB? Find--and FOLLOW--me on the Insta. (Again, don't just drop in my DMs without a follow, sheesh.)

🏆 Product Report Card

Sign up at: ProductReportCard.com

Type: Survey-based influencer program with paid in-home product tests, online focus groups, and shopping missions.

Benefits: Pays cash via gift cards, PayPal, or check. (Must accrue $25 to cash out.) Even if you take the survey and are not selected to proceed further, you receive 0.10 for your time.

Pros: Everything is paid. The in-home product tests feature full size products--often complete product lines, for example shampoo and conditioner, or a mixer and attachments. There is live customer care, an actual phone number, and the representatives regularly (and generally, fairly quickly) answer emails. Your activity within the site determines how many opportunities you get, and how big they are--register your products and take surveys as often as possible to land the big fish! The surveys are not long and do not collect your email. PRC does not share your information with other companies, and you will only receive invites to surveys from PRC, not 50 million other sites. Once rewards move from pending to available, you can generally get your cash the same day if via PayPal or eGift card.

Cons: It's survey based--if you do not like surveys or are lazy about turning in feedback, this won't be a good fit. Rewards can take a while to move from pending status to available. If PayPal and gift card processing is down, the paper check can take up to 14 business days to arrive. You will likely receive many small opportunities before the big ones roll in. It can be frustrating to receive dime after dime when you don't qualify for surveys. (They are double blind--PRC does not release your info to any company, and they don't receive detailed information about the survey stipulations, therefore they cannot guarantee you a spot.) Even if you qualify for the full survey, you may not get into the study, shopping mission, or in-home product tests.

Bottom Line? I have been a part of PRC since 2016 and have made $600 or so. I like the different ways to participate--you can earn money by registering things you already own, by in-home product tests, by shopping missions, or by research surveys. The surveys pay anywhere from 0.50 to 25.00! (I live with a toddler, so on any given day I answering questions, many times, for free.) I recommend this platform to anyone who likes earning a little coinage for very little work.

🏆 HouseParty

Sign up at: HouseParty.fun

Type: An influencer program based on house parties. Remember those Tupperware parties? HouseParty is those, but with a huge variety of fun items ranging from food and drinks to gadgets to alcohol to cleaning products.

Pros: HouseParty has a program for every niche. The sample packs include a generous amount of product for your guests, plus some epic branded swag for the host/hostess too. (High-value coupons, tee shirts, cups, cozies, you name it.) You don't need huge social media followings to qualify. While none of the gigs are paid, you receive valuable items and coupons. If you are active, you'll always know about the upcoming party opportunities. The parties are typically first come, first serve basis; if you know first, you get to go first.

Cons: The mobile app is pointless outside doing the activities prior to/related to hosting a party--you can only see the available parties but must log in to the full site to apply. The mobile site is buggy also--it often requests a password reset. Like, repeatedly. And logging in is difficult. You'll end up resetting your password several times because the mobile site glitches.

Bottom line? Despite this site working best via computer (which I rarely have time to use), I like HouseParty a LOT. I have done a few parties with them and my guests always love the products and games. I love the thoughtful branded swag--they don't give out just any old thing. I'm looking forward to doing more events with them--and hoping they get their mobile interface and app together so I can participate even more.

🏆 Moms Meet

Sign up at: momsmeet.com

Type: An influencer program for moms who favor a healthier, more nature-based lifestyle.

Pros: Everything about MomsMeet is a plus, from my personal experience. High-quality products, high-value coupons, and easy qualification to receive said coupons and products. You can participate three ways: group (for the social butterly party mavens), blogger line (obvious), or the express program (you sample an item on your own and give feedback via survey on MomsMeet.com).

Cons: Programs fill up super fast. Sometimes the "you've got in" email will arrive on the same day as your package, so stay ready. Bigger demo ops almost ALWAYS go to those with bigger followings.

Bottom line? I totally like Moms Meet. I've discovered some new staples and gotten to test new varieties of old favorites. Because I'm a green mama, I like their focus on enviromentally-responsible, ethically-sourcing, and fair-trade practicing companies.

🏆 MomSelect

Sign up at: MomSelect.com

Type: An approval-based influencer platform for moms.

Pros: It was fairly easy to be approved--I did the application on a Monday and had an acceptance email by Wednesday. Via MomSelect I got into the Chick-fil-A Moms Panel--which is pretty epic considering how much I love Chick-fil-A. They don't send a ton of emails. The opportunities are geared toward moms, so you can safely expect lots of baby and kid gear and fun products for moms and kids alike.

Cons: I have been a member of MomSelect for over a year now and I still don't quite understand how it works. The opportunities appear to be awarded based on social media follows and/or location. Moms in major cities with large follow counts get car seat programs and event opportunities, whereas if you are rural or have a small fanbase, you get restaurants. While I do enjoy the Chick-fil-A panel, I'm not sure what our purpose is--there is an FB group but it's generally just moms loving or complaining about their local Chick-fil-A, or suggesting 5-star menu items for a place thats a casual dining joint at best. There are no definite benefits, because every restaurant has different parameters about community engagement. I will be able to do a lot more at home versus in Albany, where community engagement is scarce and everything is bound around sales only.

Bottom line? I can't offer a concrete analysis of MomSelect, as I don't know exactly how beneficial it can be. I either have to grow exponentially or move to a huge city--and neither of those are happening. I dig my Chick-fil-A panel membership--but I'm not sure that's enough to sway my opinion on MomSelect. I need more time to investigate.

🏆 Tomoson

Sign up at: Tomoson.com

Type: Influencer platform with both paid and for-product-only opportunities.

Pros: Anyone can join! Programs are awarded two ways: you contact the sellers OR the sellers contact you. Wide variety of items and services available. Includes content for YouTube afficionados--paid unoxing and demo programs. You can receive a digest daily with your offers, updates on your requests, and ops that fit your profile.

Cons: You need Amazon PRIME for some programs. Because it's an influencer platform, those with small followings and engagement scores may be overlooked for everything but the smallest ops. Companies are slow to respond. Spam offers exist. Be wary of anyone who offers to refund you product cost versus offering a discount or free item--they may conveniently disappear when it's time to refund your money!

Bottom line? Tomoson is not my favorite, because it's so tedious. I'm fine with applying for an op, but I'm not fine with not having control over which companies can contact my profile. It's also annoying that they system doesn't update. My stats have to be refreshed each time, because it still shows me with 12 FB likes and 4 IG follows.

...

If you like a more straightforward program, check these out!

☞ BzzAgent

Sign up at: BzzAgent.com

BzzAgent is another survey-based influencer program with in-home product tests. The more surveys you complete, the higher your BzzScore. Keep your score high and you'll get the bigger product tests--instead of coupons for a discounted Barbie, you might get her dream house!

Pros: Free full-size products. Easy qualification. No excess emails. Anyone can join! Social media isn't required, but it definitely helps--and you don't need a massive following! Surveys are separated into two categories: qualifier surveys and general interest surveys--you know exactly which ones will put you in the running for a sample op versus which ones will simply raise your BzzScore.

Cons: They don't update you about new surveys--you must log in. BzzScore can be raised easily by surveys, but it's unclear how they drop. BzzScore drops a lot more quickly than it raises.

Bottom line? I like it. In fact, I am awaiting a BzzKit now. *squeal*

☞ Smiley360

Sign up at: smiley360.com

Type: Sampling program, survey-based.

Pros: Sometimes you get full-size product samples, which is really cool. Each Smiley pack (as I call them) comes pretty quickly too, no waiting for weeks or months. You can do more than one mission at a time, too.

Cons: I can't really think of any, except that the missions fill up super quickly. Also, you won't receive tracking info so every package WILL be a surprise!

Bottom line? Give this one a whirl if you want minimal surveys (theirs are very short and to the point) but maximum sample ops! You never know what missions they will offer next, and they have a wide range of offerings. I've even done a crafting mission with them for Valentine's Day.

🏆 PINCHme

Sign up at: Pinchme.com

Type: Sampling program

Pros: Little to no surveys. You can select up to six samples for each PINCHme box. Also includes free magazine subscriptions as well as discounts via sponsored offers from their partners. The new program awards tokens, which puts you in the running for the elusive, exclusive DELUXE PINCHme box, which is packed to the gills with full-size samples. The regular PINCHme samples are great for travel or padding gift baskets.

Cons: Takes forever to receive a PINCHme box. Sample Tuesday is forever "sold out"--it's first come, first serve, but they don't have nearly as many samples as participants. Some Pinchers get a box each offering, while many end up only occasionally lucking out. Plus, you're going through all this racing against the clock for little bitty samples and coupons no more valuable than the ones in your Sunday paper. Even if you are granted an early RSVP to the sampling events, so were thousands of others. They demand near-immediate feedback, even when the samples haven't arrived. (Notoriously slow shipping.)

Bottom line: I have basically phased out my PINCHme participation. I almost feel like I'm taking up unnecessary space in their roster, because I'm not excited about the program like when I joined. I don't request PINCHme boxes most offerings because they take two or three months to arrive. I also don't like the pressure for feedback--I'm an avid reviewer, never late.

...

I hope that amazing mouthful was helpful!

While you cannot base your opinions solely on my experiences (at least, I hope not--my "no thank you" might be your "yes heavens!!!"), you can use the information to decide if you'd like to experiment a little further.

I recommend each of these for anyone trying to find their influencer program niche, because each of them has something--whether it's easy approval, limited surveys, or great additional perks. Even the ones I don't like for myself, might work out seemingly for one of you.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

So You Wanna Be a Product Reviewer?

Namastè!

Brand rep. Affiliate. Reviewer. Influencer.

You see those words in Instagram and Twitter bios. Hashtags like #ad, #sponsored, #gotitfree, and #promo pop up all over social media.

How are they doing it? What do those things even mean or entail? Can anyone do it?

Well... Let's break it on down!

Brand rep?

A brand rep is a person, chosen by a specific brand or company, to represent their product. Brand representative. These people, in exchange for free or discounted items or services (and social media promotion from the brand for aspiring models and InstaCelebs), share and promote the product. This includes unboxings, photos, and social media posts. A brand rep never speaks of the products in a negative light--they are paid promotional consideration in exchange for their enthusiasm and love of the product.

To become a brand rep you can do one of a few things. Contact the brands directly--Instagram or website "contact us" forms. You might need a big following, but then again I have managed to snag a few rep spots even as a relatively new social media presence. Popularity is great but what they really look for is engagement, so sont let a small follow count deter you. What works best for me is to send an actual letter, with an SASE (self-addressed, stamped envelope) enclosed for their reply. Snail mail is so 1997...but it shows the company that you have a real interest. Plus you are guaranteed to stand out--media and public relations employees handle millions of emails but not nearly as many actual letters.

Note: If the search is being conducted online, as many are, you can skip the letter. BUT don't forget a thank you note, whether you are chosen or not. Good manners stand out long after the search ends, and look way better than even the best photos. Brand rep terms can be as short as a few weeks or as long as a year. (Depends on the company!)

Introduce yourself and tell them why you would be an excellent brand rep. To stand out, you'll definitely want to tag the brands in photos of you enjoying their products. Personally I find it easier to engage with companies we already love versus randomly picking one off Instagram (or wherever). I generally work with companies I already love, and when I branch out into new territory it's because they have created a product or service that meshes with my lifestyle.

Caveat: When choosing companies to apply to as brand reps, make sure they are in your price range. Sometimes there's a purchase clause in the contract and, either in addition to or in order to get your freebie or discount, you'll need to make a purchase. Some companies require three purchases or more within your term. Make sure it's a commitment you can make and honor, because being a brand rep does involve a contract. Also, don't do it just for the freebies. You should have a genuine enthusiasm for the product, not just a desire to get free stuff.

Affiliate?

An affiliate is a person who promotes a product or service for a company, in exchange for a commission and/or discount. They (the affiliate) have their own special sales link, which lets the company or website trace any purchases or clicks back to each affiliate. Affiliate commissions are paid out as defined by the terms in your agreement, which could be as often as weekly or as spaced out as quarterly.

Like brand reps, affiliates need to have a real enthusiasm and passion for the products they promote. It'd be kinda hard for a snowman to sell you on the wonderfulness of hot chocolate, but someone in the southern US can certainly get you hyped about a snow cone in Georgia in the middle of July!

To become an affiliate, check the company's website to see if they have a program. Fill out the application. They will call, email, or direct message you their decision and/or your link and instructions to get started.

All you have to do is actively promote your product and make sure you direct people to your link for purchase. It isn't nearly as pushy as sales, and your friends aren't buying from you but the actual company. You're just getting a little bonus along the way for leading them with your link.

Reviewer?

Literally anyone can be a product reviewer. In fact, most of us actually are already!

A reviewer simply uses a product, then tells what they do and don't like about it. Whether by face to face or online communication, product reviews have been around as long as products have.

Becoming a reviewer online can have many perks through, if you are willing to go the extra mile for it. The better, more descriptive, and more detailed your reviews are, the more they will be noticed. You'll want to have excellent grammar and punctuation,  and stay on subject. Dazzle them with your descriptive prowess and you'll go from requesting products to having companies request you!

Initially, you'll be buying your own products. My best tip is to review some things you already own, on the company site as well as the store out purchased it from. Share your thoughts, along with some good images, on your social media. Tags and hashtags will get you noticed. (Both IG and Twitter will show you how many users are sharing and viewing particular hashtags as you type, so choose the most popular relevant hashtag for maximum views--some have millions, whereas others have only a few. And you can always start up one!)

Visibility is key if you want to venture into sponsored reviews and demos. A sponsored review or demo is when, in exchange for honest review and demonstration, a company provides a reviewer with their product. They may send one item or one entire product line! Sponsored reviews might also include a giveaway, a discount code, or cash compensation. Companies are usually pretty generous once you get past the initial vetting, so make sure you put your best foot forward.

Notice I said visibility--not necessarily popularity. While companies definitely like numbers, they prefer actual engagement even more. Posting an Instagram or FB image to a million followers is good, and at 20% engagement you're getting 50K reactions and comments. BUT... 75% engagement from that same post, shared to only 400 followers, means much more. So don't let a small follow count deter you. Strength in numbers might actually mean strength in YOUR numbers. If you can get 300 viewers to talk about and share info on a product, you will possibly garner and surpass that same 50K from the reviewer with a million follows and yours would be active engagements! You would actually win. The companies don't only want to be seen; they want people discussing their offerings, checking them out, and purchasing them!

My personal rule for reviews is, I only actually blog about products I like and would recommend. I review whatever piques my interest, but I reserve my blog articles (always very in-depth, with photos and video) for things I'm absolutely into. I share my less-than-stellar experiences too, but I'm not one to write an entire blog post about a product I don't like. While I definitely don't love everything, I also don't love putting a shadow on the light that is, my blog. *chuckle*

Influencer?

Influencers, as their name suggests, are people who have the social clout to influence their friends and followers about a product.

For example,  in my circle I am the breastpump expert. Because I have this extensive knowledge of pumps and accessories, I am an influencer when it comes to these products. My friends and associates trust my opinion and look to me to see what the next best thing is. They trust me. They know I won't lead them wrong.

An influencer needs clout--both in numbers and engagement. You must be able to get a conversation going about a product, and people should want it because you talk about it. You're essentially the face of the brand so to speak.

Becoming an influencer is pretty easy--I'll share some programs I am a part of in the next post so stay tuned! You sign up, take a few surveys, and they match you with products and companies that fit your profile.

It does work a little easier if you've got a huge following. As always, I say go for it anyway. What disqualifies someone else might be the very thing that makes the selectors qualify you on the spot...

In short, these are all pretty sweet gigs. At the very minimum, you might end up with a few coupons and possibly even some free merchandise.

At the very maximum,  you'll get to represent a brand you enjoy, or collect a little commission from sales of something you already use, love, and talk about anyway!

Be honest when applying and requesting opportunities. While a free or discounted product is always nice, it's more important to give your honest, sincere feedback. YOU DON'T HAVE TO "LOVE" EVERYTHING. However, be sure that you're expressing your negative experience and not bashing the brand. (Whenever I post a negative review, I always point out whatever I could say was good about the product also, even if it is only that I liked the packaging.) Don't be that person who requests items you cannot even use, or who grabs at every opportunity whether you want it or not just to have an item. Just as someone is missing their perfect opportunity due to your greed, you might miss your perfect and possibly even better opportunity because you take whatever is available instead of focusing on those that truly fit your lifestyle.

I can't stress the honesty part enough.

Also, make sure you can commit to the deadlines and time frames to submit your feedback. The companies and brands aren't just sending you a freebie--they are doing so in exchange for feedback and experiences. In the promo contract (a contract is an exchange of benefits and detriments, by the way--benefits are what you get and detriments are your responsibilities), their consideration is the product or service they extended to you in good faith. Your consideration is your feedback, media, and shared experience. Whether it's a pack of gum or a luxury vacation, DON'T SKIMP OUT ON YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES REGARDING THESE OPPORTUNITIES. If you do, you'll find them coming less and less frequently and becoming smaller and smaller.

Be thorough in your narratives.  Don't just say, "I liked Simpson gum." Tell them what you liked about it, when you enjoyed chewing it most, how many places you've purchased it from since your promo pack, and how many times you've spoken about your new favorite gun, in how many situations and places. If you didn't like Simpson gum, let them know what they could do to improve--a better or different flavor, a bigger package, a better value for their price point.

These are all things I've done to increase my opportunities in each of these shades of brand and product promotion. I've gotten very lucrative cash-paid reviews and I've gotten reviews where I'm paid in product and promotion of my blog and social media. The best one of all was when when I was selected to be part of the Mimijumi Dark Nipple product launch. My son's image can still be found in their social media shares and I've partnered with them several times since. They're the official bottle of Castle Namastè.

Lastly, you can't be afraid of rejection. The companies dish that out by the boatload. I'm pretty sure there is a script somewhere that reads, "We are already booked with collabs for the year!" & "We require *insert impossible follower amount* to collaborate with bloggers." You have to be invested enough to care about the potential collaboration, but thick-skinned enough that the many NOs reviewers get (when reaching out for sponsored reviews, giveaways, and collaborations) don't deter you from applying at all.

So...get going! In the next post, I'll tell you about how to sign up for sending good influencer progrs, some of which even offer cash incentives for surveys. Italy not be enough to pay the rent, but it'll definitely be enough to #treatyoself to a little something via Etsy or your preferred online shop.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Newborn Essentials...

Namastè!

New babies are the toast, y'all. So sweet. They are just the most.

...and they need the most stuff.

Or do they?

I went over my own registry with a fine-toothed comb.  What did I end up using? What do I wish we got more of? What have I already exchanged? What do I wish we never bought at all?! I'll get into all that here, as well as what items my little Tiger Lily loves. (Moms and babies don't always agree on gear. For example, none of my babies ever preferred their bassinets, although I liked them a lot.)

Let's break this down by categories.

Baby Gear

Oy, the options! Travel system or 3-in-1 and separate stroller? Bouncy seat or swing? Pack and play or baby gates?!

I love baby gear. The techier, the better. My husband and I spent many hours comparing and contrasting different items. We hadn't bought baby gear for nearly a decade after Princess so we weren't even sure what things were like! Here's what we got.

☆ Car seat
* For Brother Bear,  we got a travel system and ended up switching to a 3-in-1. For Tiger Lily, we skipped the infant seat and got a 3-in-1 from the start.
☆ Strollabout
*Brother Bear's travel system came with a spiffy, comfy jogging stroller, but for Tiger Lily we got this fancy Euro bassinet/Strollabout/rolling luxury bed type thing. We also sprang for a sweet double.
☆ Pack & Play - mainly for travel; we love the one with the Cuddle Cove!
☆ Mamaroo - Hubby Namastè thought this was just an over-hyped Bouncy seat until he saw it in action...now we own two.
☆ Rock & Play - This, we ended up giving away. We have quite possibly the only babies in America who are not in love with this thing.

Breastfeeding

I already own multiple pumps, so the only thing I needed for this portion of the list were:

☆ Flanges
☆ Membranes
☆ Tubing
☆ Rechargeable AAs for the battery pack
☆ Cute Bag
☆ Bamboobies
☆ Parachute brand coconut oil
☆ Breastmilk removal soap and wipes for pump bag
☆ Kiinde pouches
☆ Kiinde twist breastfeeding gift set (mainly for the Kozii 😍 warmer)

I splurged on a few tops and some new nursing bras. Oversupply means my cups runneth over once again, and while my regular tops fit fine, I like the panels in nursing tops--who really wants to pull their shirt over their head or stretch the neckline to nurse?! (I have and will, judge me if you wish. I just prefer easier access.)

Bottlefeeding

☆ Mimijumi Not-So-Hungry baby Bottle
☆ Mimijumi Dark nipple

We don't introduce bottles until around 4 or months, as I greatly prefer to nurse. (For me it is much easier, and I get more sleep--whip out the boob and feed, then back to snoozing versus stopping to wash bottles and caps and such.) So bottles aren't a major purchase. When we do give bottles, our firstk choice is always going to be the Mimi with the dark nipple. (Our son was a brand model for them and I love everything this company stands for!) The Not-So-Hungry bottle is 4 ounces. We pace feed, so that's plenty. We have the Very Hungry Baby bottle too, but neither of the tiniest bears has ever taken more than 5 ounces or so.

Diapering

I like cloth diapers. They're cute. However I don't use them when we travel...mama's car won't be stained, nor will I be hauling soiled ones between destinations. Sue me. *shrugs* (I know, I know...cloth diapers are absorbent and all that goodness. I also know my car smells like a honey blossom, and I like that.)

I made a few cloth diapers that held up pretty darn well, but my favorites are prefolds.

☆ FuzziBuns prefolds (choose your pattern!)
☆ Liners
☆ Wet bin
☆ Soiled bin
☆ Sprayer attachment for laundry sink
☆ Space to hang them

Note: I rinse ours downstairs at the laundry sink. I imagine a hose pipe would do nicely as well but I don't do them outside.

Disposables are simple enough. I like Pampers!

☆ Pampers
☆ Wipes
☆ Disposal baggies

...and of course a nice bag. (I use a diaper bag that looks more like a purse, because the cutesy characters don't hold my interest long.)

Clothing

Clothing is a big thing. The first thing we do after the gender reveal--buy a wardrobe. Which, from personal experience, the baby either grows out of within two weeks or never wears it in the first place. (Mine were more likely to not have worn the little outfits at all, as in the haze of those early days and weeks, I prioritize feeding and sleep over the hundred outfit dash.)

We got by on onesies, gowns, and socks. So many socks. The baby wore the same, by the way. *chuckle* Our shopping list was super simple. Because we knew the hospital would give us a stash of newborn tee shirts, we bought everything in 0-3 to start.

☆ 8 Short-sleeved onesies
☆ 8 long-sleeved onesies
☆ 8 pairs of newborn socks
☆ 8 gowns (I really like the ones with the scratch sleeves--they fold over baby's hands like a scratch mitten--and are one less item to lose/wear/wash)
☆ 8 one-piece pajamas (footie jammies--perfect for early appointments and snuggles because seriously, baby looks like a little teddy bear!)
☆ Scratch mittens
☆ 4 pairs of newborn pants
☆ One glorious dramatic coming-home outfit that never actually saw the light of day because I didn't have the heart to disturb the baby to change them into it. *sighs*
☆ Newborn hats! I'd recommend two or three, depending on how warm you're willing to keep the house. And how willing your little one is to actually wear them. Good luck.

My babies didn't get much use of the pants, as they hated anything on their little legs. They also never wore hats for more than a minute or two.

Sleepy time!

Sleepy time needs sleepy gear, eh? Baby's bedroom is the fun part of this prep.

☆ Crib
☆ Good quality mattress
☆ Sheets
☆ Mobile
☆ Video monitor
☆ White noise machine

I don't use bumpers or comforters or any of the extra fluffy stuff for cribs. I like safe and simple. My babies primarily sleep in their beds for naps anyway. Their rooms are cute, but not as Instagram overdone as Princess Namastè's was.

NOTE: Because I nurse, we cosleep. Call it what you will--I logged 6 hours a night WITH a tiny baby and for that, I'll take your judgment, butter it, and dunk it in my chai. Added bonus: because sleep has never been a battle of wills, I've not had to endure or inflict sleep training.

☆ Wall art
☆ Changing table
☆ Rocker and ottoman IF you'll actually be spending time there

Honestly we didn't spend much time in our babies' rooms. We lived in the living room, so the nursery was never a big deal besides the occasional photo.

Co-Sleeping

We considered all the options but after not losing a ton of sleep with Brother Bear, we already knew we'd be co-sleeping with Tiger Lily too. While it doesn't require anything special, I do recommend one item...

☆ Dockatot co-sleeper

Playtime

Babies don't really play at first. But they do need different things to look at and you can't go wrong with a few simple staples. Get some good contrasting colors so baby can gaze at them early on--newborns love high contrast, as it's easier for them to see.

☆ Boppy pillow for tummy time
☆ Play gym (the one we have actually converts to a ball pit when baby is older!)
☆ High-contrast books
☆ Sophie la Girafe

We generally buy toys as they grow, rather than pile up a bunch of stuff they can't use yet and risk overwhelming them with a toy they're not quite ready for yet.

Things I Didn't Buy

Sometimes new parents get caught up in the whirlwind of shopping for baby and completely lose themselves. Because I've done this three times now, there were some items I skipped with Brother Bear and Tiger Lily. 

🚫Wipe warmer
We had one with Princess. The wipes dried out because we kept forgetting it was there.
🚫Regular Bottle Warmer
We didn't use bottles with Princess--she went from breast to cup. (I did buy the Kiinde warmer, as it is designed to safely warm breast milk.)
🚫 Car seat canopy/strap covers
Aftermarket items do NOT belong on a car seat. They can defeat the seat's safety. Save the cutesy stuff for outfits, 'K?
🚫 Diaper Genie
We cloth at home. Plus of you use the Genie infrequently enough to forget to empty it, it still stinks like a landfill.
🚫 Newborn clothing
Aside from one or two special outfits, we stuck to 0-3 and up.
🚫 Stuffed animals
Large ones, anyway. Each kid has a special lovey, but they're all small. We didn't invest in a playroom full of them because one, dust. Two, everyone else buys plushies for babies. It's like an unspoken rule.
🚫 Baby laundry detergent
We use a "free and clear" detergent already, so despite that lovely fragrance, we didn't cave to the pressure for sweet scented laundry soap.

Things I Got But Returned or Donated

As careful as I tried to be, and as practical, I still ended up with a few duds.

🚫 Rock & Play
Tiger Lily was having none of it. Not on day one and not on day twenty-one.
🚫 4Moms Rockaroo
The Mamaroo is just better.
🚫 Exersaucer
Everyone loves these. Our babies did not. Which was a bummer to me, but eh, can't win them all.
🚫 Bumbo seat
Neither of the littlest Namastè took to it. But they did gnaw on it!

...

I'm no expert. I'm just a mom who's spent--and regretted--likely more than my share of obey on items I both loved and hated, used and ignored. I hope my experiences are helpful but feel free to do as you wish! Maybe something that didn't work for me will be a gem for you.

Namastè!

-- ♡Tayè K.

Why I Don't Send My Kid On Playdates Yet.

Namastè!

I'm up tonight with a worry I hadn't anticipated for at least two or three more years. You know, kindergarten age?!

My baby bear has been invited on his first playdate sans parents. Unattended. ALONE. And obviously it wasn't with a family member, as we don't have any nearby anymore.

As in, he would be going to his little pal's house to play and have a snack. Alone. As in, I wouldn't be there. This concerns me greatly for several reasons, which I'll expand on momentarily.

Before we go any further, I said no.

He cannot go on a playdate without one of us (Dad or me) present.

The idea of leaving him anywhere bothers me.

No, I don't populate our life with nefarious, ne'er do well types. I don't think our friends would ever harm our little guy. I know they all love him dearly.

The things are (because there's more than one!)...

1. Our man cub is only two.

He's still a baby. Babies need to be where? With mom and dad. There are other worries with him being so young.

I would not be comfortable with just anyone taking him to the bathroom.

2. What kind of environment is the home, really?

Are they as patient with their child at home as they are at Mommy and Me class? Is it a safe environment? (No smoking? No drinking while my kid is there? Will there be constant CONSCIOUS supervision--not two toddlers getting up to mischief while the hosting parent clicks and taps away in their phone?)

In 2018 the same people you eat lunch with, chat online with, or even Grill in the park with, can be horrible. I'd hate to unknowingly send my child into a home where racist jokes, ideals, and attitudes are commonplace. I'd hate to send him into a home where there is constant discord. I can't protect him from everything, forever, but I assure you he will not experience people's ignorance right now.

3. Will the hosts respect my boundaries?

While I'm not a helicopter or a loon, I have certain rules. I don't want the person supervising my child to be more engrossed in their phone than watching and making sure he's not doing anything to hurt himself or their house. Speaking of phones...It'd be pretty heckin' gnarly if I DON'T see my kid on their Snapchat or Instagram story.

5. Will they treat him fairly and kindly when I'm not around?

People can be the salt of the earth when they're right there before you. Because I am such a people watcher, I am very vigilant when it comes to who is allowed the privilege of time with my little ones. (Yes, I consider it a privilege--you should consider time with your kids a privilege too!) They don't meet everyone. They don't spend time around everyone. They most definitely don't go home with everyone!

I don't care how well I know you, or how well I think I do because honestly who really know?!

I watch people's mannerisms super carefully--how they respond to stress, how they react to the unexpected, how they handle anger. While most of that generally has nothing to do with my child, it also has EVERYTHING to do with my child! He's two. When he is tired or cranky, how will the host react? When he forgets his manners, how will they respond?

I don't say if because, again, he is two. Right now he is still learning. He is figuring out what he can and cannot do, as well as beginning to learn what he should and should not do.

The only people required to be patient and kind to him are his father and me. We are responsible for guiding him, teaching him, and (when necessary) disciplining him. Right now he's too young to be away, because while he can talk quite well, he needs to be able to articulate exactly what happens. He needs to have an unshakeable understanding about his body and why no one is to violate his space. He needs to know one, he can tell us anything and two, he will be protected.

Two is just not old enough.

Coming back to the here and now...my kid is peacefully snoozing in his bed. Tomorrow will be a whole new day of fresh adventures. He'll wave to the postal carrier. He'll have snack with his sister. He'll practice being gentle and using an indoor voice.

...when he's a little older, we will definitely let him hang out with his buddies. He'll do unattended playdates and outings, maybe even sleepovers.

But right now, no.

Right now, he is my little bear, and I am not ashamed or afraid to say his time belongs to me. I know he's being treated well and being exposed to only what's appropriate. At this point, I have full reign over what he soaks up.

I hold this responsibility near and dear.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡