Is THIS What Holidays Are Now?!

Namastè!

One of my fairly unpopular opinions ahead! Youve been warned. I am really working on sorting out my disenchantment with this season, and a huge part of it lies in materialism.

Before I even get started, this is an opinion post. (Most of my pieces are!) I won't judge, but I will call a spade nothing else. Holidays have become a competition among parents, some of which can barely afford regular days. Where does this pressure come from?! Why do we buy dance shoes for kids who aren't yet walking? Why do we have infinite funds for toys and glitzy outfits but don't buy life insurance or pay for health coverage? WHY is having STUFF more important than having substance? Just...ugh.

Family Namastè isn't really huge into buying tons of gifts. The kids are always super thrilled for like three days, then they're back to fighting over their old toys.

We do like giving them presents, don't misconstrue me. We just don't go to extremes. For example, Baby Namastè will not be receiving hundreds of dollars in toys he is either not old enough for or won't be able to play with. Meanwhile Princess did receive an item she has been wishing for, for a while now. (We didn't make her wait on purpose--availability of this item is a witch!) ALL the kids will receive their golden item.

Part of what depresses me about the holidays is the compulsion to buy shameful amounts of stuff for kids who simply won't care.

I'm a mom, a veteran one of sorts, because I've been through almost every stage of parenting. I've felt the excitement of those pink lines. I've waited anxiously for the first trimester to pass. I've been smitten with tiny kicks. I've snuggled my small fries from newborn to preteen, and enjoyed/cried over/muddled through/rejoiced at the end of each stage in between.

I never got bitten by the "gotta have" bug though, and I am glad. I don't want my kids to be greedy. I certainly don't deprive them--they each get half birthdays as well as regular birthdays, with celebration of each. They receive treats and trinkets fairly often.

I just get really disenchanted because I feel like everything is about buy-buy-buy and GIMME-GIMME-GIMME now.

When I was a kid, part of the holiday season involved going to the nursing homes to sing and fellowship with the residents. I didn't grow up rich, so we would all make gifts for our friends in addition to the little items we could buy with our allowances. It wasn't about running to Walmart to buy up every toy, then scouring the boutiques for every bow and bauble.

There's a generation coming along now--am I revealing my age?!--that will only know to expect the tree to overflow, but they probably will not think to be a blessing to someone else. They will have photographers at every forseeable event in their little sweet lives, but they may not develop the beauty inside that we see in their photos. They will see their parents make horrid financial decisions in the name of having the best stuff, but they won't have security.

This time of year tends to be lonely for us because we are repulsed by those things. We come from humble beginnings and while our circumstances now are quite a far cry from his village and my family farm, we like to keep things cool. We want the kids to feel the real magic--the feeling of effecting joy for others generally doubles your own, you know? We spend most of the holidays tucked away at home, enjoying the simple things: family movie nights, cookies and cocoa by the fireplace, and trimming the tree.

I guess I'm missing the feeling of community. Would y'all believe we actually used to go caroling?! My siblings, cousins, and neighbors would bundle up close to the holidays and literally go caroling! At every house there'd be a freshly baked cookie or a respite from the cold if we'd been out a while. We used to help our neighbors do their outdoor decorations. The family unit kind of extended into the community, and we'd all enjoy the season together like a giant neighborhood family.

Now it is mainly about outdoing the next person--buy the most expensive/biggest gifts, in the highest number, to show the most strangers online that we love our families the most. Forget community. Forget others. Forget teaching anything. It makes me sad.

To make myself feel a little better, I'm practicing exactly what I preach. I'm making sure my kids understand that to whom much is given, much is required. They've had a small taste of what it feels like to lose everything--we work to (hopefully) ensure they won't again, but we want them to appreciate and reciprocate as well.

Ideally, we will send some assertive, ambitious, philanthropic little people into the world to carry our name when we are no more. The tools we are giving them may not play music, light up, or hold 20 dolls easily--but they will help them develop into successful people.

Going into financial straits or spending excessive amounts to fete one day simply doesn't fit into our plan for the other 364.

There will be gifts though. Gifts and fun. They're children, and we aren't scrooges. While we are dismayed at society in general, we never tire of the happiness we get from seeing them excited or happy about something.

We also never tire of teaching them to be a joy to others. The world doesn't need more brats. (And no--kids who get tons of stuff are NOT always brats.)

Ugh. I vented. Now I need tea.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡