Little Boy, Long Hair.

Namastè!

Feels like I should be blowing dust off this site! Sheesh. I'm working on a big surprise, dear tribe, so I'm running fore and aft, hither and yon, at breakneck pace.

No matter. I'm here now and so are you!

As you know, Baby Namastè's now Toddler Namastè. He isn't very tall yet (snickers) but he's strong, fat, and adorable. He is the kind of cute that, unfortunately, is often associated with girls.

Drink this in. His lashes are to die for. Seriously, my little king has these big doe-like eyes, framed by a set of lashes that would make any mascara vixen buckle at her knees. His eyes fall in a hazy area between brown and gray--in brighter light, the gray shows more. (Which also prompts people to stop and ask, "What color are his eyes?!")  His skin looks like toasted honey.

Yes, he's a looker.

As you know, either by previous posts (especially here) or actual conversations, I am very big on body autonomy with these gorgeous kids of mine.

This means their bodies are theirs. I don't pierce their ears, paint their nails, or force them to allow hugs or kisses--even from us, mom and dad.

I am also a huge proponent of what I like to call personal autonomy. I don't share their names, anecdotes, achievements, or downfalls publicly. My choices of being a blogger and having social media were mine. While a good bit of it all is indeed about being Amma, I respect that they don't necessarily need all the exposure.

Digression.

This also means I don't cut their hair.

Period.

For Princess, this means shoulder-length hair that she or I can tie and twist into any myriad of styles.

For Baby Namastè, it means we will encounter any one of several schools of thought.  I now present our favorites, the aptly-monikered, "Things People Say to Parents of Boys with Long Hair."

"His hair is so nice. How long will you allow it to grow?"

To which we smile and politely divulge that it is on him as to how long it grows. If he wants it chopped like a freshly-shorn lamb, he shall have that. If he wants to follow in the footsteps of Troy Palomalu, then we will invest in some great combs and a ton of coconut oil.

Ah, then there's the others.

"Why haven't you cut his hair? He will look like a girl!"

No, Debra, he won't look like a girl. He is never dressed in feminine attire. His hair is not adorned with bows and beads. At most I will braid it or connect the tails so they look like braids.)

He generally has a man bun. One tail just at the crown of his head. Completely unfussed-with, a simple measure so his hair doesn't get in his eyes.

He won't look live a little girl, Debra. Project your archaic stuff elsewhere.

"Did you really want a girl, and that's why his hair isn't cut?"

When I was pregnant, I really wanted a sandwich--but I don't dress him in honey wheat bread.

No, I didn't want a girl. I wanted that kid born. He was Frank breech and was not delivered by cesarean. He could have been a unicorn with blue feet; I just wanted him born healthy. Period.

Spoiler alert: I cried tears of joy at the 2nd gender ultrasound. We had two because the first said girl and intuition said check again. So there!

"How will he play sports?"

Who said he wanted to okay sports? Maybe he'll play football, maybe he'll build computers from paperclips and old debit cards.

Hair has little to do with physical aptitude or sports prowess. Believe me. I have done kickboxing and taebo for years, with my long hair (which is generally kept at or just below my shoulders, although it has grown longer if I leave it alone), even competitively. I didn't win less trophies because my hair wasn't chopped, and I certainly didn't win more the one time I did cut it short.

If ability was as simple as a hairstyle, there would not exist so many pacifier trophies and modified and/or beginner leagues. We could all get a haircut and be experts.

"Is he really choosing this or are you?"

We pay attention to our kid's cues. Currently he screeches and is terrified of my husband's electric shaver. I walked into a barber shop, Baby Namastè in tow, one day. He was mortified, probably due to the crowd but also those clippers, shavers, and trimmers. He doesn't appear to want those things anywhere near him. I don't and won't force anything as unnecessary as a haircut.

All that to say this:

He still has time to decide, and it will be his decision and his decision only. We keep his hair clean, healthy, and presentable regardless of its length. (Ironically when it hadn't grown in yet, people asked about that too!) Right now it's long, and long term shall be until our son decides he wants a shorter style.

If the length of his hair bothers you, might I suggest not worrying about it?

Namastè!

Tayè K.