Ten Times MOM Needs A Time-out

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof this morning. I have something to share so I'm up with my poofy hair and chai, clicking away while listening to the sweet sounds of my sleeping littlest Namastè.

Mommy'ing is some hard work, y'all.

I've said that often, and it's yet to be untrue.

Sometimes we as moms need a time out. We need to unplug, unwind, and log out. In this case, I'm talking about social media. I am a blossoming social media presence myself, but I see how it can be addicting--the likes, the popularity, the validation for simply being in that space at that moment with that opinion. For moms without other interaction, it can be irresistible.

Note: I'm a blogger, not any type of expert. As a blogger, I count on social media to bolster my blog and help reach new readers. Don't take this as a stab at social media itself, because that is not my point. I won't dare say "Don't use the social media!" I don't know your situation, so I'm not here to judge. This is a general observation. (I wouldn't even give such disclaimer but someone always lurks in the shadows, waiting to take an opinion piece the wrong way.)

Beyond becoming irresistible lies addiction. Mom absolutely needs to log in. She becomes dependent on the attention and validation there in cyberspace.

I found the following to be true of moms--people in general, but especially moms, as we tend to be fairly more active online instead of venturing out with tiny newborns or toddlers. The interaction we get is valuable but it can be problematic. Let's jump right in. Notice all these statements begin with WE. ("You" statements are accusatory. "WE" statements suggest unity--there's little separating us moms in my eyes.)

1. We depend too much on the Internet for seeking "MOMpanionship."

I often say "mommy'ing is some hard work" but it is also at times some lonely work! Babies don't offer much in the way of interaction for the first few months. For moms who work inside the home that desire to have adult camaraderie can be downright stifling. (Let's be real--"stay at home" simply means you've traded your paycheck and/or uniform for a messy bun and yoga pants. You gave up the annoying coworkers and hourly wages--but you took on a neverending workload and you no longer have a guaranteed lunch buddy.) Your baby takes up the sweetest amount of time, but you still need a buddy--a MOMPANION!--to share the milestones, hits, and misses of your day. Why go out when you can log into any of thousands of social media sites and carve out your tribe!

But then we don't look for those same connections in the offline world...

2. We become obsessed with taking photos--to post online.

Every mommy loves taking pictures of her little loves. It's how we freeze the sweetest moments in time. Alas, we sometimes become dependent on the approval those pictures bring. "What a cute baby!" "Oh look at that outfit, s/he should model!" "Look at those eyes!" It's all harmless until it somehow becomes, not harmless. Sometimes moms use those validations and affirmations about her kids' cuteness to fill a void in her own heart, and that's decidedly harmful for all involved. When the pictures are no longer about CAPTURING moments and move toward staging them,  it becomes obvious the point is to please ego rather than audience.

3. We become tense/angry/anxious about the goings on in social media--as much as or more so than the things happening around us.

Social media is a wonderful little mashup of different cultures, opinions, and personalities. As such, we're bound to encounter one or two whom we don't mesh with or cannot necessarily befriend. Normal. What is NOT normal, is when we begin to feel tension, anger, and anxiety about the situations arising within these groups and applications. It is simply not healthy to tie so much energy to people we will likely never see or know beyond a screen name and what they choose to portray online.

4. Every conversation spins back to something we read or looked at online.

Perfect example--aside from reading my blog and occasionally helping with the management of my Facebook page, my husband is not into social media at all. As such, I would feel goofy filling his ears about this status or that poll. He doesn't relate to those things. When a person is obsessed or overly consumed with a thing or notion, it permeates their entire life. Social media should not do that. Mark Zuckerberg owns Facebook and probably isn't as wrapped up in it as some. Just keep in mind--grandma doesn't want to watch your viral video, and grandpa probably isn't interested in a rundown of your Twitter feed.

5. Ego. Period.

It's no secret that we all want to be liked. It's no secret that some of us simply, are! In the online world there is no shortage of celebrities and Web sensations. Going viral is a real goal for some! That's fine, because with that popularity can come a plethora of opportunities. (I can personally attest to this--as my media kit grows, so too does the list of companies who want me to use, review, or represent their offerings!)

Unfortunately that validation, that pat on the head for being good enough, can feed the ego. We get so caught up in the "celebrity" status that we forget, it's usually only online. Another example--my little blog is very well known in Georgia and among the members of Mamastè, but that "fame" doesn't translate to the level of notoriety where I sign autographs and dodge paparazzi. Ego says, BRAG ABOUT THE PERKS. Humility whispers, share them.

6. We develop an alter ego for social media to avoid being ourselves.

This one is a biggie. Social media is often an escape of sorts. We can log in and be whoever or whatever we want. Insecure, mousy types become bold and brazen. The mom who has no friends offline leads a massive clique. And in EVERY setting we have the self-appointed gurus. That's a normal mix, hence me saying "in EVERY setting." The issue here comes into play when a mom recreates herself to represent a completely different person--she creates a different name, life, and situation to escape what's really happening  (or not happening). Preferring to remain positive is one thing, but lying to people is entirely different and not at all acceptable.

7. We enjoy the attention so much, we become that overshare girl.

We all know her. We know when she last had her nails done. We know when she goes to the stores. We know when she last had sex. We're not at all stalking her, because we would not need to--she's shared and posted everything from lab reports to every emotion she's ever felt. She'll demand respect and that we don't pass judgment, but the damage will be done. She'll defend her extreme openness by saying she wants to help, to make sure other moms know they aren't alone.

There's nothing at all wrong with being an open book. It's particularly noble to share ones story to help brighten the path for others. However, we moms should consider ourselves a cut above certain things. It'd be considered crass for a man to trumpet his sex life online. Within certain forums, certain things are more acceptable, but to just freely spew the most intimate details us just a no go and very tacky in my humble opinion.

8. Even our families become fodder for the old thumbs ups.

I am one who does not post much publicly about my family, but I'm also one who understands the appeal of being relatable. (As a blogger, I do like to give you a glimpse into my world, even if just a small one! It makes what I have to say more real.)

What shouldn't occur is, the minutiae of their daily lives being trumpeted about to perfect strangers, opening them to judgments and/or criticisms they likely don't even know about. As you may know, Princess Namastè is 10 and Darling Namastè (who prefers little to no mention, anywhere, ever--period!) is 12. At their ages, they are not particularly into being fodder for my blog. They don't want "the whole world" to know about their triumphs or their shortcomings. I respect and understand this because I know they're at that point in life of figuring out who they are. While I would never share anything negative, I also have to temper my desire to brag on their achievements. My children are shy--they are just plain bashful. They don't want the world (shouts out to them for thinking the whole world reads their mama's blog!) peeking into their lives or labeling them by how I describe them. If I bragged about them, people would expect them to be perfect angels always. If I only spoke of their problems and misbehavior  (assuming there is any) they'd be deemed bad children. That's not fair to them.

9. We cannot unplug.

It is delightful to log in and find messages, comments, and reactions to our posts. It means people cared what we had to say, or at the very least that we were noticed. That's all we are here for--companionship begins with common ground after all. However when that need to check notifications morphs into an inability to unplug and step away, there's an unhealthy situation in effect. We find ourselves attending to the beeps and buzzes of our devices as quickly as we do our children's cries. The thought of logging off or unplugging for a bit is just not palatable.

10. We threaten to leave websites and groups because we want the rush of having others tell us to stay.

When we need constant reassurance, it can become a heavy load for the ones providing that reassurance. (Note: There is NOTHING wrong with needing comfort or camaraderie. Humans are wired that way. No need to get sancti!) Many times we'll withdraw at times but come back around when we feel up to the task of socializing again. However a key marker for one who is too consumed with social media is the old "I will leave!!" tactic. They announce withdrawal from a scene. Their friends rally around so they will reconsider. (Although there is no reconsidering to be done. Even if they log out for a few days or weeks, they WILL return. Period.)

Taking a break is fine! But it's almost bullying when your browbeat others into feeding your need for pity. Besides, respect goes much further than pity. (Personally I would shrink away in shame if people felt pity over me, because pity is NOT positive. It is NOT love. It is simply, "poor you. Let me be nice and gentle so you feel better.") Pity EXPIRES. Respect generally does not.

So...there are the ten reasons I think some moms need a timeout. Unplug, go outside, do something outside your comfort zone. Do something for someone else and don't tell a soul.

In everything there must be balance.

Until next time!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Natural Or BUST!

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof tonight.

I just got Baby Namastè bathed and fed. He smells like a little wisp of fresh. No perfume, no commercial scent. Just a little wisp of fresh.

I prefer to use organic, natural, and/or vegan products on Family Namastè's collective skin. I feel like that's a safer option than most of the products available.

For the most part, most natural products are as close to 100% safe as science can get. They're generally very good, also. Even so, we shouldn't just go with a product because it is touted to be all natural, organic, or cegetarian/vegan approved. As such, I do a ton of research on the items I choose for my family. I read medical journals and compare ingredients to make a sound decision.

For example, Princess Namastè has an allergy to papaya. When I am either purchasing or making skin care items (I dabble with skin butters, hair masques, and facial cleansers), I am careful to avoid papaya in even trace amounts.

When I'm getting store-bought items I pay close attention to the certifications, which I'll share with you now. For further reading and research (because while I can explain the basics to you in one post, your own research can fill your mind for a lifetime), feel free to go here.

Organic products are produced from natural components, free of chemical processes.

Vegan products are made completely without animal products. 

Vegetarian products are manufactured without animal products but  other to the strict standard required for vegan.

I prefer vegan and organic skin care products (or ingredients when I am making my own) whenever possible. I always look for the seals:

I have an exciting collaboration coming up with a certified vegan skin care line! You can get a sneak peak here or here. "Like" and "follow" so you won't miss upcoming giveaways! I never announce everything, everywhere. *wink*

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Baby Shoes??? FRESHLY PICKED please! **Review Post

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing copious amounts thereof.

Tonight I'm putting together Baby Namastè's outfits for the week and I chuckled a bit at the notion of matching his shoes.

Baby Namastè's been a stylish kid from pretty much the womb, but we didn't always have the easiest time finding his outfits. (Thank goodness he is in a 12 month top now, as that gives us more choices.)

Shoes for babies are completely for decoration. A baby who doesn't walk, doesn't really need them. I think baby shoes are pure adorable, but I've had a hard time finding cute soft-bottomed ones for my littlest one. (They need to feel the floor as they begin learning to walk--it allows them to use the muscles in their feet to get their balance. In a hard shoe, they don't use their toes and soles for balance; they only rely on the shoe.) 

Then we discovered--and collaborated with!!!--Freshly Picked moccasins. These soft mocs are so luxe! They are handcrafted of genuine leather (or suede), and they range in size from newborn to preschooler.

**This is a sponsored post, about an item provided in exchange for an honest review. While the product was sponsored, all opinions are mine and mine alone.

We got Baby Namastè, also known as Bud, his mocs back in October. Immediately upon opening the box, I was hit with that fresh genuine leather smell. You know the one! That scent that lets you know you're getting the real McCoy. 

Look at these moccasins!!! 

I took the little moccasins out and was immediately impressed. They are, for lack of better term, little pieces of suede perfection. (We got the stone suede mocs--they are a beautiful grey and fit perfectly with the baby's wardrobe.)

The detail in these moccasins is amazing.

Another look at how carefully crafted these mocs are.

I love the attention to detail in these moccasins, I cannot say that enough. They are just--so perfect and so adorable. 

I hadn't put shoes on Baby Namastè's feet much. He has little soft slippers and grippy socks. But we weren't really having luck with finding good quality soft-bottomed shoes that also looked good. We mainly saw them for little girls which is great--but we have a boy. 

When I put the mocs on his foot, he didn't squirm. In addition to being pliable, the Freshly Picked moccasins stretch and "grow" to accommodate baby's foot as they wear them. Baby Namastè doesn't walk of course, so his have probably only shaped themselves to accommodate his newfound love of standing. 

I've had so much fun dressing him up with these moccasins! He is such a handsome little darling and I love styling him, and these mocs helped put his baby debonair on maximum.

The most stylish baby in Target!

Target runs with Mom!

Pumpkin patch and 8-month photos? Effortlessly slayed.

Baby Namastè enjoying the pumpkin patch festivities.

Getting ready to announce the winner of the Namastè & Freshly Picked Giveaway.

Patiently waiting to see who won!

I'm just pleased as punch with these moccasins. They are adorable, durable, and so stylish. They aren't over-the-top. I believe they are comfortable for my son's little feet. He never fusses about them. 

When you order your moccasins, you'll need to measure your little one's feet. This is to ensure the best fit. Freshly Picked moccasins don't seem to run big or small, but they do have what I like to call a bit of flex room. They won't fit too snugly unless you order them too small. (I ordered a size 3 for Baby Namastè--he favors thicker socks, and I know these mocs will get much wear as the weather changes because they're so versatile. 

Naturally I advise socks. Baby feet sweat just like any other feet!

I truly enjoy being an ambassador for this brand, and I'm too excited to share all the giveaways and exciting sales events we have throughout the year! 

Oh my gosh, one more thing. The moccasins come with a keepsake bag for storage. It's so cute, and so thoughtful.

Thoughtful is a word that comes to mind immediately when I think of Freshly Picked. In addition to providing stellar customer care from the moment you enter the site. They answer questions as timely as possible and truly strive to ensure customer satisfaction. Most companies dont maintain contact after a sale, but you can contact Freshly Picked at any point in or after your transaction and they'll help you. 

Also--the creator of these moccasins sends a thank you letter with each purchase. I thought this was automated. I responded. She wrote back again! That was enough to secure me as a customer, period. I'm big on thank you, and I love knowing my business is appreciated. (I recently ordered two more pairs of mocs, which I'll show you as soon as they arrive!)

I hope you've enjoyed our first shoe adventure!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

The Yoomi!!! **Review Post

Namastè!

I hope you've had a wonderful holiday and are experiencing copious amounts of peace and love. My team just own the Iron Bowl  (Roll Tide!) so I am pleased as punch.

I'm so excited to share my Yoomi Feeding System experience with you!  Before I jump in. I want to say an extra special thank you to Liva, who not not only got this out to me quick as a flash, but included a lovely handwritten note as well! She made herself available to answer all my questions about the system and has been a pure joy to work with as I prepared my review and gathered info for my HoliTAYÈ Showcase.

Discolsure: This post is sponsored, but the opinions and experience detailed herein are mine and mine alone.

I have been so chuffed about this bottle since I first found it online, y'all! Baby Namastè likes his milkies warm, and since he hates bottles anyway we have a whole process getting his milkies ready if he isn't feeding straight from the b'reservoirs. It takes about 15 minutes to slowly warm his milkies. Usually we are able to get it done before he gets too agitated, but there are many bottle sessions that end in me nursing him because he doesn't like to wait.

Alas, Hubby Namastè likes feeding the baby too.

I looked into bottle warmers a couple times but never really cottoned to the idea much. When I saw the Yoomi, I was immediately interested. It's a self warming bottle! It could maintain a perfect temperature for breast milk, for up to an hour.

So imagine my excitement to actually receive it. (You can get yours here and if you type BEINGAMUMMY for your coupon code, you will receive 15% off your order at checkout.)

Now...the Yoomi is rather unassuming when you take it out of the package. It's a clear bottle with a yellow collar. It holds 8 ounces. It doesn't look much diferent than our other nursery bottle--until you pick it up. It's noticeably heavier than other bottles because right there, tucked in the nipple, is the warmer.

The warmer looks like an egg. A little egg with surface grooves and an orange button. (It is red until it's warmed.)

The egg sits inside a little rocket ship for microwaving.

Brass tacks!

The Yoomi can be used without the warmer...but where's the fun in that?!

I read over both sets of instructions and decided to try the microwave method. I was doing this around snee time (nap for the new readers), so I had about two hours to work. I followed these steps:

Once the bottle warmer was ready for use, I pushed the button. It's important to note, once you press that button it will turn blue. Then you flip the bottle and baby can begin feeding. The milkies will flow down over the grooves, warming as they go.

Nifty little addition: Printed inside the instruction leaflet is a little calendar. If you mark down the date of first use, and tick off a box for each use, you will know easily when it is time to replace your warmer. They are good for 300 uses. 

Baby Namastè, oh hater of bottles he be, took to it quickly. I suspect the warmth reminded him of his favorite "bottle" of all.

I love this bottle. I believe, tedium aside, it will be perfect for traveling! The weather has finally turned. Baby Namastè staunchly refuses cold milkies, so this will be lovely to have on hand during our seasonal road trips. I'm gonna get some additional warmers to charge up and rotate, and in a couple weeks I'll get to put this futuristic bottle to another big test--Road Trip with Baby Namastè!

I have a demo video going up over on our Facebook, where you can see my bloopers and blessings as I assemble and feed Baby Namastè from the Yoomi for the first time. (Initially we just tried the bottle without warmer--today he had the whole shebang.) The video is prerecorded in segments, then edited together. I wanted to show the process, but the charge setup takes over an hour.

I hope you enjoy!

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

What's In A Name?

Namastè!

I hope you're all basking in the 'itis after a wonderful day of food, family, and fellowship.

As much as I share here about Baby Namastè, I have never spoken his name.

It isn't the usual, l-don't-want-others-to-have-his-name foolery. We don't own it, and we are not so jaded that we think that, by not revealing it, it will stay magical. No. His name will be, regardless. I doubt we will run into very many stateside.

Our family has deep Tamil and West Indian roots. After a slight hiccup in customs regarding surnames, Hubby Namastè and I followed the Tamil tradition of names after marriage. (After marriage the wife takes her husband's first name as her surname. The children follow suit. It is how each branch of  family establishes a legacy.) Needless to say, I wasn't able to logically name Baby Namastè, junior or the second. He would be Double K Junior. *chuckle*

We decided to go with naming him after his uncle, who sadly passed away a few months before he was born. That name resonated with me and I loved it's cadence. It means "rising sun" in Tamil.

Baby Namastè IS our "rising son." He is bright, he lights up our lives, he's the fire in our sky. He reminds his dad of a childhood spent with his brother, as he takes on traits of the uncle he never met. When we compare their photos, we can see the resemblance there and it's more than a passing similarity.

His middle name, Ajani, means "He who wins the struggle."

I'm not a martyr, nor do I like to rehash my worst days for teachable moments or illustration. Suffice it to say, he definitely won the struggle. Hyperemesis coupled with the stress of literally losing everything made for a very difficult gestation. Thankfully he arrived as healthy as could be, our little frank breech wonder boy.

While a lot of thought went into Baby Namastè's name, we didn't obsess over it. If we couldn't find one that we liked beforehand, we knew we would select a fitting moniker when we met him.

He's always looked like his name. It fits him. It suits his little self to a tee and I honestly couldn't imagine calling him anything else.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

Cloth Diaper Adventures!

Namastè!

I hope you're all basking in this finally autumnal weather! I'm chuffed as pie myself. The fever has broken and aside from an achy chest and a barking cough, I'm feeling ALIVE again!

I call Baby Namastè my experimental baby.

Princess Namastè spent her first year of life in and out of the hospital due to her lungs. Asthma and pneumonia stole an unfair amount of my time with her in the early weeks and months. (That's why she's spoiled now--I give her so much because when she was so tiny and helpless, I felt like I was not able to give her enough!)

But Baby Namastè's been all mine from the start. So I'm not ashamed to own up to the fact that the things I missed out on with Princess, I try to catch with him.

I always wanted to try cloth diapers. Hubby Namastè's encouraged me to do whatever I see fit with regards to the kids--he is on board with my kooky parenting style and I couldn't be more thankful for that. As an added bonus, Brother Namastè (my favorite brother and the kids' favorite uncle) is always willing to make a store run when Hubby Namastè is away and I spawn a scheme or two.

Just imagine the conversation.

"Honeybunch, I want to try something new with the baby." *bats eyes*

"That's okay. Do you need supplies?"

I love my parenting journey even more because my partner is awesome. I unabashedly adore my team, even if it's not conventional. (Most moms are closer to their sisters, but I am closer to my brother.) It definitely helps my confidence.

I digress.

I'm so into cloth diapering. I love the patterns and prints. I love how soft they are. I love how Baby Namastè looks so comfortable in them. (I don't love the cleanup--but I don't love that part of disposables either!)

Note: I don't scoff or turn my nose up at any parenting style! My own is a mashup of practices from different styles on the spectrum, so please don't take my experience or opinion as a gauge to measure your own. Remember, most of you can eat avocado and strawberries--but if I go out and do the same, I may literally die because I am dangerously allergic. NEVER be afraid or ashamed to make your own choices but do look into different options because you might find a new niche!

I decided to try my hand at making our own cloth diapers last night. I'm pretty handy with the sewing machine, but I wasn't feeling up to that so I decided to go with a fleece no-sew. I'd share a pattern...but I didn't use one. *insert maniacal chuckle*

Basically, I cut my baby's size in some fleece and that was the outside, the shell. I used black. (I had some left from a blanket I made for him, which turned out so cute and I'll show you in another post or over on IG!)

The liner is the basic trifold. I used fleece again, but I also used a disposable liner because I didn't trust my prototype diaper's absorbency.

Once I got everything together, I pinned it on Baby Namastè and crossed my fingers. Cloth diapers are great, but since this one was homemade I wasn't sure it'd be on par with the ones we purchased. (This wasn't our first rodeo with cloth--just homemade cloth.) I have never been able to pin them smooth, where they lay like a disposable, but I got it secured which is the important thing I guess.

I'm a brazen momma. I was so chuffed about how well the diaper held up (and held the goop IN) after 3 changes that I decided Baby Namastè should sleep in it. He was so comfortable after his bath, playing with his toys while sporting the homemade cloth diaper that I figured, why not?

Before bed...

He woke up dry!!! (Well, the outside of the diaper was dry. Of course he piddled.) There was no wet spot in the bed. Sucess!!!

I will be checking out some patterns today to sew some as well. I still have a stash of disposables, but I'm all for using cloth around the house because they're cute. I have time to deal with the cleaning, and I'm so appreciative of the chance to try different things with him.

If you're more inclined to try some pre-made cloth diapers, I recommend these.

I'm off to see what else I can create without moving too much. I'm finally beginning to feel a bit of relief. Pneumonia is horrid--my chest feels like someone took a jackhammer to it and I can't even think without triggering a coughing spell. I'm feeling some relief though--I must stress that. This is Peachy compared to those days last week with the 103 temp and not being able to snuggle Kids Namastè! I'm MUCH better, just have a ways to go before I'm at 100 percent.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡

D-MER: My Experience

Namastè!

I hope you're having a great evening.

I'm finishing a pump session and I finally remembered what I wanted to write about earlier!

D-MER. Dysphoric milk ejection reflex.

I am 8, almost 9 months strong in my breastfeeding journey with Baby Namastè. I pump as well as nurse, and while he does enjoy a few solid foods, I don't push him to eat. I'm content with nursing and bottle feeding expressed milkies, and he is happy and healthy. 

* Before age one, solids are for fun.

I digress.

D-MER has made my journey soooo difficult.

What D-MER is, is a set of dysphoric (read: bad, uncomfortable, opposite effect euphoric) feelings and/or anxiety that occur with letdowns. Every time I pump, nurse, or experience a spontaneous letdown, I feel a rush of anxiety and discomfort. Sometimes it's a wave of sadness. And other times I just feel irritable as heck. All of this happens as a result of "inappropriate dopamine activity" at the time of letdown, before milk flow.

D-MER is NOT postpartum depression--it only occurs right before milk flow. While it does carry the potential to disrupt breastfeeding (it is uncomfortable, trust me), and some women will stop entirely, it is not a psychological response to breastfeeding, nor is it a generalized mood disorder. It is a physiological anomaly.

The first time I experienced the Wave as we call it, I thought postpartum depression was setting in, and I was terrified. I field roughly 90% of the household management because Hubby Namastè works 6 days a week, sometimes 18 hours a day. I take care of the bills, I cook, I clean, and I look after Kids Namastè. We don't have a nanny.

Did I mention we don't have a nanny?!

I was terrified of getting postpartum depression because I already have a huge workload. (Healing from any kind of depression is WORK. Period. With everything else I have going on, I was paralyzed in fear of adding postpartum depression to the list.) The fear was gripping, stifling.

I know the score--these things need addressing immediately. There is no shame in getting help. I contacted my OB, who asked me to make a journal of those feelings for an appointment, so I could track when it was happening and what may have led to it.

...but I noticed it went away quickly. Within a few minutes of nursing or pumping, the feeling would vanish. As suddenly as I felt like a horrible cloud was over me, I went back to feeling like my usual self again.

You'd think that would reassure me some, but it made me curious.

Let me confess my sin here--I never ever Google any symptom when I am sick or otherwise out of commission. I make a concerted effort not to drum up more fear and uncertainty by trying to do the work of an MD when my degrees are in English, Business Communications, and Criminal Justice.

Before my doctor told me about D-MER, he had me take a quiz. I scored 35. That score, combined with my description of what was happening to me as well as what he could see when I fed the baby in the office, was enough to confirm.

D-MER is decidedly uncomfortable, but it need not end your breastfeeding journey. There are a variety of treatments available, from behavioral to pharmaceutical. (I chose a non-medical program, as I prefer to not take any more medication than needed. I was able to fight for my happy nursing story, but before I was diagnosed I had never even heard of D-MER.

I want to make sure you guys know about it, hopefully before it affects you.

The quiz is here.

The symptoms:

-Feeling anxiety, sadness, anger, homesickness, or any fleeting mood change at letdown.

-Feeling disappears shortly after milk begins to flow.

-You are unable to talk yourself out of the feelings. [D-MER is reflexive, caused by hormones.]

As I stated, D-MER is a physiological condition. Only the most severe cases require medication. I get a slight tremor with the Wave, but I've accepted it as a temporary malfunction. My body, like many other moms, simply goes haywire before milk ejection. (I can add that to my list of squirmy phrases.)

If you are having these feelings, or any feelings, that disrupt your nursing or bonding with your baby, SPEAK UP. There's nothing wrong with getting some help. Mommy'ing is some hard work, and we need all the fortification we can get go steel ourselves for bearing the glorious load.

I hope this sheds some light or bridges the gap for someone.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡