Namastè!
I'm up tonight with a worry I hadn't anticipated for at least two or three more years. You know, kindergarten age?!
My baby bear has been invited on his first playdate sans parents. Unattended. ALONE. And obviously it wasn't with a family member, as we don't have any nearby anymore.
As in, he would be going to his little pal's house to play and have a snack. Alone. As in, I wouldn't be there. This concerns me greatly for several reasons, which I'll expand on momentarily.
Before we go any further, I said no.
He cannot go on a playdate without one of us (Dad or me) present.
The idea of leaving him anywhere bothers me.
No, I don't populate our life with nefarious, ne'er do well types. I don't think our friends would ever harm our little guy. I know they all love him dearly.
The things are (because there's more than one!)...
1. Our man cub is only two.
He's still a baby. Babies need to be where? With mom and dad. There are other worries with him being so young.
I would not be comfortable with just anyone taking him to the bathroom.
2. What kind of environment is the home, really?
Are they as patient with their child at home as they are at Mommy and Me class? Is it a safe environment? (No smoking? No drinking while my kid is there? Will there be constant CONSCIOUS supervision--not two toddlers getting up to mischief while the hosting parent clicks and taps away in their phone?)
In 2018 the same people you eat lunch with, chat online with, or even Grill in the park with, can be horrible. I'd hate to unknowingly send my child into a home where racist jokes, ideals, and attitudes are commonplace. I'd hate to send him into a home where there is constant discord. I can't protect him from everything, forever, but I assure you he will not experience people's ignorance right now.
3. Will the hosts respect my boundaries?
While I'm not a helicopter or a loon, I have certain rules. I don't want the person supervising my child to be more engrossed in their phone than watching and making sure he's not doing anything to hurt himself or their house. Speaking of phones...It'd be pretty heckin' gnarly if I DON'T see my kid on their Snapchat or Instagram story.
5. Will they treat him fairly and kindly when I'm not around?
People can be the salt of the earth when they're right there before you. Because I am such a people watcher, I am very vigilant when it comes to who is allowed the privilege of time with my little ones. (Yes, I consider it a privilege--you should consider time with your kids a privilege too!) They don't meet everyone. They don't spend time around everyone. They most definitely don't go home with everyone!
I don't care how well I know you, or how well I think I do because honestly who really know?!
I watch people's mannerisms super carefully--how they respond to stress, how they react to the unexpected, how they handle anger. While most of that generally has nothing to do with my child, it also has EVERYTHING to do with my child! He's two. When he is tired or cranky, how will the host react? When he forgets his manners, how will they respond?
I don't say if because, again, he is two. Right now he is still learning. He is figuring out what he can and cannot do, as well as beginning to learn what he should and should not do.
The only people required to be patient and kind to him are his father and me. We are responsible for guiding him, teaching him, and (when necessary) disciplining him. Right now he's too young to be away, because while he can talk quite well, he needs to be able to articulate exactly what happens. He needs to have an unshakeable understanding about his body and why no one is to violate his space. He needs to know one, he can tell us anything and two, he will be protected.
Two is just not old enough.
Coming back to the here and now...my kid is peacefully snoozing in his bed. Tomorrow will be a whole new day of fresh adventures. He'll wave to the postal carrier. He'll have snack with his sister. He'll practice being gentle and using an indoor voice.
...when he's a little older, we will definitely let him hang out with his buddies. He'll do unattended playdates and outings, maybe even sleepovers.
But right now, no.
Right now, he is my little bear, and I am not ashamed or afraid to say his time belongs to me. I know he's being treated well and being exposed to only what's appropriate. At this point, I have full reign over what he soaks up.
I hold this responsibility near and dear.
Namastè!
-- Tayè K. ♡
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