No Relationship Overshares or TMIs From This Girl!

Namastè!

I hope you're experiencing a joyous overflow this morning.

I've been awake for a while now, as I'm still not able to sleep properly just yet. I'm very congested and my chest and head are aching intermittently.

I was looking at my social media. I'm becoming more active with Facebook and Instagram--but the more active I become, the more reserved I become also. I love, love, love interacting and sharing with my friends and associations the day to day happenings. I'm always very excited to catch up on their day to day adventures as well. I take a little time every day or so to sit down and really check in (well, except Brittany and Alicia--I have to talk to them at least a couple times a day, because they're my breath of fresh air!) on my tribe.

But I also work feverishly to protect my privacy, my safe space. As I have published this blog in a globally public space (the good old Internet, where nothing is ever truly deleted and things are easily misconstrued and spun to suit the vantage point most beneficial to whomever is currently discussing) I diligently avoid oversharing. I don't discuss my relationship, aside from sharing the highlights and special moments, or little anecdotes that could be inspiring to others.

I won't allege that Hubby Namastè and I are perfect, because we are far from it. We're just surviving, happily and voluntarily together, most of life's curveballs. We are undeniably a unit, a (mostly) solid force. We are the very best of friends! I would not undermine our relationship for likes or double taps. This is the man who has held my hair as I puked up my inner workings.

That's not to say I won't talk about our ups and downs--I do. I paint the most honest portrait of our life that I can without compromising our pact to each other.  But I won't paint us in a negative light. You see, your working opinion of him is based on how I describe him. If I'm having a bad day and I go spouting off about how terrible he is, you would wonder why I hang around. You would think he was either not a good guy or not consistently a good guy, and you would wonder why I settle. This isn't saying couples don't have bad days, or that people shouldn't vent--I am just saying that I'm very careful about doing so (read: I make a point not to!) in a public forum. I won't open my personal life to that kind of judgment. If I went off on some tangent then retracted, I'd have to either clear it up with a heck of a mea culpa OR be willing to look really dumb because while I just made my husband look like a major dragon give minutes or days ago, I'm right back with him.

As for the trend of being extra generous in intimacy details...tsk tsk. I'm neither a sex therapist nor an exhibitionist, I will never divulge the whens, wheres, or hows of our most private moments. I don't think he'd like that, and I know I'd die of terror if he were discussing that with strangers. I feel like that's embarrassing to him and not very ladylike for me.

I think our culture depends too much on validation. We want to be thumbs'd up. We want those double taps. We want the approval of our friends.

But sometimes that desire for attention can become an addiction, a straight up detriment.

I don't want that. I love the camaraderie of my parents' group, and I love to kick back and chat with my tribal council for our lovely gab fests--but I'll always try to avoid being "that" girl. The one who overshares and then has to do damage control.

I will always be the other girl though--the one who tries to share insights and super without becoming a teachable moment herself.

Namastè!

-- Tayè K. ♡