Excuse You? Mind Your Face!

As you know, my tumbly toddler tiny tot is a big brother.

He isn't quite three yet, so we haven't taken away his toys and sentenced him to hard labor in the rock yard.

Nah.

Our little guy still gets his juice in his preferred cup. He gets snuggles and bedtime stories. It isn't uncommon to find him curled up with his blankie and his Baboochi, either resting from his usual toddler rush or simply recharging his little spirits by way of his loveys.

If he falls asleep in the car, we carry him into the house just as we always have. (Yes, he'll outgrow it eventually--but he's every bit of two years old and if it pleases the jury, we will take what fleeting time we can; it all passes too swiftly.) The double stroller awaits if his little legs get tired while we are zipping about the mall or he needs a break from walking during one of our city explorations.

He isn't expected to behave like an adult or even an older child.

One, because he's two.

Two...well, he's TWO.

There are actual adults, people eighteen and up, who need more support and concessions than my toddler. They have the right to it!

What irks me is when people see our son indulging (I can't think of the exact word I need here--how is he being spoiled when it's our job to nurture and protect him?!) in our good parenting and feel the need to point out X-Y-Z. 

We are perfectly capable of nurturing his emotional needs without handicapping him. Having a younger sibling does not negate the fact that he himself is still a younger sibling!

The key word is, we do it without handicapping him. He is a sensitive child, but he is not being held back or overly-coddled. His cognitive and developmental leaps attest to that...

He dresses himself--fully! Underwear (because at age 2, he is completely potty trained INCLUDING nights, and he can clean himself up too), shirts, pants, AND shoes. He knows his colors and numbers, and is beginning to recognize some words. He speaks two languages (he's GOOD in Tamil and developing in Hindi) in addition to English. Speaking of speaking--he speaks in full sentences. While he still has what I call the toddler accent, there's usually very little confusion when he's telling us something.

Emotionally, he's fairly even-kieled to only be two. He will actually tell you if he is mad, sad, sleepy, or hungry. He's still prone to the same fits and fury as any other toddler, mind you, but he is not bratty. He still has some separation anxiety, but most kids his age do--the world is big, probably more so when you're coming into the realization that it's not only bigger than you, but also Mom and Dad. He sleeps best with mom and dad (we cosleep and you're welcome to not join us!), and he's got a blankie and a couple plushies for comfort when he sleeps in his own space.

Even though he is well loved and gets all the cuddles he can handle, he's still a wild man. He climbs, ribs and makes all kinds of crazy games with his little squad. He's even beginning to recreate adventures from his books and current favorite show The Lion Guard.

His days are just as full of active play and exploration as they are of reading and cuddling with us. He's attached to us, but we are his safe spot--we aren't a ball and chain, we are his base. When the adventures get scary, he knows we are here to comfort him and build him up, a solid recharge for the next round.

He's petty well-rounded. Turns out, we've done a decent job with him. Didn't snuggle the smart out of him at all!

...that being clarified, YES. YES WE DO. We still coddle him a bit. We still snuggle him. We still hold him. We still consider his comfort. We still make an effort to address things he cannot quite articulate yet, to make him content. We teach him empathy and compassion by modeling it.

We aren't sending a hard ass into the world. He won't bear the toxins of being forced to stifle his needs or feelings simply because he's of a certain age or because he's a boy. We have enough kindness and affection to go around (more than enough times) and we try to give each of our kids exactly what they need, whether it's a little more one on one time with mom or dad, or more time to figure it out on their own. Right now our son flourishes under a more attached approach.

All 3 do, and while it's exhausting at times,  we're up for it.

So yeah. He IS a big brother. He IS almost 3.

He IS our son, and he IS going to get as much affection and attention as he's willing to receive. Being his (and his sisters') mom and dad is our best and most rewarding work, so we don't mind putting in work.

You're welcome to not worry about how much we coddle him. Cordially invited, even!