We Out of Towners Want You To Know...

Namastè!

Do you have out of towners in your family?

Sure you do.

The holiday festival season is upon us. Actually it's sitting its spice-scented buns right on our kitchen counters whispering wonderful phrases like "cake," "pie," and "gift cards for Targetttttt."

It also comes with that bevy of invites.

You know the ones.

"Join us for dinner!"
"Y'all should swing by!"
"Bring those babies to see us!"

I cringe.

Not because I don't want to spend time with the ones I love, but because I am an OOT. Out of Towner. As in, I didn't just leave the nest--I left the nest, jumped about six point two trees over that way, and built my own nest. I do travel often enough to other trees, because all work and no play makes Tayè a dull bird, but I also really dig plucking around and tweaking at the nest we bust our tailfeathers to have and keep.

After all my tree hopping and forest ambassador'ing, I usually want to corral the hubby and kids and relax. We've created or own traditions while still managing to participate and inculcate those of our families.

But it's not reciprocated.

As such, this year we won't be the OOTs--because we're staying in our own nest.

The biggest issue with OOT life is that people will travel and go as they see fit, up until it's time to visit the OOTs. We don't get visits. We get guilt trips about how if we can go to New York for a birthday, we can spare a day or two for visiting the family!

We don't deny this.

It's just, because no one in our family is bed bound or unable to travel, we have stopped running delivery. We explained this once.

• "I don't have a car."

Ok, cool. However! When we offer to pick you up or provide transit, you find 50 excuses why you can't come.

• *insert impossible travel stipulations*

You live more than two hours away--you seriously want us to come get you, clock watch all day, and bring you back before dark?! It gets dark at 5 pm!

• "You need to come get me."

Not a problem. However...I need you to not wait until I'm halfway there, as in, I've already crosses the state line and am making pretty good time, to call me and cancel.

• *turn the journey into an errands blitz*

I'm a helpful so and so. I'm absolutely cool with making a run or two before we hit the road back toward my abode. However! We won't be doing a million honey-dos. Let's get the holidays out the way and then I'll make a day for you.

• "Y'all live too far out!"

Okay, fair enough. But that same "too far" applies to you now, too! Do you not realize we don't have a time warp? We feel the same constraints as you when we travel.

...

In my family (it would be the Tayès, *smirk*), it's just excuses. The same people who travel as much, if not more, than I do, suddenly develop the "can't-moves" around this time of year. I'm not sure if it's because they want to be "that house" in my grandma's absence, or if they really truly don't mess with my branch of the family tree like that.

I just know this OOT won't be bending any highways this season for anyone who hasn't made that effort for me.